Nita, the Pop Song

I’m in the middle of rewriting Nita, breaking the scene down into beats and looking at the motifs and repetition, and I’m delighted to see that the scene has fallen into one of my favorite scene structures, the AABA structure, which is the basis of most pop songs. Then it occured to me that I’d never mentioned this before on Argh because it’s not a theory or a rule and because I’m complete idiot about music, so I’m reluctant to pontificate there. But the AABA structure can be so useful (for some scenes, not all, not a rule) that it’s a just good thing to know. Continue reading

The Devil in Nita Dodd, Scene 2 Revision

Again, thank you very much for the critiques, Kelly S, Office Wench, S, Micki, Amy, and Reb! Here’s the revision. Keep in mind, this will change again and again, and will definitely have to be cut; it’s way too long. But it does try to solve the problems in the previous draft that you all pointed out in your critiques.


When Nick Borgia came out of the hellhole Vinnie Smith called his office, carrying the fiction that Vinnie called his ledgers, Vinnie was behind the bar, a glass in one hand and a bottle of whiskey labeled “Demon Rum” in the other, the picture of thuggish misery. Continue reading

Revising Scene by Beats: Nita’s First Scene

So I had a first scene for the Book That’s Not Happening, and it was a mess. Well, it was a first draft, they’re a mess by definition. And since this week’s Writing/Romance post was on beats, I thought I’d break down the opening mess into beats and revise it here. Because that would be a blog post. It’s been a bad couple of days so I’m behind on Argh, and I am nothing if not a multi-tasker.

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Sense8: Revising “Limbic Whatsit”

Warning: HUGE SPOILERS IN THIS POST. Sense8-Characters_2 I went back and looked at the pilot in light of what I knew about the whole series. I think the problems are much more complex than just the first episode, and because I don’t completely understand what they’re trying to do here, it’s iffy to say “This is how that first episode should have gone.” But based on the idea that a beginning should introduce the protagonists while establishing setting, mood, tone, and conflict, which is pretty basic storytelling, here’s how I’d revise that pilot. Continue reading

The Sense8 Pilot: “Limbic Resonance” WTF?

This is really just me walking myself through the pilot trying to find a narrative pattern.  There wasn’t one.  It’s thinking out loud if you will.  I’m not going to delete it because there’s good stuff in the comments, but I’d skip ahead to the Episode 1 and 2 post.

JULY 27, 2015
Warning: TL,DR: I saw a TV pilot that made me crazy so I watched it twice more to see how I’d fix it. I still don’t know, but I wrote three thousand words about why I couldn’t figure it out. Also the show is really good, so plow through the pilot and then settle in for the remaining eleven episodes. It’s worth it. Oh, and it’s definitely R rated, so don’t watch it with the kids or if graphic sex and violence and full frontal nudity appall you. Also HUGE SPOILERS IN THIS POST. ssd Last week, I decided to wind down before bed by trying out a new-to-me TV show, Sense8 the latest effort from Andy and Lana Wachowski, who brought us The Matrix and bullet time, and their co-creator and co-writer Michael J. Straczynski. An hour later, I was frowning at the TV; a good reaction to a pilot is not “I don’t understand most of that.” But I was really comfortable and I liked some of the characters, so I clicked on the second episode, and four hours later I was finishing up episode five, completely hooked. I finished the twelve-episode series in two more days, and then tried to process what I’d just seen. Continue reading