So I have too many clothes.
I think it’s because I buy things and think, “If I wear this, I will be this kind of person.” And then I wear it, and I’m still just me. So I’ve been going through decades of clothes and donating like crazy, and I’m down to the stuff I either love (keeping that) or stuff I’m not sure about. A lot of that is “I paid a bundle for that, I should wear it,” which is ridiculous unless I’m willing to go person to person explaining, “I know I look like an idiot in this, but it cost me a lot of money so I have to wear it.” No.
But getting rid of nine tenths of my wardrobe has given me back a lot of great old clothes I’d been overlooking, old clothes with great memories, old clothes that just look really good on me. It’s reassuring after finding so many of my mistakes–what the hell was I doing with ruffled sleeves?–to find these slightly weird but really great clothes. It’s like therapy: I’m finding the real thing. Maybe even the real me (work in progress).
That’s a good thing.
What good thing happed for you this week?
49 Responses
Jenny, I, too, got rid of some old clothes. My DIL is a coordinator for all kinds of things for a High School, including the clothes closet, so she is taking a lot of my winter stuff to help fill the closet again. She is also helping a graduate who is of flexible gender get ready to go to NAU, which is much colder than Phoenix, in the winter. I donated all my black stuff to them. It’s not my color, and they wear it a lot, evidently. I had several down jackets they will like, and some other dark, warm, clothing
The walk-in closet is full, but it still holds much less than the double clothes rack and tall clothes rack in the basement and 2 extra closets upstairs that I had full of stuff in Kansas. It’s very freeing to get rid of all that.
I also unpacked a lot of boxes and got rid of some of that stuff. The island of boxes in the living room is just one deep, now!
One of the good things this week was reading the introduction to Stephen King’s The Gunslinger titled “On being Nineteen”. For all of you who have or are soon to have a nineteen year old, it was thought provoking for me. I have tried to paraphrase it three times now and have erased what I said because my paraphrasing lacked the astuteness and humor , and basically I am not as good at writing as he is.
Another good thing – for me- is the neighbor guy home from college is not having any luck finding a job and asked if I would hire him to help out. Last year I had to let nonessentials go so my yard is a mess. Now all I have to do is give money and I have someone else to do all the backbreaking weeding that I have been dreading.
I have way too many clothes. I just switched my summer and winter clothes. Took items to a community clothing swap and didn’t bring anything home (pants that didn’t fit will be re-donated). I have decided that anything I don’t wear this summer will be removed from my closet. Whether I can actually do this is another story.
I had lunch with my nephew which is always enjoyable. He’s a really lovely person. He and his gf got engaged recently and are getting married next year. Sounds like a low key event, unlike his older sister’s destination wedding in Italy.
Most of my garden is now planted. I have more Basil to squeeze in and want to plant more bean seeds. I would be really happy if a neighbour’s cat would stop using my garden as a litter box. A small thing – my garden brings me lots of joy from March to October.
Susan, I ended up putting a lot of flat rocks around the plants in my flower bed because of the cat problem. It covered up the soft dirt the cat liked to use.
I would like a neighbor’s cat to visit us. We have nip in the yard. Still, no cats. 😕
I have very few clothes (intentionally), since I’m self-employed and work from home and am more functional than fashionable. Plus, given my range-of-motion issues, wearing anything other than some iteration of jeans and pull-on shirts (tees, hoodies, and tank tops) is annoying.
What I DO have bursting out of every possible nook and cranny in the house is quilts. Some bed-sized, more baby/lap-sized, and a bunch cat/doll-sized. So what made me happy this week is that I spent the weekend choosing 5 baby/lap quilts (a little under 40″ square) and close to 30 quiltlets (18-20″ square) to donate to the Romancing the Vote auction (July 1-5), photographing them, and uploading everything to the donation form. My cats helped: https://www.instagram.com/p/DZTGn1EoR3W/ (and scroll down my feed to the next older entry if you want to see the lap/baby quilts.
Of course, knowing that all this clutter is going to be finding homes where it will be better appreciated inspired me to go looking at fabric online and ordering the backing (which will inspire the colors for the front) for my next quilt, a bed-sized one that, for a change, is actually for myself, in lovely teals and turquoises, for use in the summer when I still like the weight of a blanket (with a thin cotton batting) across my core.
Oh, and I don’t have links, which would get me moderated anyway, and I’m sure you can find them on your own, but two Murderbot-related things made me happy: 1) fun, spoilery interview of Martha Wells at Smart Bitches Trashy Books, mostly about the most recent Murderbot, and 2) Murderbot, the tv show, won a Nebula for best Dramatic Presentation at the Science Fiction Writers conference this weekend.
Nice work, Gin.
Love Mabel’s photo bomb!
Since I live in Chicago (where the Nebulas were this year), I volunteered there and was in the room for the awards. Neither of the writers of the TV show bothered to attend. 😠
The Nebula rules will be different next year, so big productions who don’t value the Nebulas can’t win. (I don’t know the wording of the new rules.) In the future, if anyone thinks some big TV show or movie deserves to win a Nebula, that will be part of why it didn’t.
I hope you kept the long dress with hood that you shared about years ago. I own one because of you.
I don’t have too many clothes as such – I have clothes that I don’t wear because I have not given up on them fitting and flattering again someday. Someday 😃
I am happy to be home after my trip to Canada. Travel in both directions was more fraught than expected but the actual train travel between Windsor and Toronto was very enjoyable both directions. We got a lot done with our work group. I saw a dear friend and spent time with dear sister. And bought coffee crisp candy bars that I don’t believe are sold in the US so all good.
A good thing is my new hobby; I listen to great Commencement Speeches I find on YouTube.
We made it to the farmers market in time to buy scapes and sorrel and garlic paste, all of which were sold out when we got there last week. So we will be eating sorrel soup and pistachio scape pesto pasta.
We saw good friends for brunch who were in town from NY.
DS who was getting very nervous about layoffs at MIT (due to Trump related funding problems) was told he would be renewed.
I got the third batch of annuals planted and I think I may be done aside from starting some nasturtiums from seed.
I did get one lily to bloom and am researching deer fences for next spring.
I have not yet lost my patience with houseguest. We have to make it until July 10 or so and I have decided that we will eat out at least once a week to help give us space and try new restaurants. So far the new Thai restaurant was a fail.
( In not so good news DH and I are very concerned that foster daughter’s boyfriend had to take out a loan in order to cover the security deposit and first month rent; they all had months to save for this and instead kept eating out and traveling and so forth .) DH and I are also concerned that foster daughter and boyfriend’s relationship will fall apart under the pressure of living with his mother —or worse that FD won’t be able to walk away when it becomes problematic. We are talking about how to support her escaping this if she needs to.
The Protective Services process is moving forward and to my delight I was able to get them to consider trying to freeze the very large fund set aside for the daughter during the parents’ divorce so that crazy mom can’t use it to pay for lawyers to try to get daughter back. And so it can either help daughter live independently if she is really handicapped or pay for college if it turns out she is not. I have been trying to get them to do this for two months. (Also it takes away mom’s financial incentive to have the daughter die. You know you are in really strange territory when you say this to someone’s sister and they completely agree that it’s a concern. )
DS texted me “At a work group lunch thing the topic of weddings that ended poorly came up.
And I mentioned that my dad was best man at a wedding that ended in divorce when the husband got dementia and the wife took advantage of that to munchausen the kids and temporarily flee with them to Ecuador and maybe try to kill one of them and now cps is involved.
I don’t think they believed me.”
I told him I am always amazed when people believe me.
The reason I’m up so late on a Sunday evening is because I was just getting ready to go to bed when my son came and told me there’s water pouring out of a pipe down the cellar. Great! If we can get by till tomorrow and there is no doubt, I will have to call Roto Router to unclog the pipe. And now that the contractors have started on the rental, we have a lovely porta potty in our yard. Our very own lawn decoration.
I started moving clothes around yesterday. Sweatshirts to t-shirts and kept a couple of sweatshirts back just in case. I have a bag set aside for clothes I’m giving away. Now if only to remain ruthless in my selections. Like a lot of you I have favorites. If they still fit, I keep, as long as they don’t have any tears, I’m good. If the fabric feels sturdy but they are faded I’ve been known to buy a box or two of dye in order to hang on to them.
Last night I watched the latest episode of the Dutton Ranch and today I finally saw the last episode of Outlander. Made me think of the characters of Jamie and Claire in Outlander and Rip and Beth of the Dutton Ranch formerly Yellowstone. Outlander was definitely a love story while Rip and Beth have a bond they’ve carried since the teen years.
Mulched both strawberry beds with bracken & my Christmas tree chopped up small, and netted them, and picked the first strawberry. Hoping for a bowlful by the end of the week. Also enjoying vases of flowers and a colourful, scented garden.
I am not getting rid of clothes yet, but I am organizing in preparation. Part of reselling means I do a lot of shopping and things accumulate. I have a weakness for good materials. It’s hard to pass on cotton, linen, wool and silk. Happily, I don’t have the urge to keep most of it, but it does take time to cycle through. And now that I am not public facing at work, what I wear can be different.
I bought a heavy two poles clothing rack at a yard sale and am using it to organize. One side is keep, the other is sell. There is a donate bag too. So now my guest bedroom looks better, even if I am still just shifting things around and not resolving them. I finally feel like I am getting my life back together after the chaos my father brought and the ensuing brain fog.
I’m glad to hear that you feel like you’re getting your life back together.
I say ditto to your comment, Tammy. That was a lot of trauma to undo in your life, Lupe.
Thanks Jan. I feel weird about it, like I should have handled it better, as it was categorically Not That Bad, but here we are. I hope when his time actually comes my father will go quickly for all our sakes. I just wasn’t prepared for how much he fight the idea that he could get better. Untreated anxiety and depression feel like the are contagious.
Um. It sure looked that bad to me. You were the sole caregiver for a very difficult parent, including medical decisions, daily visits, taking him into your home, and cleaning up a hoarder house. Any one of those would have been more than enough ! Please give yourself credit for all you did. And what you gave up to do it.
Thanks Debbie,
That is very kind. I think I was just kidding myself about the amount of baggage I was still carrying and about his mental health. I thought he had gotten better when he quit drinking and ascribed a lot of his paranoia to the alcohol. We did ok when he lived with me the last time after going into heart failure caused by covid and I though he was better, I was better and the relationship together was better, but man, a lot of the old patterns really reappeared this time and I wasn’t expecting that.
It might help instead to think of them as wounds that healed but are still tender.
I feel like I keep saying it, but like, for real this time. Pretty sure.
Also, my sister texted this morning and wants to bring the new boyfriend for July 4th. So I need to get serious about cleaning instead of just Side Quest cleaning. I would have preferred to meet him before sharing space, but it was not to be.
Also he is younger than her and black. My father is going to have a cow and he doesn’t even know he is her upstairs neighbor… Sigh. Not my problem, is what I keep telling myself but there is sure to be A Drama. Annoying,
I think you need a mantra to repeat at moments of drama. Possibly “dad she’s a grown up and it’s not your business” or “she knows dad and she chose to bring him here, not my monkeys not my problem, I can step out of the room”.
We often tell ourselves that things are farther along the path towards sanity in order to make ourselves do what we don’t want to do. But any version of “Not my circus, not my Monkeys” is bound to help. And planning a few reasons to step out of the room ahead of time couldn’t hurt.
I have been thinking about getting my clothes ” pruned”. I retired 2 years ago the clothes I used to wear are all in my closet, I rarely use them, but like you said those suits cost a bundle as well as the long Christmas party formal dresses! I will donate them as soon as I we stop taking care of my sweet granddaughter 10 hours a day! DH and I enjoy her so much! But we are both havibg to do back and core exercises to walk.
I feel your pain (literally!) I just sent an email to my doctor requesting a script so that Medicare will pay for some PT.
I’m very close to retiring and have been putting off closet cleaning forever. I appreciate your advance work and reporting – helps me to be inspired and understand what is coming down the pike! And that it can be done! Thank you!
I have way too many clothes even after doing a major purge. Well, purges, since it is kind of ongoing. I got rid of clothes I haven’t worn in years, ones which will NEVER fit me again (seriously, how long have those been in there?), most of the “business casual” stuff since I don’t have a day job anymore, and almost everything dressy. Also got rid of about half the sweaters, since I mostly wear zip-up fleeces now. How many black sweaters does one person actually need? I’ve gone through every drawer (SO MANY SOCKS), and now I’m slowly working my way through the closet. I could probably still get rid of about another 50% and not miss it.
Last week I had a wonderful visit from a friend I haven’t seen in a few years, and my new-ish house cleaner came and did WINDOWS, and I managed to get the tomato and eggplant plants in before they died. (The rest of the garden mostly sucks. It is going to be one of those years.)
And got major good news I can’t share yet…hopefully next Sunday.
Deborah, my DIL talked me into taking a lot of my stuff to a consignment shop. When I lived in Tucson, I did that. If she is willing to shlep the stuff there, I’m fine with it. You probably have som unique stuff that would sell.
Most of our consignment shops closed, and they tend to be picky about things being current styles. I finally just gave up and now I donate everything to my local Hospice thrift shop. At least it goes to a good cause. i got rid of LOTS of really lovely shoes, most of them hardly worn, because my feet and knees are so touchy these days. Hopefully someone is enjoying them.
Good for you. Donating is easier, too.
I mourned my pretty shoes, then gave them away.
I divested half my wardrobe when we downsized from Beverly Hills to Hawthorne and about half of what was left after lockdown / remote work transition. I still have more clothes than I wear (because of the half-a-closet full of dancewear and nonsense, plus the section of “professional drag in case of need”) but I don’t feel like it’s too much.
This week in Good Things, did the art walk with DH & sibling & her wife; went to a really nice local garden center with Mom; went out for Sunday brunch + and an afternoon of antiquing with DH; started watching Star Trek: Starfleet Academy and we are enjoying it.
Apparently Starfleet Academy didn’t have a second season ordered.
But at least we have a new season of Strange New Worlds coming up. 🙂
I am at the age, well I always was really unless I had some requirement for work attire, where I channel Diane Keaton for my wardrobe, with a little bit of Candice Bergen (who said she never wore high heels unless she was sitting down because they do terrible damage to your feet). So I’m comfortable clothes, super comfortable shoes, and whenever possible bare feet. I think the world should be happy on days I remember to moisturize. I have no fears or pretentiousness about going to the local grocery or hardware store in my old shorts. This is big because I was ashamed of my blue veined legs all my life and would never have even run to the grocery in the summer time without changing into long pants. Wear what you like. I’m really in to buying T-shirts with great designs on them. Preferably something funny and a little bit thought provoking.
I’m impressed you moisturize! That’s more than I do 🙂
I don’t like to even think about my clothes. My every day apparel is a pocket tee and boxers, with or without a houserobe. The houserobe may or may not be belted. For dress-up I wear gym shorts or sweatpants. I live in a basement and go nowhere!
I have not thrown out nor donated the stuff that fit 50 pounds ago. I really, really should.
I’ve ruthlessly (ish) purged my wardrobe a few times in recent years. It still feels like I have gobs of clothes, but I think that’s probably more a function of having not very much storage at this point. J and I share a shallow closet and a small dresser and some under-bed drawers. (By “share,” I mean I get 60-70% of the space.) Since I don’t really go anywhere except for walking/hiking and doctor’s appointments, I probably don’t really need a lot of what’s left, but I like everything I’ve kept and do wear most items from time to time.
My good things: I got my manuscript sent off yesterday, and we had a nice, one-night camping trip with our new teardrop that went perfectly smoothly! Enjoyed not getting up and down from the ground—and having actual walls around us when a couple big groups of coyotes started carrying on just down the hill from us. My lizard brain freaks out when they start howling and chattering, even if I know rationally that they’re not much of a threat…
Wow, Christine! I used to see coyotes when I walked in the desert acreage in Tucson, and we just stood and stared at each other. I felt recognized, and I think they felt safe. My dogs at that time were not aggressive, so that helped.
I’m always super excited to see ONE coyote when we’re hiking—less thrilled at the prospect of being around a whole pack of them… 😬
I’m need to prune my clothes but…I just can’t make myself do it.
Instead, I embraced my inner nerd and played my first game of Dungeons & Dragons. We invited two nerd couples over on Saturday night, hired a Dungeon Master (because it’s a thankless role), ordered in Indian food, and had an awesome time. We’re going to try it again, this time with a different Dungeon Master, to try out the different styles and see what we like. I think we’re more into the role playing than combat.
Clothes-purging is on my list now that I’m retired. It’s actually been on my list for a while, but work was definitely in the way. I’m pretty much at the point where it could all go into a dumpster and I’d be happy to see it go.
In between trips I’ve been slowly getting my house in order. I hate cleaning more than almost anything, so I take a lot of breaks. But progress is being made.
I do like the feeling of having done it—just not the actual doing of it.
Clothes-purging would be so much easier if it didn’t involve clothes-buying. It’s those coupons that come in the mail that do it for me, especially the ones with free shipping.
Congratulations on wardrobe decisions! I know I need to make them, but it’s really hard. I keep looking at stuff and saying well if I have an audition, I might want to wear this. But some of it’s ridiculous. I had to make a Dior gown for a play in 2008 and I still have it and I don’t think I can get rid of the 1890s dress I made for lady Windemere‘s fan. Cause it’s really cool and I can always wear it as a costume. And then there’s another evening gown I made this is ridiculous. I’m never gonna wear evening gowns. I need somebody to purge with me and I have someone in mind.
In good stuff. I watched the Tony awards last night. I don’t watch them for the costumes in the clothes people wear because yuck.
But I love the musical numbers. This new production of ragtime looks amazing and I really want to see two strangers carry a cake across New York City. A good example of a long title that works. I wish you all joyful moments this week
The sideboard got installed & painted, with only a couple little touches left and then the stained glass panels. That was huge progress!
This Thursday, I’ll be able to start putting things into it and thereby tidying up my bedroom and closet!
I did a major purge right after I retired. Donated most of it. I should go through the deep, dark back of my closet and drawers for the stuff I don’t wear. I’m mostly in jeans and tee-shirts or sweat shirts. And business casual for any doctors appointments and meetings-nicer jeans and layered tee-shirts and sweaters.
I took a week off from yard work except for mowing the grass/weeds/wildflowers. Wildflower meadow sounds best.
At some point this spring I realized that I should give away all my turtlenecks since I have not worn them since we moved to Maryland in 1994. I am just waiting for fall since I gather it’s better to donate at the beginning of the season in which they could be worn.
Possibly I will come to some more categorical decisions. So much easier than garment by garment !
I donated all my winter coats last year – haven’t needed them since the 1990s, its just so much warmer now.
Mainly what I have left are a big pile of clothes to be mended, because I wore them to bits and I hate shopping. Plus a big pile of clothes to worn to be donated – I found a bunch of places that will recycle textiles, but it costs money and I’ve been putting it off. Need to make a decision and just get it done!