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Well, Hell.

I didn’t do a Happiness post yesterday. I was arguing with Bob and forgot. Entirely my fault. ARGH.

How were you happy this week?

(I, personally, am covered with guilt for forgetting to think about happy things, but I actually am happy, the book is moving right along (see excerpt from Spark below) and I made mustard chicken which was delicious. Nothing but good times, people.

So really, HOW WERE YOU HAPPY THIS WEEK?

139 Responses

  1. Oh good, I am so glad to see this post go up. You know, just because you achieve a truck draft doesn’t mean you get to interact with trucks, literal or figurative!

    I got a bank reconciliation done that had been hanging fire since September, for stupid reasons beyond my control. That was enough happy for all of last week

  2. I’m happy for consumerism reasons this week, which is unlike me (I’m a cheapskate who hates to spend money). First, I got the red hoodie I’ve wanted for ages, inspired by Carol’s red coat (on the last Working Wednesday).

    Second, I got (also red) silicone replacement covers for my Pyrex storage bowls, and I’m in love. I already loved the bowls (except for the plastic lids that cracked and were hard to clean and couldn’t go in the dishwasher, but did basically work, so I put up with them), but now with the silicone lids? Love without any reservations! (If anyone’s interested, search “sophico silicone lids” at Amazon or more broadly on google. )

    And third, after finishing a whole bunch of old quilting UFOs (also happiness-inducing), I rewarded myself with a bit of a splurge on more fabric from Hancock’s of Paducah during the post-holiday clearance. Because, really, what’s the point of finishing old projects, other than to justify starting new projects? Latest finished quilt top is here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DEfuJaKy3fR/

    Okay, back to not spending money for the next few months. Which, in its own way, makes me happy.

    3. thanks for the reminder, I’ve put a set of wooden cooking utensils on my wishlist for after the move. the old plastic ones can go in the trash instead of a carton. 🙂

    4. I hope you enjoy your silicone lids as much as I do. They have drastically reduced my use of plastic wrap.

  3. Well, I for one am happy because I QUIT MY JOB at last! It was driving me crazy and getting worse all the time, and finally I just decided “what the hell? this makes no SENSE.”

    I now feel as if I have all the time in the darn world! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    6. Wow! I hope that is as satisfying as you thought it would be, and you can move on from all the angst.

      1. Thank you so much, everyone! It’s this inner feeling of “Free at last! Free at last!”

        And since the Federal government is closed (and they issue the health research contracts that I was a peon working for), no one has emailed me, no problems have come up, and I am still just sort of floating on air. 🙂

    11. I’m happy today because I got new candles and a fuzzy rug for the side of my bed. One must have a fuzzy rug especially if it’s wood floors that freeze your feet when you first wake up! I’m also very happy that I can pull my daily Tarot card and know what it means instead of having to look it up 🌅! Progress…

  4. I will put up a happy comment eventually but first – Jenny you know guilt is a useless emotion. You’re a writer. You are allowed to get lost in a plot & forget everything sometimes.

    We are all adults here. We can take care of ourselves & we love you unconditionally.

    1. Well, people tend to worry. And it’s not like the three posts I put up during the week are difficult, basically they’re all “Hey, how ya doin’?” So I should step up.

      1. It’s true we worry. But you are doing this entirely out of good will and are allowed to skip a day or two.

        We are all really good at worrying. We can take it.

      2. Actually, when reading your post, I misread “guilt” as “quilt”. I’d say this is more appropriate than the real world.
        No need for g…, no obligation to post when writing is being done imho.

      3. I will say that I worry a little less now that you live somewhere that people will notice and check on you. Only a little less, because I can worry about just about everything.

      4. I worried. Guilty as charged. Very relieved to see you’re alive and kicking and doing well. <3

      5. Jenny sssshhh don’t tell us your secrets! We’re convinced you’re putting up three entirely different posts!

  5. The Best Christmas and New Years EVER has wrapped up. 9-month-old granddaughter is back home in Poland with my son and daughter-in-law. Lots of family and friends came by for wine and food — and sledding! We babysat a lot, watching Blanka try to crawl. Also, she began to make “p” and “m” sounds. Extraordinary child. In addition, friends held solstice celebrations and holiday get togethers, and local musicians presented concerts. My heart is overflowing with thanks for the past three joy-filled weeks.

  6. My husband’s non stop coughing and inability to catch his breath turned out to be a vicious case of flu and not pneumonia. What a relief. And that was on Friday and today he is almost back to normal except for the pounds he lost which he cannot afford to do. For the first time in decades I have goldfish crackers and chocolate milk and potato chip in my cupboard.

    2. What a relief that he’s recovering! Sounds like quite the scare there. Now stuff him with delicious things so he regains his strength.

  7. The comforts of my own home. We got back from London Monday and while it was a great time I am really enjoying being home.

    Eating chewy and crunchy foods. Wednesday I have gum surgery and then I have a soft diet for a month. So I’m enjoying this while I can.

    DD should be able to complete her house purchase Friday in London. After hearing about the travails of Jane and her friends I have been very nervous about this but they exchanged right before Christmas and should be able to complete Friday. We have been helping with financing so I’m feeling somewhat constrained financially but it’s worth it.
    I’ve also been enjoying the extended vacation — I didn’t work from Dec 22 until Jan 2 and then had only two days before the weekend, and I’m taking Wednesday off (see surgery) so that’s a very relaxing schedule.

    And I keep smiling at the pile of books my kids gave me. They clearly have a lot f respect for my intellectual interests. We will see if I actually can live up to that standard but I’m happy they think so well of me.

    1. Oh, exchange is the vital thing – part of the drama now is the fact that the old gap of a month between exchange & completion has been lost, and they’re happening almost simultaneously, so there’s no commitment whatsoever until the very last minute, and you can’t make any plans. Hope it all goes smoothly for her.

    2. Sending lots of strength for the surgery tomorrow! And then healing vibes and pocket hugs to keep you company while you mend. <3

  8. Jayne Anne Krentz has a book dropping tomorrow. Loretta Chase has a book dropping on January 21. Eventually….The Honey Pot Plot.

  9. One of the littles(3years) I’m visiting speaks very high and very fast. Mostly I got the first word or two, even if I asked for a repeat. From yesterday evening, I’ve understood every word. He’s great, I’m glad to talk with him

    Yesterday we walked back from the beach in warm rain.

    And between ourselves… I am quietly very happy that this trip is almost over

    1. What happened yesterday evening, Clancy? Did your inner translator kick in? Did Little start speaking more slowly? It’s great you can understand, now.

  10. I’ve had a good, quiet week. Connected with several friends, including my teenage penfriend from Yugoslavia. And my last seasons calendar, which hadn’t arrived, has been retrieved from where the postman hid it, and is being enjoyed. I’ve been reading guidebooks to Italy and planning the trip I hope to take next year, to celebrate turning 70. Must stop soon before I overthink it & go off the idea – but I love research & planning.

  11. What made me happy is that my goddaughter came to our cottage to visit our two feet of snowfall and watch an entire marathon of Harry Potter together.

  12. What made me happy yesterday is that I met with a coach for the first day of 21 days of coaching. She’s going to help me post of social media like a professional building a brand and following. I’ve known what to do for years, I’ve had the resources for years, but it’s always been “I’m busy now; I can do that next week.” Curiously, it never happened. 😉

  13. I finished the guidebook for the new Whimsy Woods tarot and sent it off to my illustrator. (This is the first time I’ve sent the book to her before handing it in, but this deck is even more collaborative than the previous ones, so it’s good.) Making a few minor changed based on her feedback, but then it’s off to my tarot editor. Which means it is off my desk PLUS, eventually, it gets approved and I get my second half of the advance. Happy.

    But my big happy is starting work on a new Baba Yaga novella–my first fiction work in over a year. Plus it’s just something I feel like doing. No deadlines. No editor. It’s going slowly, but still making me very happy just to be doing it. Now if I could just come up with a title… (Working title is Babs and the Dragons, but that’s probably not going to stick.)

  14. Ooh Deborah just gave me an extra happy. Even if it isn’t the title Babs & the Dragons is something to look forward to – and Honey Pot Plot – and it’s now release day for JAK’s new book.

    44 days until I get out from under the realtor from hell aka black cloud Sandra. Then I will sell my house on my own & get underway to Lexington.

    I have everything I need & then some. I have some health issues I have been ignoring for far too long but I have new insurance & an appointment with a new possible Primary Care Physician on Friday.

    I am barely skimming the surface of neurographic art but the first 2 drawings were therapeutic.

    My daughter Liz followed up our pursuit of Chef Vivian Howard by making chow chow which proved to be delicious. It’s a relish you can eat with lots of things. We first ate it with pinto beans & yum!

    I think content is better than happy – more sustainable – & I am definitely content.

  15. No guilt on Tuesdays. It’s a rule.

    And I have been thinking for a while now about how happiness is intentional. Sometimes I feel floaty and disconnected, even from the things that make me happy, so I wrote out a list of them in my new Studio Ghibli day planner (which makes me happy) with the hopes that I will refer back to it when I need a reminder and do more of them. I am trying for one a day, on purpose.

    Yesterday I went to our Joann Fabrics, probably for the last time. I was hoping for canvases at a heavy discount for a wedding gift, but I missed that boat and the store is starting to get picked down to the bare bones. Still, I filled a cart with random bits and bobs and had a nice interaction with the young clerk who checked me out. I am hoping to use a lot of the craft stuff to make new and fun things for my in-person booth. I am keeping it for one more year and I want to switch the focus of it from vintage/resell to my own work. I have more plans than I have time. We will see.

    I am going to try working with paper clay this year, as a medium that is cheap, easy to make at home, and doesn’t require any extra tools. I am really looking forward to playing with it and have lists of projects that I want to make.

    2. I initially misunderstood that the young clerk checked you our…in a business kind of way.

      2. Oh, yes. Only craft chit chat. I rarely get hit on by anyone nice. Mostly they are way too old, creepy and are missing teeth. Or have neck or forehead tattoos, depending on what area of town I am in. Or too many transactions to online gambling or Only Fans on their accounts.

        Pro tip, never hit on a bank teller. They have access to pretty much your entire life.

  16. I had a great few extra days off over the Winter Break. Lots of relaxing with friends and family. LOTS of chocolate.

    I did get to the Y a few times for some strength testing. Their steam room is fabulous. I also PR’d my Deadlift by a crazy amount!

    My massage therapist finally called me back. My left hip and knee desperately need some attention before they stop working entirely.

  17. I’m happy this week because I returned to my writing project after a too long hiatus. I’m trying to adapt a book into a script. Would you ever be interested in seeing one of your stories adapted for the screen?

    1. I read a script for Agnes and the Hitman once, and that wasn’t a good experience. And there was a major movie studio about twenty years ago that wanted to buy Bet Me; the only change they wanted was that Min had to be thin. I’m not against an adaptation by any means, but I’m not optimistic that the movie they made would have any relationship to the book I wrote.

  19. I am happy that, despite a massive snow storm, my sons’ families and I had a great time on the extended weekend. It was extended even more because all flights were cancelled on Sunday, which meant I had an extra day with the Phoenix family. I had a foot of snow on my driveway, front walkway, and porch, and that much on the yard. I shoveled the porch, walkway, and part of the drive, and my son and grandson shoveled the rest of the driveway. Ten-year-old grandson had a great time, and tossed a lot of snow where it didn’t belong, but it all worked out. He needed the activity after being cooped up.

    I am very happy that none of us fell, or were hurt in car accidents. It was ice under snow, and that is treacherous. I made it to 80! We had a great dinner in a nice restaurant, and a fancy dessert at home. I received many thoughtful presents, the best of which was the “presence”of my family.

    4. Happy Birthday, Jan!

      I’m impressed at your snow shoveling. I’m not sure how bad it was outside here (on the East Coast) yesterday afternoon once the snow slowed down, but it looked nasty and I hid inside all day. By today, it seems (knock wood) that the parking lot is fairly well plowed and it won’t be hard to get my car out, not that I have anywhere to go today. I may see about clearing ice and snow off the car itself, if ice isn’t a danger for walking. And I’ll check the cluster box for mail.

      I’ve still got stamina problems, but they won’t improve without doing what exercise that I reasonably can.

    5. Happy 80th, Jan! So happy you got to have a great time with your loved ones. Best gift ever, indeed. Here’s to many more happy years and nothing but good times ahead!

    9. Happy Birthday, Jan

      In a few weeks I’ll be joining you in the eighties club, I remember way back in the early days of television there was a show on with the title Life Begins at Eighty. The sponsor was Geritol. Now that I am there I wonder if it still being sold. I just know that you have to keep moving. And if we get any snow I hope it’s the soft fluffy kind so it can be swept.

  21. Uh, Jenny, there’s a photo of a tasty-looking, oniony casserole below your words on the post. What is that about?

        1. It does look delicious! I searched for “easy mustard chicken recipe” and found a few possibilities. Is it just mustard and herbs topped with onion? I’m not a by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of cook. I need something to follow, esp. because I’ll worry about undercooking.

          My happy is my 16.5 yo cat doing well on the palliative care we decided on. If only he hadn’t turned against the pill pockets he used to love. Now if I can just keep him from waking me up every couple of hours–literally.

          2. My constantly health-challenged guy used to eat pill pockets without an issue, and just stopped with the latest round of prednisone. But I discovered that if I put the pill in, and just placed the pill pocket on top of his food, he’d eat it. You might want to try that.

    2. That was proof I actually made the mustard chicken.

      It’s really easy or I wouldn’t make it. You get an 8 oz jar of Dijon and put half of it in a bowl. Then you throw into both the jar and the bowl some Worcestershire, garlic powder, and grated Parm and stir it all up. Put the lid on the jar and put it back in the fridge for the next week’s mustard chicken. Pat chicken thighs dry, put on a sheet pan skin side down, paint on half the mustard. Flip over skin side up, paint on the rest of the mustard. Slice up some onion, scatter it on top. Sprinkle more parm. Bake 40 minutes at 400. Freeze half so you can have chicken sandwiches whenever you want them. Also good: sliced potatoes underneath the chicken. Or chopped up for stir fry. Or sliced for pasta. Basically, Easy Chicken.

      1. Thank you, Jenny!
        And thanks Deborah Blake for the suggestion with the pill pockets, but I’ve tried them empty, with his treats, with food, without food . . . I’m going to try a different flavor. Really hoping to get us both on a better sleep schedule.

  22. I echo above – no need for guilt here. I know that I personally can take on guilt in a heartbeat, but it isn’t good for me. I’m trying to learn how to leave it behind.

    My happy this week is anticipating our 10 year anniversary. We will be taking the day off and plan on some relaxing activities, followed by a lovely dinner somewhere. And according to the forecast, we might get some snow too. A little bit would be lovely, especially without any other obligations.

  23. One thing that makes me happy is reading and then writing about it. I had the below written up and ready to post (in slightly different form) for Sunday as soon as the topic opened. When it didn’t, I worried that Jenny and Bob might be working hard, and so close to releasing HPP as to make revisions soon impossible, so I emailed Bob, who was listed in VNF as the point of contact for comments. But in case Bob is working too hard to read his email, I repeat them here. As I said in the email, “For all I know you have already addressed them or they have become irrelevant in the current rewrite, but I present them for whatever it’s worth”:

    >>I finished rereading VNF at a reasonable pace after racing through it the first time.  It was a positive experience,  but  some small snags  occurred to me when I got to the teaser from HPP. 

    I wondered why Max, with all his training, a knife, and no doubt some spare cord, had decided to snow-plow through two feet of snow rather than to improvise snowshoes from small branches, bark, or whatever else was at hand.  I vaguely recalled having improvised snowshoes myself as a child, although from stuff to be found in civilization.  The internet yielded multiple sites showing how improvise snowshoes in the wilderness.  Max evidently doesn’t have internet at the moment, but he has survival training and might even be carrying some sort of survival manual including directions for snowshoes.  Then I wondered why the assassins, who evidently had joined the trail after the snowfall and presumably had been following the weather news and news about the Trail, had failed to bring snowshoes along.  If they had them, they should be making better time than Max could make without shoes, something he would have realized as he saw them approach.  This all could be fixed in the final version pretty quickly, either with rationalization for what’s there now or by depicting Max as having improvised snowshoes after he passed I-40, when the snow started to get deep enough to impede travel. 

    Another problematic point (with two aspects, one involving equipment and one involving plot consistency) arises because at the end of VNF, Max has already texted Rose that he’d be back not only for Maggie, but for Rose.  Since he’s moving out of cellphone range, presumably by the time of the texting in HPP, either the Ferrells somehow arranged a relay from Max’s satphone to Rose’s cellphone (which I don’t think could be done securely without giving Rose a special secure phone) or they gave her a separate satphone to communicate with Max’s. This is not explained in Rose’s scene in the HPP teaser.  It could be done later, but it would only need a word in the scene in the sample to show that Rose was now using a satphone. Anyhow, the consistency point is that while it’s true by Max’s scene in HPP he could have told Rose before he even left that he’d be back , he didn’t just  “now … realize” that, since by then he’d already texted her to say so.

  24. Shouldn’t feel guilty for missing a couple of days, I’m incredibly happy that you interact with us readers, gives insight as to how yourself and Bob work together bring such excellent novels. As for happiness, I have finally found the name and books of a novelist I read many many years ago, it’s been eluding me for at least the last 10 years. And that led to the happiness of replacing books I lost 10 years ago or more. It’s all about the books.

  25. Happiness was getting all my non-wedding 2001 photos scanned into the digital archive and thus reminding myself of everything we did that year aside from get married. 🙂

    Also dinner out, on Saturday, with a friend we rarely see, at an excellent Persian restaurant in Glendale. (Raffi’s Place, recommended if you’re ever in town!)

  26. Happier today than yesterday or Sunday, when I was engaging in existential angst, so I’m glad the post was late!
    Settling back into work, not loving it, but so far managing to stick to my resolution (made before Christmas so it’s not a New Year one) of not complaining about it.

    1. I too struggle with existential angst, particularly on Sundays. I think that on Saturday I am still too tired from the week and there are still errands to run and some fun things to do, but my town shuts down on Sunday and I am left with too much white noise in my head and nothing but unfun chores that need to happen before Monday… Sigh.

  27. Lots of little things made me happy this week: lovely phone conversations with our sons top the list. But also putting away all the Christmas stuff and finding that all our Swedish Death Cleaning efforts of the last year paid off — lots of room in the attic now — and it was fun to put the Xmas stuff back up there. This happy was a double one cause it is also so satisfying to have the house back to “normal” again!
    Starting a new knitting project — a scarf with an Escher design — also made me happy. It involves double knitting which is not my favorite but I know it is going to be a very rewarding project if I persevere.
    And finally Ari Baran’s new book is out. I won’t read it immediately (I tend to hoard things I look forward to..) but it makes me happy to know it is there for the reading when I’m ready!

  28. I’ve been amusing myself by watching self-made videos of cooking recipes and life hacks along with the videos of the Hu Family of China. It’s from the Internet of course where I get all my information. That’s where I watched video after video of Christmas Crack until I made some myself. Incidentally it is good stuff. Over the weekend I watched a video of storing ground beef in the freezer by flattening it out in a zip lock bag and sectioning it into squares that are just broken off as needed. You know of course that is going to land at the bottom of the freezer where several months from now I’ll wonder what the heck is that. Now if I had a top side freezer, I could slap it on the ceiling with some kind of tape and know where it is at all times. So, yesterday I did go to the grocery store only because the idea of it stayed in my mind and they had ground beef on sale. Came home and made hamburg patties and a meatloaf and with the rest I couldn’t help myself and put the leftover meat in a bag and used a rolling pin to flatten it. It’s January people the winter doldrums are just beginning.

  29. I find it so very hard to recognize the happy bits in life.
    Especially when the main present I took from the family brunch meeting on Saturday is a nasty cold with wet cough (thanks to the restaurant giving us the worst table in the whole area – near the gliding doors = drafts of ice cold air; we only stayed for coffee and relocated to a nicer one but the harm was done). And the news frighten me more than ever with the political shifts to the extrem right almost everywhere.

    Also, I really I HAVE to get off Social Media or find alternatives to instagram (Zuckerberg). The comment sections are getting more and more vicious.
    Yet insta is the main channel of communication and information with the kids, friends, my fav hockey teams and so many of my fav authors.

    Is there any alternative? Owned by someone other than Trump supporters?

    Very sorry to be unable to see much happy these days.

    2. This is the worst season, right now, Dodo. Do get off social media, if you can. Or skip the nasty stuff. I read headlines, and any article that is not political, that interests me. I hope you can find a solution, and feel better.

    3. Dodo, have you looked at BlueSky as a social media alternative? As you may surmise from the name, it has a very liberal leaning.

      I also opened an account on Cara this year, which is focused on artist and art portfolios while trying to keep out AI generated art. From an engagement standpoint, I have been doing a lot better on Cara, but I haven’t been devoting a lot of time to either.

      It’s a difficult, double edged sword of trying to limit my scrolling time, which has a tendency to eat up my valuable downtime, and doing enough to try to build a following and generate attention and traffic to my etsy shops and other artistic endeavors.

      I’m sorry you are struggling. I am too. It’s hard to be hopeful right now. I feel like I should be bracing for incoming attacks, but it is so hard to prepare for the looming unknown. I saw something on the internet that said “if you can’t have hope, have spite,” which I can live with for now. And I am planning to hedonistically enjoy every single thing that I can in the coming years because if I despair, then evil wins.

      Take care.

    4. I still enjoy Instagram, but I’m only following interesting gardeners & photographers, plus people I know. I don’t look at comments usually, but when I do they’re friendly. I don’t use the Instagram app, and object immediately to any ads/‘sponsored posts’, which usually blocks them for several weeks at a time.

      Maybe if you don’t look at comments, or stop following anyone that attracts unpleasant ones? (I don’t know whether they can block them?)

    5. I really like Bluesky, and, for me, it’s replaced Instagram for quilt inspiration, but there are still a few accounts at Instagram that I’m not ready to give up, but don’t have Bsky accounts. I really like the way I can create my own feeds at Bsky, like #quiltsky, and pop in and out, without necessarily having it in my main feed. It means I only see what I want to see, not things that will raise my blood pressure, but I can also go to more upsetting topics (news and politics) by way of an easy search if I’m in the mood for it. Also, no ads and really really good blocking tools, although I still have to spend some time monitoring who follows me (so I can block the engagement farmers, who are pretty easy to spot and nuke) to help keep the noise down.

      After the announcement today that fact-checking is apparently unfair to liars in the Meta-verse, I would dearly love to delete both FB and IG, but they’re both important for me to keep in touch with my rare-patient community. Not sure what to do about that. I’m inclined toward simply not providing any content to them, while retaining them for messaging people. I dunno. Still thinking. May depend on how much of a cesspool they become.

      1. I have been thinking about deleting as well, but I manage pages for the local arts school and I guess I like to have a window into what is going on, even if I don’t like it. Plus, if we all leave, then those who stay may get an even more warped perspective of the world. So, I am going to try to be a voice of contention. I am also practicing kicking down sand castles, proverbially, because I don’t like conflict. Hence, I will try to get better at it.

      2. Thanks to all of you!!

        I’ll definitely check out Bluesky as alternative for instagram.
        I usually try to stay away from the news (since only bad news is deemed successful news), try to limit what I consume on Social Media, but LinkedIn is necessary for work and insta for keeping in touch with what the kids are confronted who will most likely not quit insta. Same with Whatsapp which is the main platform of e-communication.
        I usually also keep a tab on looking at comments. And limit my own comments to encouraging ones or praise sent to the authours whose books I read and loved.

        Looking at the news (sometimes unintentionally when I open my e-mail server and the headlines bombard me) is really really bad for my mental health. And having learnt in school (taught be very good teachers) about how centuries horrors developed, it’s frightening that humanity just never opts for the good of us all.

  30. I have internet back for the first time since Sunday before the snow got bad. I have not yet lost electricity. Very grateful for that although it probably won’t last through the extreme cold and more snow by the end of the week. Internet is still very slow so I will catch up later.

  31. The first time I read this post, I was too unhappy to post, but I’ve decided that perhaps one of you smart people can help me think up a way to deal with my medical misadventures. Yesterday I called my sister and asked her for the name of the doctor who had done her hand surgeries because my fingers have been locking and I have been having pains in both hands. I called them yesterday and after 45 minutes on hold and being redirected they told me that the first available opening was on May 22, unless I could get to an office in the next county. When I told them I didn’t have a car, they suggested I take an Uber, which I estimate would cost me up to $100 round trip. After that, I made the appointment and gave them all my medical information. My sister called them later that day and was offered an appointment a week later than mine because her surgery was 3 years ago and thus she now was classified as a new patient. Last night I called her to compare experiences and then went to bed. After I got up this morning, I checked my messages and found one from my sister’s doctor’s office saying that because my primary care physician was employed by a different hospital, they were cancelling my appointment.

    I had hand surgery a few years ago at the hospital where I get the bulk of my treatment and did not want to repeat the experience. There was a more generalized surgeon who my internist recommended at that time but the department switched me to another doctor (Dr. Oblivious) who was going to specialize in hands. Today I was able to remember the name of the surgeon who they wouldn’t let me use the first time and called to schedule an appointment. I was then told that he was in a different department now and no longer worked on hands. When I tried to make an appointment with a doctor who did work on hands, I was told that first they would have to get me released from the service of Dr. Oblivious and they would call me back in 2-4 days.

    I also lost my Free Ride transit ID and now have to find out how to get a new one. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only can I not ride for free, but I can’t access the senior half fare that I am entitled to without it.

    1. That sounds really tough. Not surprised you are feeling down. Hands are so important.

      I don’t have any useful advice about navigating the health system as I’m not in the US. Be extra nice to yourself while things are hard and do all the things that make you feel good. And keep plugging away trying to find a surgeon.

    3. My first comment was actually for dodo. I must not have pushed something. I am so sorry you’re having that much trouble and I know how frustrating it is. You might try going to the urgent care in your area sometimes that’s the best way to make things happen. When I had heart pains, my doctor told me that he wanted me to go to emergency because they would get the scans that I needed it done much faster. And it was true annoying because I didn’t wanna go to emergency but true and I’m so sorry about your car and ID situation. That’s really awful. I’m praying for a solution for you.

    4. Ignorant foreigner here, but might your GP have an up-to-date recommendation? Also, is there by any chance a local patient transport service for older/low-income people? (I think there are a couple of possibilities here, though I haven’t needed to try them yet.)

      1. My GP is one of the doctors I want to replace; any time I’ve asked him for a referral, he has had no answers. I do not need the van service that the regional transit authority runs at this time and the identification for that is done by the same agency that issues the IDs like the one I lost. It is also a lot slower and less on time than the regularly scheduled service and you need a doctor’s certification for that ID. So I am better off sticking to the regularly scheduled service while I can. I just need to get downtown tomorrow and submit an application to start the replacement process.

        As for speeding up the hand surgery process, I plan to call the patient assistance department tomorrow. But I have never heard of needing one doctor’s approval to switch to another if you are not part of a managed care plan. Particularly when you haven’t seen the first one in several years. The part that gets to me the most is that the hand doctor who cancelled my appointment has operated on my sister twice despite the fact that her primary care physician doesn’t work for that hospital. either. The only good news is that she managed to get her appointment moved up to the end of February ( which is very good news because she cannot close her hand fully and has been dropping things all over the place.)

    5. I’m so sorry. No particularly good suggestions. I’m about to deal with something similar (carpal tunnel in my dominant hand), but have so much PTSD related to past medical treatment (or lack thereof) and dealing with new-to-me health care providers that I’m resisting doing anything about it.

      My only advice is to be persistent. (And yes, I know it’s hard to do, because the frustration makes you want to just give up. So get upset, wallow in it for a bit, and then do it anyway!) Mark your calendar to follow up in 5 days to see if Dr. Oblivious is off the case, and if not, contact Dr. Oblivious’s office and tell them you’re changing, and need Dr. O to release you, and it’s an emergency, because you can’t make another appt that you desperately need to make or you’ll have to go to the emergency room. Then, see if the new office will put you on a cancellation list, so you can take an appt that someone else cancels (but make the further-out appt too, just in case). I got lucky with a cancellation for my second cataract surgery, so it does happen. Of course, the cancellation option is a challenge if you don’t have reliable transportation, but it’s worth asking anyway. If they offer you a cancellation slot, and you can’t arrange a ride, you can always say you don’t have transportation and stick to the original appt.

      I wonder if there’s anyone at your insurance company who can help. I remember that at some point when my primary care provider left the practice, I had to call the insurance company to designate his successor before anyone could make an appointment with the new PCP. I wonder if something similar is going on with Dr. Oblivious, and if you tell the insurer that you refuse to ever see Dr. O again, and you want to see the new office (and presumably that the new doc is within network or whatever restrictions the insurer has), the insurance rep can make it happen. Some insurers have case-management type reps, so maybe they could help. Hard to say whether it would help to be able to talk it over with someone who understands how it works, or whether it would just raise the frustration level. Perhaps be prepared to warn (nicely of course, so it doesn’t sound like a threat) the insurer that if you can’t get some relief soon, you’re going to end up in the emergency room, and no one wants that! Talk about how it’s interfering with daily activities, more than about pain levels, because if you talk about pain levels, too many health care professionals will assume you’re drug-seeking. But if you can explain that you can’t hold a cane or feed yourself or open a jar or open the house door (or whatever), they’re more likely to pay attention.

      No experience with the Free Ride ID, so can’t help there, other than to say I’m sorry. Not an auspicious start to the year for you! I do hope it gets better.

      1. Excellent advice, Gin. The cancellation list came through for me twice! And I got lucky with an insurance person, who was able to unsnafu a bottleneck in getting a procedure done.

      2. Since I do not have any private insurance, I can’t ask them to throw their weight around. The new doc and the hand surgeon I want to avoid both work for the same hospital, which, I assume, is the source of the asinine rule about being released by one doctor before I can make an appointment with another. Since I will be going downtown to fill out the application for my replacement transit ID, I think I will swing by the hospital on my way home. I’d like to say that things have to get better, but I’m afraid that might be tempting fate. I’ll also call lost and found to check whether my ID was turned in. That would save a lot of trouble if the CTA has it.

      3. Good news! My ID was turned in to the Lost and Found at the bus garage and I picked it up today. Unfortunately, when I tried to use it on the ride home, it didn’t work. I think I asked them to turn it off when I reported it missing. The bus driver let me ride free, which I appreciated. Tomorrow I will have to call the Regional Transit Authority and see if they can reactivate it.

    6. I hope you can persevere until you find the right person to help you. It takes being stubborn, and calling, and calling back. You have a good backbone, and you can do it. I understand your fear of repeating a bad experience, and the horrible prospect of feeling pain day after day. It seems like the system has no empathy. How cruel, to make you wait till May 22!! Sending you warm hugs.

  32. It snowed. It stuck. Here in southeast Virginia (and any state further south), an inch of snow is sufficient to close schools and some businesses. Having been raised and/or stationed in New Wingland for many years, I scoff at such light dustings.

    OTOH, I rarely venture out in it myself. For my happies, I farm indoors, as I have often mentioned. My . January 2025 Farm Report has been posted. It made me happy. 🙂

    1. Gary – I envy your green tomatoes. My “dotter” just made chow chow* which calls for green tomatoes & we substituted tomatillo because we couldn’t find green tomatoes.

      *chow chow is delicious relish which originally came out of Appalachian hollers. We ate it first with pinto beans.

      1. Is Chow Chow the same as picalily? My grandmother and mother often made it with green tomatoes.

  33. I know I had a bunch of things I was gonna mention in the Happiness-post, but… I can’t remember them now.
    I’m settling for that I’m very happy to see that Jenny is doing well and is kicking Bob’s rear with all her might. That makes me happy. 🙂

  34. Any interplay you share between you and Bob is a joy. I had a wonderful after Christmas week in Texas with my in-laws. We are in opposite political spectrums. Jane tried to keep figuring out why I thought the way I did. I made an equal attempt to figure out why she thought the way she did. Her brother, my husband is in my realm political thought. Her other brother thinks Barry, my wasband, is a communist.
    We finally agreed that we could each share the same word and it means something different to each of us. We also agreed that both of us wanted what was best for the country but we didn’t agree on the means. Further agreement is no matter what happened we were all still gonna love each other. My son Jim, and his fiancé Nikki and daughter Ella drove from Michigan to see Barry and Me and everybody. We had a wonderful time. Went to Barry’s for New Year’s Day and ended up watching the first movie of to be or not to be which was Jack Benny and Carol Lombard.
    I got home Tuesday night, played with my other grandchildren on Wednesday and I’m gradually getting things back in order. Still have Christmas up, but I never take it down till after Twelfth Night
    Sending thoughts of joy, abundance, and healing to all of you. Don’t watch the news. It’s too scary and watching it changes nothing.

    1. I agree with not watching the news. It’s stressful just trying to figure out who’s lying and how much.
      But I do think chacha1 makes a valid point that we should all keep at our legislators to defend the separation of church & state.

  35. I’m back inside after having made it out to the cluster box to check the mail. The route to the box is now relatively free of ice and snow. Either came nothing for me yesterday or today, or nothing yesterday (and maybe no mail delivery during the storm) and no mail delivery yet today. (Unfortunately I don’t have a good line of sight in that direction. ) I’ll have a last try later. This afternoon it warmed up to around freezing, but the wind chill outside proved to be ferocious, so I postponed clearing off the car. Unfortunately, it looks from the forecast as if the wind and relative cold will be around for days yet. Still, I have no urgent reason to drive anywhere until Saturday. (Yes, I’ve lived for years in colder regions, but whenever I was of an age to drive while there, I had a garage to keep the car in!)

    2. I read in the newspaper today (yes an actual newspaper) that Thursday there will not be any mail service as part of the national day of mourning for former President Carter. Is that something new I was not aware that there would be any closures. I live in Massachusetts.

  36. Deepest sympathies to all of you who are dealing with snowstorms, but it’s summer holidays here, and I’ve just cleaned up the space outside my back door and potted some flowers so I can sit out there in the sun and eat breakfast every morning. The weather is pretty close to perfect (though it will probably change in an hour or so, because it’s Tasmania), no one’s wanting anything from me, and I have a new kids’ book brewing from an idea that makes me laugh.

  37. Lian, I can somewhat contain envy since I know Tasmania is about the one populated place in Oz that gets snow in Southern Hemisphere winter (although I gather not a lot except at high altitude).

    1. Not the only place, Patrick, some of the higher towns and villages in Vic and NSW also get snow in winter. But yes, we get most of it. Not so much where I live, by the coast. Here, it snows maybe every four or five years, and we get very excited if it settles for more than 5 minutes!

About the Author

Jennifer Crusie is the New York Times, USA Today, and Publisher’s Weekly bestselling author and co-author of twenty-three novels, one book of literary criticism, miscellaneous articles, essays, novellas, and short stories, and the editor of three essay anthologies. She lives in a cottage in Pennsylvania, where she often stares at the ceiling and counts her blessings.

Find out more about Jenny’s published works by visiting JennyCrusie.com

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