I had a meltdown this week, and Bob, in mopping up the mess, told me to take a long weekend off. So I started reading the Moist Von Lipwig books by Terry Pratchett, starting with Going Postal, one of the finest books ever written. (How good was Pratchett? Going Postal was published in 2004 and has this line it it: ““What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.”) I was cheered up considerably by Moist (“Hi, I’m Moist”) and the chain-smoking Adora Belle Dearhart, whom Moist courts with ““I’d like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart… well, certainly hanky, and possibly panky when we get to know one another better.” That’s a smooth talker.
After Postal, I kept going into Making Money, not as good as Going Postal, but still better than 99% of the novels in print, including Moby Dick and Anna Karenina. For one thing, the Moist novels have Lord Vetinari, the tyrant, who tells Moist, “The city bleeds, Mr. Lipwig, and you are the clot it needs.” For another, Money has a dog in it, the annoying Mr. Fusspot who owns a bank and who also owns Moist, who will be killed if Mr. Fusspot dies (Mr. Fusspot has many greedy enemies who will inherit if he goes down); in the meantime, Moist is in charge of finance for the entire city, which leads to thoughts like ““You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.”
But it also gave me perspective on my current conundrum, which is, in brief, “Bob’s doing great work here but my part sucks, I’ve lost it, why did I ever think I could write, I should just eat worms and die.” Yeah, depression is not a good muse. But then I hit a line in Money that made me think. I want every book I write to be better, swing wider, go deeper, even if it’s only in my imagination. I don’t ever want to write the same book twice. Kind of the way Moist feels about swindlers (he’s a con man which is why he could save the post office and the banking system and whatever it is he saves in the last Moist book):
“I wonder if it’s like this for mountain climbers, he thought. You climb bigger and bigger mountains and you know that one day one of them is going to be just that bit too steep. But you go on doing it, because it’s so-o good when you breathe the air up there. And you know you’ll die falling.”
And he’s right. Someday I’ll die falling from a fictional height I can’t reach. But today is not that day. I can do this. For one thing, I’m roped to Bob, and he’s not falling off of anything. For another, I have Terry Pratchett as a sherpa.
I have one more Moist book to read–Raising Steam–one I’ve never read because Pratchett is gone now and there won’t be any more new Pratchetts. I’ve been saving it, but the time to be happy is now. So thanks to Bob and Terry, I’m going to eat brownies and live. And read and write.
What made you happy this week?
90 Responses
Glad you’ve got good stories to holiday in. I’m happy that I’ve completed the moving-everything-around stage of my big workroom sort-out. It feels great to have it set up for creative stuff rather than the old day job. (I’ve still got to sort my filing system, photography equipment, heaps of photographs, etc., but it’s amazing and satisfying to have reorganized and cleared the space.)
I’ve also been connecting with friends, including having a couple of film nights (shared supper & then watch something I’ve recorded); and I’m about to join my friend Sue’s family in Shrewsbury, where they’re celebrating her brother’s 70th. Sue’s coming back with me tomorrow to stay for a few days. And it’s turning milder: no more black ice, and hopefully the temperature in my kitchen will be above 7C when I come down in the morning.
Lots of baking for breakfast! At least the dishpan won’t be frozen. I was so glad I did not share the place where friends of mine lived where the kitchen got cold enough for anything left damp to have ice on it in the morning.
That beats me. Reminds me of the ice on the inside of my bedroom window when i was a child.
DS and I went to a PWHL (women’s professional league) game. This was my 2023 Christmas gift – better late than never. It was lots of fun and I enjoyed spending time with him. Our team lost but it was great lots of very enthusiastic fans, including lots of young girls, cheering on the team.
I did 2x 30 second bar hangs without my feet on the ground at the gym this week. This is a big personal accomplishment as when I started a month ago, doing these with my feet on the ground was hard on my arms and upper back. I’m only going to the gym twice a week but I’m already seeing results. I like that I can challenge myself with various parts of the workout and see tangible results.
Saw Wicked with my knitting group. I was not as enamoured of it as my friends but there were lots of great singing and dancing and it was fun to see it as a group.
Good for you! I feel your bar hang pain.
I had a wonderful holiday with family and a week babysitting grand children. My big happy is I got a Tango lesson while in Argentina. It was so much fun and included time at a local dance club. The talent, the skill, the shoes! It was amazing.
The bad news is the messy weather in Atlanta caused my flight home to be canceled and I am here for a few more days. Fingers crossed they get things sorted and I can go home tomorrow.
At least I am with family and not stranded at an airport but it has been three weeks and I miss my bed and my dog.
I’m sorry you are stranded and I hope you have a safe and speedy journey home, but until then…. TELL US MORE ABOUT THE SHOES!!! Asking for a friend 😉
Oh, Lupe! Of course you want to hear about the shoes. I’m a little curious, myself, since they rated a comment from Phred.
I admit I love shoes and own far too many.
That said, the best thing about the dance shoes were all the colors, for both men and women. Many of the men wore something similar to a saddle shoe. There was a light teal pair that was divine.
My favorite women’s shoe looked similar to a Victorian boot with a three inch heel. Many glittered with a complicated system of straps. One pair was an iridescent royal blue. Many were obviously specific dance Tango shoe. No street shoe that looked that delicate would be able to stand up to how they pushed against the floor at such odd angles.
Sigh. I love vintage inspired shoes. The 40s and 50s had the most gorgeous silhouettes. Thanks for indulging me! Why are shoes so much more fun than other types of clothing?
Lupe, budget warning:
Do you know of the
American duchess brand modeled on vintage shoes? I bought their Gibson shoes for DDs wedding and am lusting after their Jessie even though I have neither a dress nor an event to go with them.
Oh Lupe definitely knows about the American Duchess brand of shoes.
To my shame. I also follow and drool over several other vintage reproduction brands. Saint Savoy, for example. I just haven’t made the plunge yet.
I read RAISING STEAM when it came out, but I read it slowly and savored it. Pratchett loved the engineers of the world. They’re some of my favorite characters in his books.
I just recently found a new-to-me Pratchett at work: NATION, published in 2008. It’s a YA book and it’s not part of the Disc World series. I read it very slowly indeed.
I love NATION. It’s my favorite Pratchett book that isn’t Discworld.
I just asked my son what his favorite Terry Pratchett is, thinking he would say nation, and he promptly wrote back “I’ve got 10.”
And rattled them off.
That’s a great author.
Nation is on the list .
DS says he thinks Pratchett said Nation was his best.
I think Nation has the most heart of his books.
Yes, I read that somewhere, too!
My happy this week revolved around celebrating our anniversary with DH. We took the day off (and told ourselves no computers, which meant we both snuck in and did work before 8:30 and then stopped for the day). We had a couples massage, did some shopping, vegetated for the afternoon before heading out for an early dinner. The messy weather that kept Phred from home slid in here about 4 pm. It did keep the line that usually forms outside the nice steakhouse we chose from getting out of hand. We dined, we laughed, we got complimentary cheesecake, we drove home (carefully) and collapsed. It turns out relaxing this hard is very tiring! Anyway, happy 10th (plus 13) years!
Happy anniversary! So were you together for 13 years before you actually got married?
Yes Deb. Dating, not living together. Its a long story, but we finally got around to it.
It’s funny how ideas seem to echo here. After reading a book that I really liked to begin the year, (Nightmare before Kissmas) I have been thinking that I should read all the books that I have been saving. Last year I read a lot of throw aways because I never seemed to be in the right mood for one I was fairly certain I would like. It sounds counterproductive, I know.
This year I want to hit somewhere between hygge and hedonism, first noticing and then wallowing and rejoicing in the things that make me happy. Sometimes it feels like I don’t remember what those are. So now I am trying to do one consciously every day, and think about it before I go to bed. I am still working on making it into a habit.
And on that note, I decided to stop waiting for the audio book of Alexandra Rowland’s Yield Under Great Persuasion and I am so glad I did, because it’s wonderful, and full of the themes I am trying to work on now. It’s funny how the right books find you when you need them.
I got important things done, starting last week: W2s and 1099s submitted and sent out, year end federal unemployment report done, Michigan year end report submitted with W2 files uploaded. After a disappointingly fractious first day back last week, boss and ended this week cordial and working well together, so that’s great. Got some good done with/for dear sister, with two more days this week scheduled to do projects with her, so that’s even greater.
About to start annual period of virtue eating, so particularly mindful of enjoying the treats I ate this week. The diet is almost worth it just for the mindfulness it engenders on both sides of it.
Gary’s Murderbot reread inspired me to read the last one again. I am liking it better this time since I am not trying to figure out what is being hinted at. And as I said to DH this morning, any MB is better than no MB.
I think that I will like the latest Murderbot better when the next one is out. It’s very much a transition story for me, like Fugitive Telemetry, which I didn’t like the first time through, but then read it in chronological order rather than written order. As you say, once you get past trying to figure out what will happen you can catch more nuance in the character growth. I’m thinking that Wells felt the need to deal with Murderbot’s PTSD but didn’t want it in the context of the next big adventure.
Brownies!!! They are the cure for everything. I hope they work their magic on you, Jenny.
I am rejoicing that we have not had any snow for two full days, and there is none in the forecast. There is still a lot of it on the ground, but temperatures in the afternoons today, and Thursday and Friday, will be above freezing, and most of it could melt. My back has hurt since the first big snow. I’m hoping no more shoveling will allow it to mellow out. Streets are mostly clear, and there has been sun for four days! Sun!! I open the front door, say “Sun!!!”, and my black cat comes running to sit on the stand next to the door and soak it up. The simple joys of being a cat.
Ha! As you were posting your happiness about no snow, I was posting mine at the joy of the first real snow in years! I’d probably share your view if we saw snow more often here… 🙂
The first “real” snowfall in years made me happy this week — despite all the shoveling that ensued. I love watching the sun shining on sparkling snow.
The thing that is making me happy today is organizing and packing for my upcoming birding trip to cold and isolated areas of the Pacific Northwest looking for birds I’ve never seen before to add to my life list. I enjoy the organizing my camera equipment and cold-weather clothing part of it (I am not usually particularly organized,) but in particular I’m happy about the the building anticipation of birding in a mostly new-to-me-area of the country.
I’m on the edge of a breakdown myself, Jenny, so you have all my sympathy. My happies have mostly been small things, like a day when the sun came out (even if it was still cold and snowy), and a couple of days when the combination of massage and acupuncture reduced the headache I’ve had since Thanksgiving. It came back full force again not long after, but it was nice to have a bit of a break. An online chat with a group of creative folks I belong to, led by author Allie Larkin. I’m trying to do a bunch of adulting things and getting thwarted, which is frustrating, but at least I’m finally tackling them. Finished writing up the new intermediate tarot class, which I’m giving on the 20th, so at least that’s done.
I might order some more chocolate from L.A. Burdick. Because winter and pain and depression. It’s medicinal, right?
I’m sorry about the persistent pain, Deborah. I have chronic back pain and know what you mean about the benefit of massage, be it ever so briefly.
Burdicks is medicinal. I am using it —the box DS bought me and the hot chocolate mix—to get me through my month of soft foods due to gum surgery.
Ouch!! Heal fast!
I’m not sure that there’s anything in particular; I just felt fairly happy this week.
Sage Accounting had a major update issue, so I couldn’t do the update which means that payroll Monday would be inaccurate, but I shrugged my shoulders and thought, oh well. Stressful, but out of my control, so why bother stressing?
The good news is that they released a patch for the update on Friday morning, and so far the feedback is good, so tomorrow I get to install the update, the patch (it has to work or two of our retail companies won’t function at all), and do payroll, which is super stressful and may be a long day, but then it will be over, so there’s that.
I worked out well this week, with appropriate days off. That feels good.
I walked the dog every day no matter the weather, and that made her happy.
Walking Oixie makes her ecstatic and me less grumpy.
That’s Pixie, not Oixie. She’ll forgive the misspelling if I give her a treat.
Oh Jenny I hate depression for you! And as far as your writing is concerned- depression is a big liar. (Quoting the Bloggess who suffers debilitating depression & still manages to write the funniest books.)
Truth; you, Jennifer Crusie, are a wonderful writer. And I’m so glad you have Bob.
As for my happy – I found a new primary care physician & I love her already!
Now for more happy – I worked all night & I’m about to go to sleep.
Congratulations on the new Doc!!
I love GBT posts and chatter. Last week’s post, and this one, had many comments about Brat Farrar. I don’t think I’d ever heard of this book before. On Thursday evening, I was waiting for a train at London Paddington and browsing through the comments on GBT. The train arrived, I got on, and the first thing I saw was someone with a copy of Brat Farrar. This made me smile. I wonder, was it one of you?
I’ve been writing the epilogue of The Honey Pot Plot which is delivered by the spirit of Little Melvin over the smoldering remains of Rocky Start.
You know, that sounds remarkably similar to the last episode of Buffy.
Smoldering remains?? ARGH!!!
Ha! We know that’s not true. Jenny would never put her name on a book with an epilogue. Cringe!
Actually, Bet Me has an epilogue, but it’s very positive and fun.
I only have it on Kindle & it ends with Chapter 17. Maybe there is an epilogue in the paper or hardback but Jenny is on record as hating prologues & epilogues.
Hahahaha
Like Leslie Jordan used to say in a gorgeous southern accent “Well Shit”!
Depression does suck.
I have been trying to see the achievement of living the best day I can today. Easier said than done.
My happy this snowstorm week was to receive two best friends who came to visit and they got along famously, bonus! I shared my DH bourbon, which made up for friend’s stunted bourbon trail.
My main happy is that noise and chaos of the roof replacement (which turned into roof AND skylight replacement, and boy, are skylights expensive!) is on pause due to snow, so I was able to get a good night’s sleep Friday (and again last night), so I can do stuff. Related to that, I’m thrilled to have finally finished the rough draft of the Helen Binney novella, and I celebrated with five or six hours of quiltmaking and completed piecing two more lap quilts from a collection of old nine-patch and Monkey Wrench blocks, with one more laid out and ready to stitch together.
I haven’t heard as much medical advice about seasonal depression as a few years back, but in the day the top advice was always exposure to daylight, saying that even 45 minutes or less outside on a cloudy day might be enough. A little recent internet browsing suggests that even letting in sunlight through the window may help.
Given the recent weather in much of the country (cold, often cloudy, plus snow and ice to impede movement outside), that may be promoting downer feelings. It seems that vitamin D may help too in some cases. Beyond that, it seems we get into stuff like light boxes and medications. I don’t seem to have major symptoms myself, but I’m going to try to be more regular about the vitamin D my doctor had recommended for other reasons and about seeing if I can work on more outdoor exposure.
I put an aerogarden with its full spectrum light where it will be in my field of vision for a lot of the day, and between the light and the plants, I think it does help…
I use a light visor first thing when I wake up before I get out of bed—it seems to both help with depression and regulate my sleep. Will post link separately …
https://balkowitsch.com/feel-bright-portable-led-rechargeable-wearable-battery-powered-light-visor/
Not cheap, but it lasts many years—I’m probably on my 4th?
And since I hate getting up, the ability to roll over and put it on while still in bed makes it a sustainable habit. On days where I am rushed I can wear it while getting up.
I’ve been struggling with depression this week—general discontent with the state of the world, plus Los Angeles is burning, plus I hurt my knee and I’m mad at myself about it because we have our trip to Yosemite coming up. But I had brunch with my friend, I read a good book (A Murder of Magpies, which I’m sure was recommended here), and I had one decent writing day. Kid 2 is undertaking driving lessons with a willing spirit and seems to be doing well. The weather here is gorgeous and the Bay Area is not on fire—always a win.
Oh, I did have another win… I’ve been craving a PB&J for several years now—unfortunate, since I can no longer eat bread, peanuts, or any of the additive ingredients in commercial jam. But I made my own grape sauce this week and mixed it and almond butter into a gluten-free pancake casserole, and the result is remarkable PB&J-like!
My mother found cashew butter a completely acceptable substitute for peanut butter (she was also allergic to almonds).
I would love cashew butter, but the only nuts I can eat are almonds, macadamias, and pistachios…
At least there are some!
Once I had my Curtain Walls up, I had to start re-arranging my furniture. For a lot of it, that means unloading the shelves, dragging or carrying the item to its new location, and reloading the shelves.
It isn’t important work. It’s barely busywork. It keeps me occupied.
I picked a ripe tomato and a ripe yellow bell pepper today. With some cheese and bacon, I foresee an omelet. I love omelets.
I edited/added to my curtain wall post including some how-to and some pictures of the re-arranged furniture. Now I have nothing to talk about on Working Wednesday.
Maybe that omelet.
I’m glad you found a way past depression, Jenny, and glad for Bob’s good counsel. Much of the week was frustrating, but my brother called yesterday to check on me, given the ice storm. He thought I was near Cincinnati, which is true only if one considers an hour away near. His grasp of geography is even worse than mine, but we had a nice chat. And qigong practice resumed online after the holidays, which is very good.
I used to attend a qigong class in San Diego. I loved it. For me it’s so much better than TaiChi.
Judy, can you explain how Qigong differs from Tai Chi? I’ve tried Tai Chi several times, and never really got far enough into it. The first instructor started over every time there was a new student, so we only got part way through, and never reached the end. The second class was chair Tai Chi, which is really weird.
Both qigong & tai chi focus on energy. Qigong focuses as much on breathing as on movement to channel energy flow. Tai Chi is a martial art. Qigong is simpler & the movements are easier to learn.
Tai Chi for me can be painful. For example the Horse stance – from a standing position you go down as if you were sitting in a chair (no chair there) & hold that stance for a minute or more.
Nothing about qigong is painful.
Also – qigong is older than Tai Chi & used to be prescribed by doctors to strengthen the body & promote overall health.
I’m very sorry to hear that depression is affecting you, Jenny. But I’m impressed at how much you get done—writing, crocheting, pet tending, room organizing, staying in contact with friends. I’m definitely on Team Lightbox/Sunshine so I hope you get lots of light this week!
I reread “Sizzle” (by a very insightful author named Jennifer C) in the anthology Be Mine. It really hit the spots including woman friends, smart women manipulating obtuse co-workers, and NOT BEING LISTENED TO ! Whew! I can absolutely relate to that! It was funny and sexy and smart!
I have a request for the third Rose book. Please include a map of Rocky Start. I really appreciated the map in Welcome to Temptation that included the water tower. Thanks!
Happiness is being at a friend’s house out of the fire warning area
Oh, good! I was looking at maps & worrying about you.
Jenny i am so glad you had Bob to talk you down and Terry to comfort you.
Speaking of meltdowns, my microwave just died. Sigh. And yesterday probably my GPS, although I haven’t given completely up on resurrecting that yet. Sigh. I can cope without either for a while, fortunately.
Jenny, take care of yourself. maybe you should take a vacation, you have been working non-stop on books and you don’t seem to take weekends off. Maybe you need to start taking weekends off. Terry Pratchett is a great way to relax, though Moist and Adora are perfect for each other. His reasoning for her not to commit murder during dinner show it perfect. I still have a few Terry Pratchetts I haven’t read or are reluctant to read, since he is gone. I should read them, I bought the Hardcovers since I love his work.
It’s been a low key week. Happiness is that gun surgery went ok and I’m not feeling too bad, that I am getting some household chores done—financial planning, preparing to renew German passport. And that I had a legitimate case to postpone day job work (but next week will be busy).
But there is one big happy; DD’s house purchase was completed Friday. I hope it works as well for them as it seems it should.
And DS is visiting next weekend because of a dentist appointment so that’s something to look forward to.
Glad the gum surgery went well. I once had the interesting experience of a recovery period from gum surgery that overlapped with time that, as already planned, I spent at an sf convention in Texas a thousand miles or more from home (and filled with available hard party food like peanuts and pretzels). Other interesting things happened on that trip too, but I survived and generally enjoyed myself despite them.
Aside from being continuously happy that my electricity stayed on through a week of snow and ice, the best thing this week was driving to work this morning watching the moon set. Almost full, and wearing only a few diaphanous clouds.
It looked wonderful this afternoon, floating above Shrewsbury.
My own major happy was the book club meeting. Having gotten the snow from the earlier significant snowfall off my car, I found that the one from Friday night to Saturday morning did not amount to much (maybe 3 inches and fluffy), and the condo parking lot was plowed by the time I had to clear off the car again and head out in the afternoon. And the car started easily despite having sat in the cold for a week. I don’t have a view from my condo unit of the public roads (and their condition doesn’t always synch with the plowing inside the condo development) but those turned out to be in decent shape, which was good because the club had had to take a meeting room in a relatively remote branch of the county library for lack of any available room unreserved more centrally. Besides my dead GPS (whose absence caused me to miss a turn and have to double back a bit), the only glitch was that the library parking spaces mostly were not plowed out. But I managed to park regardless. The meeting had low attendance but went smoothly and enjoyably. I had stuck to major roads and a slightly longer route to the library, but when I saw how clear the roads were, I took the back route home with no problems. When I arrived home, I wrote up some of the meeting observations for the next GBTh, and I may recycle them elsewhere too.
Happy today is that our friends in Santa Monica have *not* been told to evacuate, we’ve been completely safe down here in Hawthorne, and the winds have cooperated by blowing most of the smoke and ash somewhere else. In short, the Santa Monica Mountains and San Gabriel foothills continue to burn, but those of us in the Los Angeles street grid are okay. (Hawthorne is in the LA metro area but 10 miles south of the Palisades fire.)
Also found some stock photos that I really like for my publisher to consider for the cover of the February novella. I always go in thinking I’ll never find something right for X story, but so far I think we’re doing pretty well. 🙂
Family in North Carolina got sub-20F-degree days and some snow, which resulted in a blizzard (ha) of cute pictures for the digital archive.
I’m making a collage for a new kids’ book, and that’s making me happy. Plus I went for a swim this morning because the water was so calm and clear that it was impossible NOT to go for a swim. Saw an enormous stingray lurking on the bottom, which kind of made me happy and terrified at the same time, but we managed to go our separate ways peacefully.
Then I went out to the back garden to pick some blood plums and there was a bandicoot eating the fallen ones so I tiptoed away very quietly. Bandicoots always make me happy because they’re so cute.
I definitely had to look up “bandicoot”. 🙂
They are the cutest little creatures, Lisa. Always a few in my back garden digging holes in the lawn to look for grubs!
Paul and I had a meeting with our accountant who gave us the green light to proceed as per usual for next year, which was good. We have decided to pay ourselves less from the company in anticipation of filling that account as full as possible so we can draw on it for a year or so after Paul retires.
We went to visit my parents today. My aunt and her friend were coming to their place as well but they were over an hour late for lunch. Really, we should have eaten without them but :shrug: we didn’t.
One of the other things we are doing in preparation for Paul retiring is making a list of the more expensive things we want to do/replace around the house/yard and make a slush fund for things we shouldn’t replace just yet (like our 12-year-old furnace) but will need to in the next 5-7 years. It’s much easier to fill those accounts and make those purchases when we still have a working income as opposed to a retirement semi-fixed income. Of course, this is all a best-laid-plans scenario, life can get messy.
I’m still working on my dresses and that’s making me happy too.
I’m impressed you can even do this. I’m trying to figure out how much to plan for house maintenance when we retire and realizing I have no idea. I guess I need to start googling various key house bits and see how long they usually last and what they cost to replace . Sigh.
I caught up on the last three postings on Saturday. I fell behind due to weather and a mammogram which I scheduled far too early in the morning. I can’t seem to sign on my email today. And the system won’t let me change my password. I have, of course, exceeded my attempts and so have to wait until tomorrow to straighten everything out (I hope). And I am signed on on my cell phone so it’s really not a major problem.
The Moist books are so much fun and Lord Vetinari is the only tyrant I could possibly. tolerate. He’s one of my favorite characters in the Discworld. And I believe Jenny pointed out, I don’t know how long ago, that the antagonist in Going Postal lived in Dump Tower. Sir Terry, such a smart man.
I did get out to lunch today with my cousin and a friend. I finished two little crochet projects and will be starting an afghan. Reading some so so regencies and looking forward to the latest JAK. And we’re not expecting any snow this week so there should be no interference with my doctor appointment 9not as early) or the meetings that are scheduled. Nothing but goo times ahead.
That post in itself proves that you are a Writer with a capital W; it is very touching.
Having my son and my daughter around the table doing a cheese fondue and assorted tabletop grilling meal tonight made me happy. At the moment a fortuitous ‘70s playlist that has been accompanying my reading this evening has provided the icing on my pleasant mood: Jefferson Airplane, Janis Joplin, C,S,N and Young. Still have Christmas lights up around the fireplace and windows, cat on my lap… a very very fine house indeed.
After basically stalling out on a lot of things last year (exercise, healthy eating, writing, dating, learning to drive, etc.) I’m trying to be more intentional about figuring out a routine that works for me.
One idea that I came across is the idea of treating “failure” in pursuit of a goal more like a scientific experiment. If I was supposed to write before work but overslept, my go-to was being mad at myself for oversleeping. Now I’m trying to ask myself “Why did I oversleep?” –> “Because I stayed up too late.” Then it was “Because I went to bed on time but couldn’t fall asleep for two hours because my bed time is too inconsistent”.
Fingers crossed that this keeps moving me closer to the habits I want, but so far it feels like a good middle ground between two things that weren’t working (listening to whatever I want to do in the moment in the name of being gentle with myself, vs. tough love that was actually just setting unrealistic goals and being bummed when they didn’t produce results).
Completed the seven day Daniel fast. Feeling virtuous bc I knew if I stuck to it I would/could do it again. Spirituality, physically, emotionally calm and settled. Sleep only off the rails one night. So that was a huge plus.
Eldest son and wife arrived back home Saturday night. Happy and relaxed. Son has decided to do his masters degree. Yeah. They had a few issues with the trailer. It is a vintage Boler, the bigger one.
Saturday evening is Christmas, a birthday, anniversary and new year’s toast; a multi celebration. (In-laws turn 2024.).
Haircut on Friday. New stylist. Change is coming year in 2025.
. DIL calls it the Mc…multi celebration.
Somewhere above Lupe mentioned Saint Savoy shoes, so I had to go look. I was thrilled to see the Riviera is exactly like the shoes I played dress-up with as a child, that had belonged to my mother in college in the late 30s. Definitely authentic vintage!
My happy is more like laughing at myself because of my inertia. I heard the Alameda bike/bus assembling in front of my house and said “wonder what’s going on with the bike/bus? It’s usually Tuesday at 7:30 am”. Note that I could not be bothered to actually go out and check it out. Which is too bad because Justin Timberlake was leading it as a special event. There were hundreds of kids with their parents. Even though they were out there for about a half an hour waiting for all the kids who were coming, I only looked out the window once or twice and mumbled That’s weird. I would probably miss the second coming if I was in the middle of a project.
I have one Discworld Pratchett left, The Shepherd’s Crown. But it’s the last one, so I can’t bring myself to read it. I will try the other series.
I seem to be out of my December January funk earlier than usual, which is good.
De-cluttering and living up to my commitments, making music and taking care of my health as I take care of my parents, are my goals for this winter.
Also, avoiding the news while still knowing what is going on, a tricky one, that.
Yeah, I don’t want to write the same story either, and I want to keep getting better too. Which sounds sensible, or even responsible — but then I realized it also meant I was scared to try anything actually new.
I still struggle with the balance, of course — who doesn’t? But I decided that trying something new was important enough to me that I could go for a mountain at the same height, just with a different view. And I started setting aside a bit of shiny idea time just to explore and try things without pressure.
Here’s to finding your own way through, and to everyone who helps you make that easier.
My happiness from last week waited until today to show up, but I am OVERJOYED to find it. Last week I was extremely frustrated and depressed by my inability to get an appointment with a hand specialist at either the hospital I use or the one where my sister had her surgery. It was so bad that I didn’t even get dressed for several days. Today I dragged myself to physical therapy for my balance and dizziness and told the therapist (who works for my hospital) about my problems and he offered to contact my internist and request an order for therapy with a occupational therapist for my hand without dealing with a specialist at all. Whoopee!!! That will save me months of BS and waiting and, unless my internist doesn’t agree, will give me a lot of motivation to do my exercises at home. Which is also a good thing because so far I’ve been better at thinking up excuses not to do my exercises than I have been at doing them.
Another happy is that I picked up the books I ordered online from my friend’s store. One of them is so appropriate for all the runaround I’ve been getting that I may just keep it for myself. It is called “The Frustrating Book” by Mo Willems. That man can get more expression out of a single line than almost anyone I know. I also have an appointment on Wednesday with the “Dizzy Doc” as well as some more testing that they sprung on me after I made that appointment so I hope to know more soon.
Physical therapists for the win!
I’m looking up at a shelf stuffed full of Terry Pratchett. I, too, loved the Moist books. Raising Steam may be one of his best, if he had stop, at least we have plenty to re-read and love over and over.
The Last Shepherd sits unread on the shelf, the one he didn’t finish, didn’t polish to a Pratchett gleam of wit and sparkle. The one the made my mother weep.
I read a Christmas present the other day, There Are Rivers in the Sky, it was quite the most depressing book I’ve ever read, the only one I’ve ever wanted to unread. For the final 250 very long pages, I promised myself Dogs and Goddesses, just because. So I did, the next day, to remind myself how much I love to read!