130 Responses

1. I saw Bruce Springsteen. He’s such a great performer and puts on an amazing show. He sang “A Long Walk Hone” which he introduced as a “prayer for his country”. I’ve seen him several times and he’s more introspective with some song choices but he can still rock out. He clearly enjoys performing and likes and admired his fellow musicians. Yes, I’m worried about the state of the world but 2-1/2 hrs of Springsteen brought me joy.

   I bought a purple leather purse at the quarterly Dress for Success sale. I’ve always wanted a true purple purse and this one is in good condition. It’s a small thing, but it makes me happy. Plus, I know the money is going to a good cause.

   After many years, I’ve started to knit again. I used to knit a lot, but stopped when my son was young. I occasionally bought some yarn and a pattern but never finished anything. But I started to think about it more and more a couple of weeks ago and started working on an unfinished project. I’m making a simple hat for my nephew in a lovely Peruvian wool. I’m taking my time and enjoying the process.

   1. We must have been at the same Bruce Springsteen concert which also made me very happy. And although at 75 he doesn’t leap tall buildings anymore, still, my that man is lithe.

   2. I’m so glad the Springsteen show was good, we are going to see him on the 19th!

      1. I can never remember who in this group lives in Edmonton, where I do, but I gather you do (or are very near?) I will be at the Springsteen show on the 19th, too, and know it will lift my spirits. Last Tuesday plunged so many of us, everywhere, into a depression.

         I have followed Jenny’s advice subconsciously — don’t suffer the same horror twice by worrying aboutvit in advance.

2. Happiness coming from dark places.

   For the past year my friends and I had few chances of gathering, mostly because of being physically apart (for both good and bad reasons). Surgery for one friend, then the election brought us back together. I saw more of them this past week than I have in a year. Gathering reminds me of what has real value.

   Second example.

   Going back a couple of weeks to our trip to the Spanish island of Mallorca, the only downside was the treatment of my daughter, who uses a wheelchair, at Boston’s Logan Airport and the Madrid airport. First, Iberia downgraded her from a Business class seat to flying stand-by with a economy seat at best. (The downgrade was not because of her wheelchair.) Then, the accessibility services at BOS and MAD are awful. We passed two elderly women in Boston who told our wheelchair pusher that they had been waiting for a pusher for an hour and feared missing their flights. We arrived at each of our flights at the last minute.

   So, since our return, I’ve been fighting with Iberia for a refund of the difference between business fare and economy fare (my husband sat in the economy seat; my daughter cannot sit up for an 8 hour flight). I’ve contacted the ADA folks about the treatment of wheelchair passengers. This is going to take a long time.

   However, for me the most interesting part is my daughter’s reaction. When I, all fussed about the situation, asked her how she felt, she shrugged. “I don’t have the energy to get emotional about things I can’t change,” she explained. I remembered what she’d told me about the Spoon Theory, which you guys probably know about. It uses the image of a spoon as a unit of energy that a disabled person has. Disabled people use far more spoons to do basic tasks than able bodied people do. So, a disabled person like my daughter makes calm decisions about what is worth using up spoons for. It’s an excellent way to rein in hysteria, I find.

   1. Elizabeth, I forgot the spoon theory. Thanks for the reminder. My spoons are lessening as I age, and I’m fighting it, instead of accommodating it. Your daughter is very wise. I have read several articles and op-eds about poor treatment of the wheelchair-bound, and awful handling of wheelchairs by airlines personnel. Definitely report it.

   2. That’s a good philosophy. Something to keep in mind.

3. What made me happy this week is that my nephew came to stay from Kingston with his girlfriend and two of their friends from Vancouver who are very excited to see Toronto which is so cute. They went to see Evil Dead: The Musical which had a designated splash zone. Yikes.

   1. I’m with you on the low grade nausea. Eating had been a challenge, but I am doing a little better.

      Similar to your daughter, Elizabeth, my husband is a lot calmer than I am. As a person of color, he is used to the world letting him down. I am trying to match his energy and live in the moment, because today, everything is ok. It’s hard.

      I have been reading about the blue bracelet thing and I think that I am going to make one for myself. It feels a little silly, but also like I am trying to do something, a baby step, as I look for more positive actions I can do. Open to suggestions here, if anyone has thoughts.

      My happy is that the bank is closed tomorrow. I am trying to talk my husband into going to see The Wild Robot in theaters with me, because we need to leave the house and remember that there are good things out there. Also, I am going to do some deep cleaning, some baking, and making another batch of kimchi. I also bought Paperwhite narcissus bulbs to plant. Life affirmations.

      1. Sorry, Tammy. That was supposed to be it’s own comment. Not a response.

         1. Why don’t you want to talk to me??🤪

            1. I do. I just didn’t mean to emotional vomit all over your response section. Xo.

            2. I like emotional vomit, not to worry.

      2. Lupe, I had to look up blue bracelet. It’s a movement for women to signal that they didn’t vote for orangey. A majority of white women did. Racism and sexism are alive and thriving here in the US.

         1. Yet another time I am proud to be in the minority.

            1. Ditto.

      3. Lupe, I bought a bunch of blue bracelets and PRIDE/Love is Love bracelets to wear and share. I’ll wear a few and have more with me that I can give out to others. It’s what I can do right now.

         1. Thanks. I was a little unsure because I was feeling like it could be a weird thing for someone of color to see. I know it doesn’t automatically mark me as ‘safe’ but it’s better than nothing and we’ll intentioned.

            1. Lupe, are you familiar with SURJ (Standing Up for Racial Justice)? They already had at least one giant zoom welcome call for white folks trying to figure out what to do post-election (and just trying to process!), and I bet they’ll have more soon. Just wondering if that would be something worth exploring if the bracelets aren’t quite hitting the right note for you, or if you want to connect with other folks pondering similar questions.

4. That’s about where I’m at, Jenny. I’m channeling despair and panic into trying to catch up on all the things that didn’t get done while I was madly trying to finish the Llewellyn book. (Which is finally done, thank the gods.) Taking walks every day even though I’m still wrestling with heel pain, and walking farther and faster than usual because it feels like the devil is right behind me, and listening to my tunes and singing out loud, because both walking and singing are supposed to be good for helping with the fight or flight reflex that comes from anxiety and stress.

   Trying to do nice things for other people I know are struggling too. On the day after, I posted a spell for strength that even non-Pagans seemed to appreciate, and put up a 15% sale across my entire Etsy shop with the coupon code “FEELBETTER” so people could buy a treat for themselves or someone else.

   Spending time with those I love and like and whose sanity I appreciate (although it’s tough, because we’re all depressed AF). Trying to remind myself that those folks exist, and that not everyone is evil and selfish and stupid.

   I also try and look on the bright side of everything, but I’m really, really struggling right now. Cats are good. Living alone, maybe not so much right now.

   Elizabeth, what happened to your daughter is awful. Maybe time to threaten legal action? Hugs.

   In fact, hugs for everyone. Love you all. Hang in there.

5. ‘…appreciate the small moments of good in your world.’

   I had this same conversation yesterday with a couple of friends. We started off discussing the existential dread we’re feeling, and then moved on to how can we best take care of ourselves, marshall our emotional and psychological resources, and then determine what we are each individually capabable of doing to take care of our immediate and larger communities.

   Yesterday, this meant going to see a phenomenal production of “Pru Payne” at the SpeakEasy Stage in Boston (if you’re in the area I *highly* recommend seeing this; final peformances are Wednesday – Saturday this week), and then a out to dinner with friends during which time we did our best to avoid discussing politics and were mostly successful. I finished the day feeling a little calmer and happier than I had felt all week.

6. John Stewart had a great podcast episode with the historian, Heather Cox Richardson, that helped to put some context around the vote. I live and teach in the reddest of red states. We are the incubator for a lot of the policies that are happening nationwide, and Richardson’s framing matched up with a lot of what I am seeing.

   Beyond getting this repeat candidate on the ballot (which was a political maneuver done by lots cronies and not what many people wanted – at least not here), she explained that many red voters thought they were voting for similar things to blue voters: the economy, safety, border security, democracy. Both blue and red campaigns claimed that they were the party to address those issues best. Unfortunately, a bit like farmers who voted for Regan in the 80s, the propaganda and misinformation (and disinformation) meant that red voters were voting against a lot of those interests.

   It helped me to understand a lot of what I am seeing- good families with sweet kids, law-abiding citizens, people who love democracy (although some are starting to wish for autocracy here, too). We have lots of immigrants in our county, and while there is racism here and elsewhere, I have also seen a lot of helping hands and love. Our county educates children of low socio-economics in equal measure to ones from affluent families (and that is a feat). Kids in our district get educated no matter their background, and teachers here are pretty determined to help anyone who comes our way. When the government falls short, we are, as a rule, generous. When people are in need, there are helpers.

   So, when I am trying to wrap my mind around the crazy stew of what I see in my everyday- the people I know, the perspective of the legacy media (on both sides), and my own grasp of history (lived experience and what I’ve read) – it helps to have Richardson’s take, that many people did vote for what they thought was the same thing. They just bought into their party’s claim that they would solve it.

   Were people mislead? Yes. Will there be hard times? Yes. However, she reminded viewers that even during other dark times (slavery, segregation, the years before the 19th amendment) that people hurt by those times still made communities, fed their families, soldiered on each day, and they fought for rights and eventually won. I am going to hold onto that history, and my goal going forward is to find common ground and to keep doing the right thing, even when, as she says, “the walls are closing in.”

   1. HCR has saved my sanity through the lies and deliberate manipulation.

   2. I love Heather’s newsletter! I will look for that podcast. Thanks!

   3. I’m going to check out that podcast – thank you!

   4. for anyone who wants to find the episode, Jon Stewart’s podcast is called The Weekly Show

   5. I would also recommend John Stewart’s interview with Doris Kearns on the 25 July. She talks about how candidates were chosen in the past and how the system changed over time. There is wonderful story about Teddy Roosevelt calling William Taft a pinhead. Different times.

   6. I find Heather Cox Richardson not only informative but extremely calming as well. It’s good to get a historian’s perspective.

   7. I’ve been sending the YouTube version of that podcast to everyone I know who is as depressed by the election as I have been. I think I’d better look for blue bracelets.

      Also on the Stewart/Richardson video/podcast — isn’t it great to hear really smart, deep-thinking people discuss lessons learned from what’s been going on, and come up with a novel view of things that suggests what we can really — and usefully — attack as the greater problem? Being on the side of those two really confirms that I’m on the correct side of things.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7cKOaBdFWo

   8. I follow Heather Cox Richardson daily. My son sent me the John Stewart podcast and I really loved it. And I agree we have lived through a lot of other times like this. A funny thing was back in 2016. The red one gave permission to the gas companies to build more pipelines and the coal companies to mine more coal and the oil companies to drill like crazy and they basically all said “gee thanks but ….
      I’m clinging to the fact that in 2016 everything he promised didn’t happen. In the meantime, since I can’t do anything about any of it keeping calm and carrying on. I do find myself singing.” So long and thanks for all the fish.” From hitchhiker’s guide.

      I meant to put this in my.
      He also deregulated the auto industry and they said the same thing.
      I’m being happy for all the little things around me. Occasional sight of an autumn tree.,5 f l o do How are you so much fun had a little PTSD ambulance strength all right

7. My more personal posting to follow, but this political speculation is in response to Jenny:

   I’m trying not to borrow trouble.  That person is a narcissist and a liar, not to mention a repeat bankruptcy customer.  He will have no problem in failing to pay off the promises that he made to right-wingers, extreme social conservatives, and plutocrats if betraying them suits his present whim.  Given his age and the Constitutional term limit, I don’t think even he expects to extend his power, except maybe in a kingmaker role, past his second, and therefore last, term.  Staying out of jail afterward and exacting revenge will probably be his highest priorities.  His place in history might come third, but his narcissism will tell him that whatever he does will ipso facto be recognized as best thing ever.  Meanwhile his flunkies, realizing his limited future utility for themselves, will be infighting over the succession.  All of that will limit the amount of damage he can do.  As I already said, I think our allies will suffer worse than we will.

   That person, already from his first term, is the worst president of my lifetime, but even before him, we got through the presidents of “I am not a crook,” “our long national nightmare is over,” “Brezhnev *lied* to me [sob!],” “it depends on what the definition of ‘is’ is,” and others.

   1. Good points, Patrick. However, he has little to lose, now, unless he decides he shouldn’t leave in 2028. I don’t think he would get away with that.

   2. I think you’re right, Patrick. People like him are chaos machines, and it will all depend on how he feels on the day. Hopefully that will limit the damage.

8. I, too, am working hard to live in the moment. This has been helped by a fan-run science fiction and fantasy convention that’s this weekend. Earlier, I had volunteered to be on panels. They had a questionnaire, and zi expressed willingness to be on a few and to moderate several more, so they put me on 8 across two days. I had expected a lot more competition for seats, but it’s keeping me busy. This I’m engaging in interesting conversations with smart people.

   My eldest daughter is with me, attending artistic workshops–decorating a mask, making a flower fairy, and fusing glass. We both spent more than we intended in the dealers room.

   1. For Reasons, I have not attended an sf/f convention in a few years, but when I did, I found them absorbing enough, between convention itself and the logistics of either commuting or a hotel stay, that I never had time to worry about the outside world until it was over. (I got back from one convention just before the 9/11 attack, which was a rude awakening!)

      Ending up on eight panels does seem like a lot, especially for someone other than the Guest of Honor (and not all of even them are willing to work that hard). I would guess that either the con is in a geographical area not well populated with authors or, less likely, it’s a pretty new con and not yet well known. I hope it turns out to be good publicity rather than overwork.

   2. I believe Jenny is making masks for Honey Pot Plot. At least we have blank pages that say “Coral’s mask here”. I think Max’s mask will be sort of like that guy in those slasher movies.

      1. That’s what you think Rose thinks of Max?
         It’s a fluffy bunny.

         1. I assume more of a very nice vampire bunny with teeth

            1. Like Bunnicula?

      2. Masks, not death masks.

9. Waking up at 3am from the nightmare that has been this election is becoming a pain.
   I tell myself I will not let them disturb my life and go back to sleep. Like many of you have said, we will persist. Focusing on “what is the best thing that will happen today?”
   I also live in a red state in a red neighborhood. My neighbors are good people, like you said they believe the lies.
   I am almost past the anger where I want each of them to suffer the consequences of their action. Almost.

   I plan on embroidering a small blanket I purchased for myself as a way to not lose it but also to make it look nicer.
   The watercolor workbook is almost done, yay and I will start another.

10. Enjoyed more beautiful fall weather and now enjoying rain, both for itself and as an excuse not to go out and walk.

    My house is tidy, the dishwasher is empty and clothes are in the dryer. It all needs vacuuming, but if I take off my glasses it looks good.

    I snabbed Gin’s book last week , so I have something new to read, and left over Halloween candy, and a slightly odd said-to-be traditional Dutch pastry that involves a lot of almond paste. Sounds like a great set up for a pleasant Sunday. Though if I keep comfort eating I will soon (already?) need new clothes, but that is a thought for another day.

11. I’m with you on all the impacts. Waking up too early–yep. “Digestive issues”–this is not how I wanted to lose weight. Sending hugs and comfort and hope.

12. My book is due and it’s still not finished so I’m working on that and trying not to doom scroll. The fact that tomorrow is a holiday has made me happy because I’m hoping that my editor will be out of the office tomorrow thus giving me an extra day. We’ll see. I guess I’m really grasping at straws with that.

    My online writing friends and I have come together to support one another through Skype and Zoom so that’s comforting since I’m a blue dot in a red state. Luckily my daily walking partner is also a blue dot so I take comfort from that.

    1. My technique for finishing a book quickly is to kill as many characters are fast as possible so the plot simplifies.

       1. Great advice, Bob!! Especially in these times.

       2. Bob could you please write a book where an orange colored president turns out to be an alien & his home planet comes to get him before he can do our country any harm? You could kill off the vice & speaker of the house & anyone who belongs to MAGA. That would be a high body count.

          1. Now there’s a plot I’d like to see fulfilled.

          2. I don’t think his home planet wants him back. That’s why he ended up here to begin with and his brain parasite is contagious.

       3. Which is why he collaborates with me. I save characters daily.

       4. I so agree. I started a story that began with the end of the MAGA period, during which they mostly killed themselves off – took it from the 30 years war, which killed anywhere between ⅓ & ½ the population of Central Europe. I figure the MAGA wars will take out 40% and that it should be mostly themselves…

13. I’ll read posts and comment more later, but for now, Jenny, how about a guy cooking cakes with his dog? This made me happy this week, like, giggled happy:
    https://www.instagram.com/mancancooknz/

    1. Natasha, these are hilarious, thank you! Speaking of honey pot …

    2. Oh my gosh, after watching 5 of these, I’m like…’what election?’ lol. Thanks for this!

14. Happiness for me today is that the sun shone for a few hours and I actually did some housework.
    The problem with doing housework is that you see all the things that need to be done (sunshine also highlights things to clean) but I’m just happy I did some cleaning.

    Nothing useful to add about the election except to say that I engage with news and current events much less than I used to and it’s better for me. Mostly it’s stuff I can do nothing about and it just makes me feel bad.

15. I am in a pottery sale this weekend and feeling a bit low because my pots aren’t selling as well as I’d hoped. Like a lot of people, I prefer the process of making art to the work involved in selling it, and really need to set aside some time & energy to research new sales venues that are a better match for my particular pieces. Of course, instead of thinking about that, I have spent most of my unoccupied time sketching out ideas for a therapeutic No More Billionaires/Eat the Rich dinnerware set. Ah well.

    This week, I’ve concentrated on reaching out to friends, checking in on people, and feeling connected to my community. Plus doing tangible things that nourish my sense of control, whether it’s building a new tea organizer for my kitchen counter (done!) or boosting public worker unions in my town (done!).

    1. Eating The Orange One might be injurious to your health due to high levels of fat ant toxins.

    2. Selling is so hard. Don’t let it get you down.

16. I went to an NHL hockey game the day after the election when I was still in a catatonic state. I was surprised at how happy it made me; for a couple of hours I didn’t think about Bad Stuff To Come and watched some amazing hockey and got to see some hockey superstars in action. A beautiful thing indeed and as you say Jenny, competence porn.
    Since then I have been Swedish Death Cleaning like a madwoman and getting stuff out of the house has made me happy too. And some of this stuff is going to people who need it. That made me even happier.
    Finally, our yard has never looked better: DH and I finally made real progress in clearing out the dead and dying plants which I leave out as long as possible for migrant birds. They’ve served their purpose and are now going to the county compost heap. Bulb planting is almost all done and a big delivery of top soil and mulch next week will finish off the job AND give us some more physical activity to help keep the endorphins up to keep our moods stable.

    1. Which one did you watch, Christina?
       I feel glad that my fav teams are in states that voted blue or are Canadian anyway (yes, I have more than one, this helps when any one performs badly).

       1. I went to a Washington Capitals vs Nashville Predators game. Had great seats and it was a really good, smart and absorbing game.
          Where a team comes from doesn’t signify any political leaning of the players or the supporters per se so I’m not letting that even enter my mind. I’m in it for the great hockey and am just not going to mix it with politics or it could ruin the game for me (e.g. I give you the fact that Wayne Gretzky attended the orange one’s victory party and he and his family are all over social media supporting him…)

       2. Wayne, Wayne, Wayne – what can you be thinking??

          1. shocking, non?

    2. I was actually at the San Jose Sharks vs Columbus Blue Jackets game on Tuesday night and had been hoping to be distracted

       Alas, it was one of the more boring games I’ve gone to in a long time and I had a hard time focusing on it – but Macklin Celebrini looks like he might be the real deal and I’m very very excited about him.

       1. The Sharks are on my list of teams I root for (they’re number 2 on the list — my “development team”. ) In fact I’m going to see them when they come play the Capitals next month. I expect a rout BUT am looking forward to seeing Celebrini and Will Smith play. I have high hopes for this team — maybe not this year quite yet, they’re very young!

17. Jenny, I like your attitude and approach to this situation. There is already too much news about orangey, and he’s not even in office, yet. I’m avoiding it. Here’s what my Penzey’s spices email said this morning: “21.6% of all Americans voted for Donald Trump this time which beats the 20.5% who voted for Kamala Harris.” That means a slim 1.1% of the population made the difference in our lives for the next four years. That is not a “mandate”, by any stretch of the imagination! It’s sad that less than half of us even voted! The filibuster is still alive and well in the Senate, and that is a hopeful thing. The House still isn’t decided, and it’s very close.

    Next week I meet the new Cardiologist and will hopefully get more information than I got from the substitute Electrophysiologist. Information is power. The cooler weather is here to stay! The trees were gorgeous, and are now losing their leaves. We have sun today!! As you say, Jenny, it’s the small moments that bring joy, now.

    1. I meet a new cardiologist on Wednesday. Hoping he can cut back on the meds a little bit, but probably was just get scheduled for another CT scan.

       1. Good luck, Bob! Less meds is often better. Allopathic medicine leaves a lot to be desired.

18. The Honey Pot Plot is shaping up nicely? Good to hear!

19. As I noted on GBTh (in the context of self-help books), I’m dealing with the election by embracing change. Not embracing the president-elect (ick), but getting better at dealing with change by working on viewing change as a potentially good thing, so I’m looking forward instead of back. Baby-step approaches to life have always worked for me, so that’s what I’m doing now. I’ve set myself a goal to do ONE thing a day that embraces positive change. It can be non-routine housework (change from dirt/mess to tidy/clean), trying something new, learning a new skill, or whatever else feels different from my same-old, same-old. I set up a notebook to keep track of the daily changes (just a date and what changed). I also started immediately (on Saturday) instead of waiting for the new year or even a Monday!

    And that makes me happy. Yesterday my change was overcoming the anxiety about doing something I’d never done before, trying to view it as a learning experience instead of a potential disaster (using a new portable compressor to inflate the tires on my new-to-me car, which are being weird). Today is (I hope) getting rid of the old car (it’s been donated to charity, and tow truck is on the way to pick it up).

    Oh, and “positive change” includes finding and reading new-to-me authors, so I may have more to report than re-reads on future GBThs.

20. Cockroach Era is the one thing I’ve found that made me feel better:
    https://www.everywhereist.com/2024/11/it-is-time-for-our-cockroach-era/
    We need to focus on survival at this point.

    I have a day off from work tomorrow–I note I’m STILL stuck in “new job, not allowed to be out at all until six months are up”–and even if I have to use the day to get medical care and get my hair done instead of relaxing, it’s a day off.

    Also, alcohol has helped this week.

21. To anyone who has said (or thought) “I wish the Felon in Chief would just die!”, take a closer look at his Vice. Now that the orange one is Donny the (Lame) Duck, pray instead for sanity in Congress. They could scale back “executive privilege” just for starters, and limit the scope of presidential orders.

    I’d like to see a few amendments.
    1. Representatives should be elected for four years and limited to three terms.
    2. Senators should be elected for eight years and limited to two terms.
    3. The president should be elected for six years and limited to one elected term. If succeeding as vice president to president, count anything over a year to count as their one term. Someone could conceivably serve seven years, but no more.
    4. No justice of the supreme court should serve more than 20 years.
    5. The pay of an elected official should be tied to an equivalent military position. The president should be paid as a general. Senators as Brigadiers. Representatives as Colonels. None of them more than generals. Their retirement and health benefits should be tied to military benefits and administered by the Veterans Administration.

    1. I especially like 5.

       Re: Vice—have I mentioned the tRump sign I saw on a very rural Kentucky road where the veep’s name had been very neatly sliced out?

22. In some ways it helps me to remember that many of the people who voted for Trump are what my friend calls “low-information voters.” As Heather Cox Richardson pointed out (and thanks for the link, Mermaid Scribbler!), they weren’t voting for the horrible person he is; they really thought they were voting for a better economy and a safer world.

    Of course, in other ways, that’s infuriating.

    So I’m focused on finding positives and figuring out how to wield my checkbook most effectively.

    Biggest positive: I spent a week on the West Coast, visiting my college roomie and then DD–helping her paint the bathroom and clear out a junk room. After my summer on crutches and in a boot, it was wonderful to be able to travel and Do Stuff.

    1. Hooray for mobility and independence!

23. I am still waking up wrong (too early, too grumpy, too depresssed), and I’m spending mornings curled up in my bed, but I’m getting better. I’m moving from overwhelming sadness and despair into anger. I’m angry for how fearful I am. I’m angry for how afraid my LGBTQ+ friends are feeling, and I’m downright pissed off about some (insert ugly words here, lots of ugly words) taking over our country. So I’m slowly moving into my “time to kick some butt” stage, which is where I plan to reside for the next four years.

    Also, I bought an assortment of PRIDE/Love is Love bracelets and blue bracelets off the ‘Zon (I find it funny that Bozo had to sell them). I will wear several and keep several more with me to give away when I’m out and about. I told my husband it’s my quiet resistance….for now. I will get louder, though. I always do.

24. My activities have still been limited by tiring very easily any time I stand and try to move around.  (This is a known side effect of my therapy, and the idea is just to do as much as I can while I recover.  So far things seem on track.)  I don’t think the seesaw weather (into the 80s, then back to autumn normal) is helping my efficiency level, nor is the time change. Despite all, I’ve made some limited progress in reducing the chore backlog.

    I made extensive notes on Dune, and hope I didn’t end up boring the other folks at a poorly attended book club meeting as we discussed the novel.  I was by no means doing all the talking, but I arguably did more than my share. I enjoyed the session. I’ll hold my mixed-verdict thoughts on the book for GBTh.

    Otherwise, I’ve been reading a lot of Grace Burrowes, which I find to be soothing and engaging but undemanding reading.  As I said earlier, I’ve read all the Lord Julian books except for the latest, still on hold.  Accordingly, I switched to the Rogues to Riches series, where I’m noticing fewer anachronisms and other annoying errors, whether because there really are fewer or because the setting is different enough that I can’t recognize them. 

    Still, I could find no record of use of speaking tubes in mansions anywhere before 1849, and (as best as I could determine) abacuses were *not* in use in England in the Regency or soon thereafter.  The rather inefficient designs of the Middle Ages (generally using pieces on a flat board or in troughs rather than beads on wires) had been discontinued when Arabic numerals were adopted.  Abacuses were effectively employed in the Far East, Russia, and possibly even Eastern Europe, but England barely knew they existed elsewhere, much less actually used them at home.  I gather that today they are used to teach basic principles in many elementary schools in Europe (and for all I know in North America), but they were not even in schools in the Regency.  (Back in the day, I myself never used one in school, although someone, I think an aunt, gave me a Japanese-style one as a gift and I learned the basics of using it, and I later saw them seriously used in Russia—although I’m informed they have been mostly replaced by electronic calculators even there now.)

    That might actually inspire a decent Regency plot line, come to think of it.  A character could have learned efficient abacus use in Russia or the Far East somehow used the skill to good effect in England.

    1. Slide rules. I remember them from chemistry.I’m that old.

       1. My HS chemistry teacher talked some of us into getting a fairly expensive good slide rule to see us through college. I actually did use it a little in college, but not much. At some point in college or grad school I bought a fairly expensive calculator too, and then never ended up using any of its fancier functions, just the basic ones that a cheaper model could have handled. Youthful folly.

25. One day a few weeks ago, I was feeling horribly lonely and called both my Milwaukee and Minneapolis nieces. Yesterday my northernmost niece called back and really brightened my day. My Mother used to refer to them as my nices, because that is how they make me feel.

26. Thanks Deborah Blake for the spell. I’m not a witch but it’s still comforting! And since I was thinking about you at the same time I was thinking I want to read books with strong heroines who kick ass, I’ve started a reread of your Baba Yaga books.

    I think people are missing a big piece of bad when trying to figure out why people voted for DJT; Christian Nationalism which is not the same as Christianity. 21 to 34% of the 77million who voted for him embrace Christian Nationalism.
    Wikipedia has a great article about it complete with sources listed. It’s scary.

    White supremacist, Christian Nationalist Nick Fuentes on Wednesday tweeted- Ladies – your body my choice, forever. There were apparently boys in public school saying that to girls.
    Women responded by tweeting all his info including his home address. Your home, our choice was their battle cry. I hope his house is egged or tp-ed everyday, forever.

    1. Horrified. He gave that segment of society permission to say and do without consequences.

27. “Yes, very bad things are going to happen, but I don’t know what or when, so if I dwell on them now, I’ll just experience them twice. I have to live in the present, not waste the present moment dreading the future.”

    This really struck me. My anxiety tends to lend itself to catastrophizing and getting into a whirlpool of what-ifs, recriminations, doubts, despair, etc. I haven’t really done anything healthy to deal yet, although I’ve been trying to trade doom scrolling for looking at posts of funny and/or cute animals. It helps immensely that I’m not on social media, I think (although I keep thinking about Pinterest).

    I plan to reach out today to a friend who is even more depressed than I am. Maybe we can find ways to help each other. And I’m going to look into the blue bracelets.

28. Had a nice brunch with my Friday brunch friend and reminisced about the brunching together after the 2016 election. We were able to say, “well, we’re still here,” which was comforting. We ate French fries, once again, but neither of us can drink alcohol anymore, which this week has been a crying shame.

    Spouse and I watched a French documentary on the Basque region and I came away desperately hoping nobody ends up counting on me to help move people over a border to safety behind the backs of Nazi (or similar) troops, because that shit is scary. I really like being safe and comfortable— a very lowering realization to have this week. However, it’s unlike to come to that for a while, which makes me happy. Will keep sending money to organizations that seem to be doing some good.

    I texted with a cousin I really like this week—rarely have contact with my cousins, so that was lovely. And I’ve been chatting with one of our neighbors more since Halloween. Their 15 month old was very captivated by our Harris/Walz sign because it had a handsome cat on it. I’ve taken in the sign but replaced it with some kitty cat yard decorations which she will hopefully enjoy discovering and visiting.

    Beautiful weather here today. Sunny but cool. We’ll go hiking and try to soak it all in. Still enjoying the Barbara Ross clambake mysteries and have quite a few left to read. Will have to switch to my backup library system membership in Hoopla soon as I’m about to exceed my borrowing limit for November. I think I’m almost back on track to meet my Goodreads reading goal for the year through sheer determined, head-in-the-sand, binge reading. Yay?

29. I’m finding my recent drastic reduction in news is helpful. Most of it is speculation and fear-mongering, best ignored when there’s not an election looming. I’m focusing more on my local community.

    Happy things this week were at last a hint of sun today (it’s been dark overcast for ages, and getting colder). So I got back to clearing and mulching the allotment. Caught up with my allotment neighbour, who I hadn’t seen for months, and who was excited to be given my hardy citrus & Szechuan pepper, both of which turned out too thorny for me. I love finding good homes for plants I don’t want.

    I’ve also enjoyed a solitary week, plus yesterday evening with my photographer friend – it was good to be just the two of us again. But I am also looking forward to my homeless friend’s return tomorrow. Her house purchase is supposed to exchange & complete by Friday. Here’s hoping.

    1. My best wishes for your unlucky homeless friend. Here’s hoping it all works properly this time.

       1. Thanks, Patrick.

30. Black humor being another way to get through trying times, here’s a link I found via File 770:

    https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/heres-why-a-second-death-star-wont-be-that-bad

    1. Why, oh, why do I keep forgetting McSweeney’s exists?

    2. Thank you! I hadn’t read anything on this site before and that was great.

31. I really appreciate this post, thank you. It has been comforting to me to reflect on beautiful memories from the past few months. One was an amazing whale watching trip with dear friends. The whales were magical, we stayed at a gorgeous house on the beach, and reconnected with lots of love. During these difficult days, I keep going back to that. I am finding great comfort in my community of like-hearted soul group friends, especially my dearest women friends. I feel like community will be very important in the coming days/weeks/months, possibly hears. So thank you for creating this beautiful community here. 💙

32. After last week’s devastating outcome I’ve decided to ignore reality as much as possible. The whole world is affected by this and our youngsters reacted with fear.
    At work (our staff, students and faculty is international) reacted with complete bewilderment and sadness. As family, we’ve decided to hug a lot and comfort each other as much as possible.

    The daughter and I had planned to visit the US in the near future but for the next years, those plans will not be realized. I simply don’t want to set foot in a country that chose hate. The overview / map of election results is frightening.
    On Social Media I notice far more very nasty comments to all sorts of harmless content – full of very bad cases of schadenfreude. And caught in their idea of reality.

    The sombre but so very kind responses of the many authors I follow are the only positive thing: encouragement not to fall into despair, to help each other, to reach out to the many that will need this support.

    It feels strange to focus on what makes me happy since feeling happy seems totally inappropriate right now. But I am happy that our daughter who was unhappy inheritance first host family in Canada was able t change families and was welcomed by a lovely, lovely family. Less than a month living with them and the thought of having to leave them at the end of June makes her feel sad. It’s such a relief to know she was welcomed to be part of a lovely family.

    And she actually wants us to come and visit. So now we have started to plan on how to fit a two or three week holiday into the schedule of three busy adults into a family holiday. April might not be the best season to travel but that’s the only possible time of year for us.
    Ah well, at least we’ll catch playoff season in Canadia! go Canucks/Oilers/Habs/Senators/ Jets/ Flames (I’ll cheer for any of the Canadian teams), go!

    1. Bugger. Writing from hubby’s MacBook I’m not used to it having such a strong autocorrect… But I guess my babbling is still understandable.

    2. Dodo, I can understand not wanting to visit the US under that person for fear of the visa hassles or other problems at the border that he and his minions might generate. But “a country that chose hate”?? Look at an electoral map! There are vast swathes of the country, indeed most of the regions that one would want to visit, other than to see certain natural wonders, that are blue. (Leaving aside the question of whether the red states chose hate or merely perceived economic security.) But I’m sure Canada is worth an extended visit too.

       I hadn’t known your daughter was having problems with her Canadian host family, but am glad that that got sorted out.

       1. Patrick, I will take time to get rational.
          Yes, there are blue areas.
          But looking from afar it’s shocking how much of the map looks VERY red.
          And what we (only speaking for my circle) saw/see during the past years and especially the campaign is the head of the winning party spewing hateful content.
          And what we see and have to fear based on past experience is that deeds follow words.

          So excuse me if my perception from the outside is simple. I.e. that the majority seems to have said yes to a candidate and his supporters who stand for a hateful message.
          The election gave a horrible signal to the outside world.
          Nuff said. I’ll go now and try to hide from reality.

          1. The blue areas are far more densely populated if that helps.

33. The KC Chiefs are still undefeated. It was a near thing and I thought a miracle occurred.

34. I saw DD get her PHD. All in Latin. Six years of hard work acknowledged. So that was a bright spot.

    And yesterday she had 7 friends for dinner (plus her, me, DH, and my BFF so 11 in a house not really equipped for it but she managed).

    Six were lovely and it was great to meet them. The seventh is actually the BF of one of the sixth and I knew DD thinks he’s bad news so I’m afraid when he paid DD a “compliment” that was really trashing his own GF I called him out on it. And others followed. There was a real satisfaction in it… I gather his GF told my DD she was quite upset with him and not with me so I don’t feel too bad about coming down hard on him. GF is a very feminist barrister with a big feminist public profile —why she puts up with that behavior is hard to know.

    Because I’m in London I’m walking a fair bit each day. That helps.

    Ok, everyone in GB, you have until Jan 19 to see the AMAZING Van Gogh in Arles show at the National Gallery. Truly wonderful. Won’t happen again in our lifetimes. We counted pieces from 40 different museums and collections and that assumes all the private collection pieces came from one collection which I doubt. The highlight of our trip and it’s only day 2.

    Also we went to the Embassy London store and I bought two pairs of shoes and so did BFF. Thought of Lupe. I had to call DH first —not to get permission to spend the money but to confirm he had room in his luggage so we could get them back.

    And then we had a science high tea in a hotel next to the science museum . A little gimmicky but well done, a lot of good food, and fun.

    I’m also slowly coming to grips with four more years of resistance . My plans when we get back to the states include getting subscriptions to any investigative news source owned by a non profit because we will need them (already have Pro Publica and the Guardian; will add Mother Jones , Philadelphia Inquirer, and any others I can find). And calling my senators to ask them to approve all pending judicial nominations during the lame duck session while the Dems still control the Senate (the House has no way on this ). And reactivating my email list of weekly calls people can make.

    1. Very interesting investigations are done by Bellingcat.

35. One last grumble about Grace Burrowes’s lackadaisical approach to historical research: she seems to think the Anglican church of the Regency was far, far more like the (modern) Catholic Church than it was. Anglican bishops did not ordinarily have “livings” to hand out to their clergy. Those were mostly in the gift of various layperson to propose (nominally the bishop did have final approval). Clergymen were not called “priests” in normal parlance. They did not hear confessions. They did not even hold communion services very often. These things started to change for some, not all, Anglicans after the Oxford Movement that arose in the 1830s, but only began to take hold in the 1840s and later. The explanation of why an author would choose to be so slipshod about her research so consistently escapes me. Why be good-enough when with trivially more effort you could be excellent?

    1. The difference between Jane Austen’s church and Charlotte Bronte’s.

36. Meanwhile, I am all-in on chocolate chips in banana bread. I like to make mine with dark brown sugar and only a little bit off white sugar because I like the molasses in it. And maybe because of that I prefer dark chocolate chips rather than milk chocolate ones. Enjoy your loaf!

    1. Brown the butter too.

37. This week it has definitely been necessary to *look* for something to be happy about, but at least I can say that my yard has never looked better.

    Despite the fact that we will be leaving this house within a year, I planted some new things on Saturday, things that may bloom year-round if I can make them happy (lantana; butterflies love it).

    Returned edits for my Advent Calendar story for JMS Books. Signed a contract for an anthology. Trying to get my head in shape to write a <5K short for another. That would make me happy.

    My DH was in a car smash yesterday. He is fine, which is all that really matters. The car may be a write-off; we'll have to see whether the other driver's insurance offers to total it or fix it. Either way, my car is also fine, and I really only need it about 6 days a month, so we can share until we leave LA if necessary.

    Finally, taking on the weekend grocery run led me to a Sprouts Market which I hadn't visited before. Not only was it well-placed for getting in and out (this is a Thing for me) and close to home, it had *everything* I needed. Since I hate making multiple stops, that made me happy.

    1. So glad your DH is ok!

       1. Yikes! Yes!

38. Yarn and wine.

39. I understand 97.7 percent of registered voters here on the island–really, a tied island–voted. Astounding. And this historically deeply, deeply red island went for Harris.

    Unfortunate results are three council and school board members voted in sneaked by their book-banning, Christian nationalism propensities by putting bad stuff on the down low and emphasising all the good stuff of playing well with others.

40. Something I read that has comforted me every time someone horrible is in office, is that the party of the president swings back and forth. Look at the history of parties, and it’s overall very consistent.
    After Obama was elected a second time, I thought this is it, we’re shifting towards more acceptance and caring about / for people. And then Trump was elected… from a stoic perspective, even though it feels like the end of the world, this will pass.
    So I’m scared and dreading the next few years, especially being queer, but I also know it will shift back. And we live in a world where cute Netflix holiday movies feature gay male leads. (Yes i comfort rewatched Single All the Way). Regardless of who’s president, the world and the US has changed.
    I am limiting my news to more local coverage and focusing on my circle of control rather than my circle of concern.
    Hugs to you all.

    1. This! ❤️

41. It rained today. We are currently in a drought watch. Not getting much but still a happy.

    And the opposition is alive if not quite well. I’ve been to two meetings already where people, of all ages, are discussing what we can do. And planning to make the job much less fun for some of our new representatives than they thought it would be.

    Tomorrow, I’ll be back at the county adjudication. The Election Board’s got to count count all those provisional ballots. Making sure every vote is counted makesme happy.

42. “Happiness. Huh.” happened. A sports personality named (improbably) Gronk evidently jumped out of a helicopter into Glorietta Bay, two blocks from the house. I gather a SEALs team was involved, and the whole thing is in aid of Veterans Day. So no insurrection, but celebration. Yay. Choose celebration every time.

43. I had a good week of avoiding as much news as possible (hugs from Canada), doing yoga, and eating well.

    I was supposed to hike yesterday but the condensor pump on the furnace is dying loudly so I spent the day dealing with that.

    I went hiking today instead, just my dog and myself, and it was 5.5k of quiet and solitude.

    Then K2 and I went to see Venom: The Last Dance. Humourous and gross, as always.

    Then I turned the furnace on for a bit and read a book while my mom and K1 watched a show upstairs (the noisy pump makes it unbearable downstairs) until the furnace could be shut off again.

44. I’m in with the rest of you in avoiding news for the foreseeable future, and focusing on small good things. Best thing this week, that dragged me out of my horror-from-afar was deciding to go to Italy next year. I’ve never been, and I desperately want to see Venice.

    1. I had a week there in February 2013. It was cold but not crowded, which was my priority. I should avoid carnival and Easter to autumn if you can. It’s a wonderful place to explore & get lost in. Do make sure you stay in Venice itself rather than on the Lido or across the causeway on the mainland, where many hotels are. And do take the ferry to Torcello, where the original settlement was.

       1. I’m going in March, Jane, which I’m hoping won’t be too bad in terms of crowds. Thanks for the tips!

45. Regency question:  Burrowes is forever talking about the crests being “turned” on noble coaches and similar vehicles.  From context, this means somehow obscuring the crests, and depending on the circumstances, it is done either for anonymity or to simply to signify that the bearer of the crest is not a passenger—rather like in those days, lowering an admiral’s flag from a warship, or in ours, taking down a “baby on board” sign on a car window.  But I can’t find a description of this practice on the internet.  The only way that I can see for the word “turned” to make literal sense would be if the crest on the vehicle door were in some sort of holder and could be turned to face inward, leaving a blank exterior side.  But in illustrations of coaches, the crests just seem to be painted on the doors.  Can anyone explain?

    1. No, but I’m interested in an explanation. Burrowes is the only place I have encountered this phrase.

       1. (I don’t know nearly enough about carriage-making as I would like to.)

    2. I’ve never come across this, Patrick. I have read stories in which a cover of some kind was hung down to hide the crest, which seems more plausible.

       1. Jane, So if this is not completely made up, my alternative non-literal interpretation of “turned” is that it was somehow an idiom for covering them up. But so far that’s just my speculation.

          1. I have very little faith in Burrowes’ historical knowledge, and find her unreadable for that reason. I should try and view them as fantasy fiction, if I were you.

             1. Jane,

                The crest business is not wrong in the same way that Burrowes’s nigh-innumerable other anachronisms and such are wrong. The are such things as speaking tubes or churches that assign clergymen to parishes or whistling teakettles or Boots and Saddles as a cavalry call. I know of no basis for “turned crests.” So either Burrowes found something obscure but right for once, or it’s wrong for the period but has a basis elsewhere, or she misunderstood something, or, I suppose, she dreamed it one night and has taken it for fact ever since.

46. God bless Margaret Renkl

    “Against Panic: A Survival Kit

    https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/11/opinion/against-panic-a-survival-kit.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ZE4.rBVi.8B4DqcyGQFAl&smid=url-share

47. Codgerspace By Alan Dean Foster is on sale today for $1.99 at Amazon. It seemed appropriate so I bought it. I also have to look forward to my library loan. The utterly uninteresting and unadventurous tales of Fred the Vampire accountant. Meanwhile, rewriting and rereading Crusie and Mayer.
    Now that’s competence. Bob and Jennie please don’t ever write a book called very bad things.

48. I’m on my Nth relisten to Getting Rid of Bradley and I may well have read it in print too. But not until this time around did I notice that there sometimes “thermodynamics” sometimes comes out as “thermonuclear dynamics.” At least some of the time, physics teacher Lucy herself says it that way herself, which she most certainly would not have done. So I wondered whether the voice actress said it wrong or if the error slipped in at an earlier stage. … So I borrowed the ebook and did a word search, which returned 3 instances of “thermonuclear dynamics” and only 1 of the correct “thermodynamics.” In Ivan’s words, “What the f—, Miles??”

49. The Board of Elections’ meeting recessed after a last minute ‘discussion’ among the Republican, Democratic and Board’s lawyers. All three were speaking at once. The problem was resolved or possibly will be continued in court. Sigh.

    1. Wow.

50. I had almost the same Sunday: met a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile at Panera and then went thrifting. Bought pottery and books at ridiculously low prices. One piece was a cute little penguin mug. It was a lovely day in spite of underlying election ennui.

51. That’s the best way I’ve heard that said. Don’t live the same trauma twice by worry about what may or may not come to pass. Thank you. May we avoid living some traumas once.