Happiness is Free Delivery

I used to live in the middle of nowhere. I loved it, but it had one big drawback: Nobody delivered. (Well, Amazon delivered, of course, and USPS, but forget ordering groceries or pizza or anything local.). Then I moved to small town in the middle of nowhere and suddenly, I could get pizza delivered, groceries delivered, TARGET delivered. OMG. Add in that my favorite grill is half a block away, and I may never get in my car again. Happiness is efficient people who leave stuff at my door.

What made you happy this week?

93 thoughts on “Happiness is Free Delivery

  1. I have a friend in Milton Keynes, where they can get things delivered by robots – good for odd items you’ve forgotten.

    I’m happy and excited right now because I found a very reasonably priced bare-root greengage and decided to gamble on being able to train it as a two-dimensional tree on my allotment. I’m hoping it’s the same variety I ate last summer – they were so delicious. Also had a great day looking at the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition in Shrewsbury, and then exploring the Roman gallery in the museum with my photographer friend. There was some amazing glass – it’s almost unbelievable that it’s survived intact for two thousand years. And it’s always fun showing Pam round Shrewsbury – she enjoys it so much.

    1. Jane, I adore greengages. We had a huge tree when I was a kid – the sort of tree you could sit high up in the branches and gorge yourself, while pelting anyone else who tried to climb up.

  2. I’ve never lived where delivery was an option, but think I could get used to that part of it. I’ve just had a really nice week. Writing, reading, music, friends…it was a good one.

  3. I live in a village in the middle of nowhere and take away food is a thing from the distant past now. But, my village is very very pretty and most people who live here lovely and welcoming so wouldn’t move for anything. Saves on naughty calories too lol

    1. That was my situation. I loved where I lived and didn’t care about delivery (well, Fed Ex and UPS knew the way, the grocery didn’t). Then the cottage started to fall down around my ears, so I moved. I still love that cottage and would rather live there, but safety, a working oven, and delivery are making up for the loss.

        1. Oh, it sold. It’s going to take a huge amount of work, but it’s lakefront property surrounded by trees. Basically, paradise. It never even when on the market.
          s o

    2. I live in a close suburb of a larger city, so most anything can be delivered. During the pandemic, I really raised the amount I ordered for delivery and haven’t changed much at all. I keep a bottled water and snack station for my delivery folks as they bring my packages upstairs to my door, even the 40 lb bags of cat litter. They are my rock star delivery team.

      On Saturday, I stopped at the community mail hut and ran into my postal lady. It’s the first time we have met in person and we exchanged our mutual appreciation for one another. She leaves me notes thanking me for the snacks when she delivers packages to my door.
      A nice in-person moment.

    3. I usually receive packages at my front door. Sometimes Amazon will follow the little paved walk through a gate to the back and leave it at the door at the side of the house. Once, mystifyingly, they left a package at the basement door and I was convinced that it was lost until I saw the photo attached to the delivery email. To leave it there, they would have had to either walk through the grass and go over a short wooden picket fence, or walk past the front and side door…

      1. We once got a notice that our package had been delivered, but there was no package anywhere that we could find. Right before I was about to call them and complain I noticed the link to the photo of the package after it had been delivered, and we were able to see the Christmas decorations on our *neighbors* porch and were able to go over there and retrieve it.

        1. When things are mis-delivered, in my experience the U.S. Posed Awful is involved. Current case: I ordered two AeroGarden Aerovoir hydroponic reservoirs from Amazon. On February 11, they were reported delivered. No picture. They were “left in the residence mailbox.”

          There are two of them in the picture I linked to… I mean, to which I linked. They are not of a size compatible with a residential mailbox, at least not my mailbox. One of them turned up on February 12. I’m allowing a little more time for the Post Offal to shuffle things about before I complain. This is far from the first time the USPS claimed a delivery date well in advance of actual delivery.

    1. Huh. No such link on my Amazon delivery notices. I just went back to the latest one and looked in case I’d missed something. (That delivery was correct.) A photo would have helped with some earlier misdelivered ones, although the clues would probably be subtle since the misdeliveries have been within my condo development.

  4. The last house I lived in, deliveries almost always arrived at my front door (which was sheltered from the street); as the house was sideways to the street, a few parcels arrived at my back door. Flat block on a quiet street with a carport linked to the front door, it was lovely.

    This house? My driveway is steep with a hairpin bend, so they just dump everything at the local post office agency. I don’t mind too much, because the ladies who run it know my name (and I’ve only been here a month!), and as it’s also a cafe, if I’m early enough I force myself to buy a cake 🍰

    Amazon does deliver – but it’s been left halfway down the driveway, wedged under the lid of my bin at the edge of the road, and very very occasionally at my front door!

    1. My house has two very obviously used doors, where the majority of packages are left, and both are convenient. But it also has an additional … gotta count … five locations, which are quite obviously NOT used (state of disrepair or blocked by furniture, or just a weird place to leave stuff), which a few delivery dudes like to dump packages. So it can be a bit of a treasure hunt if the packages aren’t in the first two places I look.

    2. Fed Ex has delivered Chewy packages to me and dumped them by the garage, instead of taking them the next 15 feet along the cement walk to my porch. I talked to Chewy, and they put a note on my account to tell Fed Ex to deliver to the porch. When that didn’t work, I made a large cardboard sign to put by the garage when a shipment was expected. Still no success. Then I edited it to say “Please deliver to the DOOR” and asked Chewy to make that change, too. Since I order large bags of pet food and heavy boxes of cat litter, they are too bulky and heavy for me to carry. I have to move them end over end. The box even has a note on it saying “Box may be heavy.” That finally worked. Sometimes I wonder.

      1. Hi Jan: I’m exactly the opposite.

        I have a feral cat shed in the back and order large bags of dry cat food and my one indoor cat, Louie, has kidney problems so I order his special food (17 lbs and over $100, ugh) in the large bag as well.

        The packages from Chewy are stored in my garage and I prefer them to be delivered there, so I leave a sign posted on my front door that says “Large/heavy packages to the back door” which is right next to my garage. A front door delivery means I have to cart them through the house, out through the breezeway and into the garage. A back door/garage door delivery means I can put them right in the garage. Sometimes, I can even catch him if I’m home and he’ll put it in the garage for me. The FedEx guy knows and even delivers small packages to my back door. That’s not ideal, but I usually come in the back door so I see them.

        1. It doesn’t seem right or fair, but by giving them a Thanksgiving card saying ‘I’m thankful for you’ with a generous tip & they’ll not only leave packages wherever you want but also carry them somewhere you want that’s not convenient. I’ve know one of my delivery people for years & they’ll bring heavy things into my house.

      2. I live in the country, and only go in and out the back door, which conveniently leads into a mudroom that I can leave unlocked even if I go out and lock the inside door. It’s the perfect place to leave packages, because it is protected from the weather, and can’t be seen from the street.

        So do all my packages get left there? Of course not. I have large signs on both the front door and the back door asking that packages be left inside the mudroom. Instructions with FedEx and UPS (the FedEx guys even get the instructions as they deliver–I’ve heard them listening to the instructions). My regular folks are pretty good. But the subs…oy. Some packages get left at the corner of the back patio, where the weather can get at them (and yes, I get heavy Chewy boxes too). I once had a package left in the middle of the garage, where I almost ran it over. Often they leave them in front of the door, right under the sign that says, “Please leave packages inside mudroom.” SIGH

    3. My FedEx, Amazon and UPS packages are generally taken to the front door, on a small roofed porch. Generally keeps them safe from rain. USPS puts them by the garage door – no shelter or anything. Luckily nothing has been ruined yet, but it is definitely her thing – not going the further 6 feet to the door – just scampering up the flat drive to the garage.

      I do adore my UPS guy. I hadn’t realized I was expecting big heavy packages – but he took advantage of the garage being open – as it rarely is – and put my four huge packages in there. He also does that for other things, if he sees the garage is open.

    4. The majority of my deliveries end up on the sunroom porch. Fairly convenient, except when it rains. We do have a covered carport only a few steps past the stairs to the sunroom porch.

      Walmart+ delivers to the basement steps past the carport.

    1. Where are you located, Natasha? I’m very worried about the dwindling snowpack here in Edmonton, AB, too, even though the mild temperatures make life momentarily easier.

  5. Happiness this week is getting good results from a breast biopsy and breathing easy again after having held my breath for a week waiting for the lab results.

    Oh, and getting the audiobook of Lavender’s Blue!

    1. Hurray for good news! Must be a huge relief. Happy for you! And the audiobook is amazing. You have hours of entertainment ahead of you. 🙂

  6. I’m cautiously happy as I should be getting a redundancy package for leaving my job in April – so long as no other store managers in my area leave in the meantime. If I do, their job goes to me and quite frankly, I don’t want it. My plan is to take April off and declutter the flat, get rid of Mum’s car, and relax. Then travel in May and June (a cross-country Canada trip is definitely on the agenda but I have no other firm plans). Back home for July, turn into a lazy person watching Wimbledon and the Olympics during the summer. By this time I will have magically decided what to do with the rest of my life and found a job to start in September… hopefully.

    Having the money to do this has come about thanks to circumstances I never wanted and did not ask for, but I am very very lucky to be able to plan for five months off and two months travelling within that without causing financial ruin. I will not take that for granted.

  7. Happiness was Boskone with guest of honor Ben Aaronovitch (did you know he pronounces his last name Aaron-OH-vitch, emphasis on the third syllable, not second, but he’s okay with Aar-ON-o-vitch). Had a fangirl moment sharing a brief elevator ride alone with him and not being too tongue-tied to ask how he ended up with Kobna Holdbrook-Smith as the Rivers of London narrator (publisher chose, Ben okayed).

    For those who wanted updates: He’s working on an Abigail novella set in Wales! And there’s a Nightingale novella that I believe is already finished and coming out this fall, set in the 1920s.

    Originally, Peter was going to have a different girlfriend in each book, but, as Ben said, “Peter wouldn’t do it.” I also loved Ben’s comment on why Beverly’s perfect for Peter, because (paraphrasing here): there will never be a time where the bad guy shows up at her house to threaten her to get Peter to do something, because the bad guy would end up like the Russian mafia guys in one of the graphic novels (from before she met Peter, I think), where she basically turned them into her house servants.

    Some of the writers here will appreciate what he calls his “ooh, shiny” method of research/writing. He sees/hears/reads something shiny and throws it into the book (like the foxes) and the next thing he knows, they become a big part of his story world or if it’s a minor character who was shiny, they become an ongoing secondary character (like Sara — the Somalian PC, I may be remembering her name wrong — who was originally supposed to be a one-scene character, never to be seen again).

    A good bit of advice for writers — avoid over-explaining, and keep some mystery. Like with Molly. He still doesn’t know her backstory completely (didn’t even realize what kind of creature she was until he wrote Foxglove Summer), because it hasn’t mattered for the story. (This flies in the face of some advice that says you need to know every single detail about important characters before you write them. He prefers to get to know them as he writes them.)

    And finally, it won’t come as a surprise how he views the major theme (motif?) of his writing, but I liked the way he put it — he’s drawn to writing “beaches,” meaning where different things meet up, like Black and White meeting in Peter; the posh Nightingale meets the working-class Peter; the magic of the Folly meets the magic of the Rivers; police procedure meets with magic; and so on.

    1. Gin, THANK YOU for passing on the AaronOVich information from that convention. It was amazingly detailed and interesting, and I’m so glad you went and even gladder that you shared this. I’m going to go re-read his series as soon as possible!!

      1. Thanks for the correct pronunciation, though why does Kobna Holdbrook-Smith pronounce it: Aar-ON-o-vitch ?

        1. Not even getting the author’s name right is particularly bad, but I’ve long noticed that the pronunciation standards for audiobooks are much lower than in most other forms of paid voice work. Narrators annoyingly often get personal names wrong, geographical names wrong, foreign words wrong, even rare English words wrong. I take it that this is the tradeoff for working fairly quickly with limited opportunity for research or correction, and that this in turn keeps the cost down to something fairly reasonable. So we will probably have to live with it, at least until technology improves or the economy grows to the point where our descendants can afford more expensive audiobooks.

    2. Gin,

      I’m glad that Boskone went smoothly for you, and thank you for the bits of Aaronovich wisdom. I hadn’t come across the pronunciation of Aaronovich either, but surnames are general a crapshoot. I now know that Georgette Heyer pronounced her name “Hair,” and that Dorothy Sayers pronounced hers “Sairs,” (as did an American athlete of that surname), but I still tend to say Higher and Say-ers. Clifford Simak’s is correctly pronounced with a short i, but most people give it a long one, as in Simon.

    3. This is fabulous, thank you so much for sharing everything. I love those books, and he’s a terrific writer. Maybe that’s my next re-read binge. So good.

    4. I probably should have also said that Aaronovitch was also a very kind person to fans, from what I saw of the interactions. I’m always happy when I see that authors I admire are good to their readers, not impatient when we get tongue-tied, not stand-offish, etc. I was in a fairly full elevator with him another time this weekend, and someone, not a convention attendee, heard him joking with a friend, and gushed over his British accent. It was kinda’ funny, in that it was clear she had no idea she was speaking to someone the rest of the elevator’s occupants, all wearing con badges, knew was a celebrity, and I could imagine some celebrities getting a bit snitty in the circumstances, with a sort of “don’t you know who I am?” attitude, but he just politely thanked her and said he was from London. He also chatted with anyone who approached him before/after panels without getting impatient, as far as I could see.

    5. It’s not posted on Amazon US but I checked Amazon UK and there is a novella for Sep 5, 2024, called the Masquerades of Spring. I’m looking forward!

    1. I just saw that on the Washington Post, and it is very enthralling. Poor Jackie has had a struggle bringing her eggs to life. The photo of her covered with snow, sitting on her eggs, is endearing.

      1. The site is addictive. I find myself checking in regularly, to watch a large sitting bird looking around.

        1. I don’t even remember – probably something about doing what you are designed to do, like the eagles do. But I do remember hearing about the Big Bear Lake eagle cam! And how it can be totally addictive. (He did cite numbers – between 8,000 – 13,000 other people are also watching at the same time.)

          1. Honestly, the male showed up with a fish for the female yesterday and my 14-year old stepdaughter watched her eat it for ten minutes. We couldn’t take our eyes off it.

  8. Happiness is a book store. We drove about an hour yesterday to a larger city (Penn State for those who like football) and went to their thrift stores, and Barnes and Noble were right across from Goodwill. It was so nice to be surrounded by physical books again. They are pretty and they smell good. Then we had dinner at a fabulous Korean restaurant, which is also something we don’t have at home.

    1. Small world! I’m about 45 minutes east of Penn State (State College) and love trips to Trader Joe’s, Home Goods, and Wegman’s. I keep hoping to visit the arboretum too when my knee is up to walking.

      1. Kim, you are so lucky to have a nearby Wegmans. I used to live a minute drive from one but now it’s a 45 -60 minute drive to get to the nearest one. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, Wegmans is a grocery store, but so much more than that. You have to visit one to really understand.

        1. I have given up on my local Wegmans. Price hikes and they replaced a lot of their international food brands with the Wegmans brand equivalent. I am snobby about my fish sauce.

          Thankfully, a little independent Asian grocery opened up and I use that to supplement my Aldi shopping and Farmer’s market hauls.

        2. I’d heard about the mystique of Wegmans for a long time before my town got one. I was a bit disappointed in the reality. It has a lot of good points and I shop there frequently, but it’s not really better than my available alternatives, which I also use; it just has different pluses and minuses. The alternative stores are essential for some items regularly my list, in fact.

  9. Happiness is a kid who gets a minor cold and not the Covid/flu/strep thing going around. Happiness is a nearly-well kid who got two days out of school and still managed to catch up on all his homework before Friday.

    Happiness is also a mom who spent two days cooking soup, missing work, and watching a thirteen episode (which is rare to have one that short) Turkish drama, Gulcemal. It’s a dark (I repeat, dark) retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and it is toxic angsty fun. The villain is perfect. It’s his birth mother, and she’s a compelling unskippable villain because they made her so plausible -a woman forced to marry a man she doesn’t love, has two kids, and leaves them when first love comes back and demands she leaves them. Oof! You can see what she does to herself psychologically in order to cut them out of her life. Brutal, but so watchable.

    They put in all the classic Beauty and the Beast bits – locking her in a dungeon, refusing to make her dinner, letting her go. It was toxic and dark and also guilty-pleasure fabulous, and the cast was so beautiful. Turkish shows usually last hundreds of episodes, and the writing can go off the rails by about episode 30. I’m still bitter that they killed the hero (spoiler alert) in the last episode of Kara Seveda. It negated about a month of my tv-viewing life, so watching one of these dramas is a bit of a gamble. But this one delivered on an HEA that seemed impossible right up until the last episode. It wasn’t perfect (yes, I am looking at you scenes where the mom gets past the bodyguards twice and just stands at the window watching everyone), but it was much needed fun.

    PS – I watch them with a subscription to Watchturks.com. Their search engine is ridiculous, but I scroll to the bottom, hit” Turakish series” and then start typing the name slowly. If I type it in full, nothing pops up, but if I am patient and type only the first three letters, a picture will pop up on letter three or four, and I can click it. Or I can search all 13 pages of shows. Lol, there is no point in actually hitting enter on the search. It never works.

  10. Locking her in a dungeon? Refusing to make her dinner? Those are not traditional bits of beauty and the beast as I know it. Fascinating.

      1. Also, there is that part where the beast says if she won’t come out to eat dinner with him, she won’t get any dinner at all.

    1. Fair point. In the classic fairytale version, her father is captured by the beast and Beauty saves her dad by becoming his replacement. That happens in this version, too. I thought in the original that the father was locked in a cell in his castle, and that definitely happens in this one. In the Disney version, he declares she won’t eat without him, and they create a version of that in the this one, along with the idea that he lets her go and she still returns. So, a mix of the classic and Disney versions. It definitely hits all the big plot points, but in a more realistic way. Definitely toxic, but definitely fun.

  11. My major happy is weather that permits getting outside to walk, and one of the Opossums showing up while I am still awake to eat the birdseed and cat food crumbs I leave out. Only one of my cats eats the canned food, and hardly ever finishes it. So I scrape the remainder off into a carryout container and put it out for the Opossums. Sometimes a raccoon comes, and I chase it away, or a neighborhood cat who is not skinny enough to be a feral cat.

  12. I was happy for a week of sun and warmer days, although it’s over now and we’re expecting another snow storm. Ah, upstate NY in the winter, where you can get whiplash just from watching the Weather Channel.

    I live too far out in the country to get delivery, but most Saturday nights an old friend comes over for dinner and watching TV or a movie, and picks something up for us to eat. (I pay for mine, of course, but it means that once a week I kind of get food delivered.) He had a cold for the last couple of weeks so we couldn’t get together, so I was happy to have him back last night.

    I have a REALLY big happy that I can’t share yet (no, it’s not the novel, alas). Hopefully by the end of the month.

  13. I ordered a suitcase online this eeek and it arrived in 2 days. It’s in my bedroom waiting for me to start packing for our trip to Mexico – less than a week to go.

    I had a lovely FaceTime chat with my eldest niece. We stay in touch via IG but it was great to have a longer conversation.

    DH and I had dinner with friends. We don’t see them very often despite living in the same city. It was an enjoyable evening.

  14. I saw my optometrist last week and he had only good things to say about my eye health, which was lovely. Of course, because my distance vision has improved with age, I need new, expensive gas permeable contacts, but I knew that when I made the appointment so all good.

    I am more than half way through my annual “fit in my jeans” period of virtue, and had a treat day yesterday, which was fun. The custard pakzi I bought turned out to be a standard issue donut, and raspberry instead of custard, but still enjoyed it.

    Found out yesterday around 5:30 that a friend is going today to visit someone we love who is about to start chemo. Despite a social activity, I managed to whip out three hats (one of which came out a bit odd, despite using the size hook they said to) and drove them over to him this morning so he can take them with him to Canada. Even if none of them work out for her, I know she will be pleased to receive them, and I am super pleased to get them to her in a timely fashion without international shipping hassles.

  15. Last weekend I spent visiting a cousin who was in SF for work and it was great fun. I had a job interview this week, which I have low expectations for but it’s nice to have gotten one. That one’s with the state and I’m still trying to get reassigned at my current organization (which pays a lot more than the state, the pay cut scares me), but who knows there. And I finished one of my sweaters this week, which is great.

    Fun fact: a friend of mine went to the crush’s business yesterday and said he was acting weird and mopey and not talking much. Crush also didn’t get into a show he wanted to get into. I of course have no idea if any of that has to do with me, but I’m…happy he’s unhappy?

    1. If nothing else, it reminds you of his feet of clay. He’s not prince charming, he’s just another self involved theater nerd. And it sounds like you handle disappointment better than he does.

  16. I’m happy that the meeting of my book club went pretty well.  A new cat crisis prevented the same couple that had missed last time from making it again.  (Evidently this resulted from particularly bad timing, not that the cat has needed constant care all month.)  It was particularly unfortunate because one of the couple had nominated the book.  On the other hand we did pick up one more attender than last month, and the transcription that app she, hearing impaired, was trying out evidently worked pretty well to counteract not being able to lip-read because of face masks.

    In the past, sometimes all attendees have disliked the book and it has been frustrating not to have the nominator there to defend it (or to absorb our ire).  Fortunately this time everyone present gave an up rating to The Galaxy and the Ground Within by Becky Chambers.   We all did agree that it was good, not great.  Tropes standard in fiction, if not always in sf, such as isolating a bunch of strangers who can learn about each other and bond, and rallying at the crisis at the sickbed.  And some very iffy science, some of it seemingly borrowed from the ever-iffy science of sf movies.  It would have helped me with the general background if I’d more recently read the previous novels of the Wayfarers series.  (Shared universe and a few overlapping characters, not a continuous story.)  I did point out that there exists a Wayfarers wiki, which helps some.

  17. Happiness this week was a very low-demand vacation. We planned nothing aside from the actual lodging. Due to Pacific storms, traffic was light and humans were scarce – ideal! And we gave ourselves permission to do absolutely nothing on the days we didn’t feel like going anywhere. It was restful, particularly for DH, who routinely works 6 days a week.

    Also happy: Scruffian coped well with her stay at Wag Hotel, though she much prefers being home, on her chair, in the sun, in front of the window. 🙂

  18. My happy this week was reconnecting with a beloved person, even though she called to give me bad news. I started reading with her when she was 6 and her family was concerned that she would have difficulty in school because they only spoke Thai at home and work. She is thirty now and I haven’t had very regular contact with her since she became a cop after she graduated college. And the fact that I dragged my feet about replacing my phone when the old one died didn’t help matters. But we finally connected yesterday and she told me that her father has stage 4 lung cancer. She is his only child and her mother, who abandoned her as a child, is back in Thailand and seems to be only interested in any money her ex may have saved up (as though there will be any left after he is gone!) Trying to get them help is complicated by the fact that her Dad doesn’t want people to know that he is so ill. But he is the one who told her to call me, so I think he might be more concerned with getting her some support than he is with keeping it completely private.

    I told her to check out the American Cancer Society and American Lung Association websites for caregiver resources, but if anyone here has some ideas of places where she can get some good information and support, I’d be grateful for the information. I’d advise her to go to the Buddhist temple she grew up in, but I think her Dad would feel that that would be a violation of his privacy.

    Another part of this reunion that makes me happy is that now that she finally has her own apartment, she got herself a Dachshund puppy. Proud parents have nothing on her for taking pictures. Last night she sent me 38 pictures of her puppy , including his diploma from puppy school. He was so tiny when she got him and his snout did not yet have the distinctive length of his breed, but later pictures showed more expected proportions. Every year I would ask her what she wanted for her birthday and every year she asked for a puppy. I’m glad she finally live somewhere that she can have one.

    The eerie part is that she named him Jackson. When I was 13, my sister gave me the nick name of Jackson Delaware and half the people I met in college didn’t know that it wasn’t my real name. Since that was decades before I met her, I never told her those stories, but it still felt a bit like a “Twilight Zone” moment when she told me the dog’s name.

    1. You may want to contact hospice services and ask questions on her behalf. It would also help to ask her to bring up the helpfulness of hospice to her Dad (he and the family can benefit from before and after help with medical issues and grief issues). Taf

  19. Getting deliveries are great, they can be like presents to yourself even if they are practical things. The whole family was round, my sister made a celebration cake, it had wording on the top, then she set fire to the wording decoration and the picture appeared underneath. My sister is awesome. It was a strawberry tea, passion fruit chiffon cake with buttercream

  20. GP called Friday to tell me that the bloodwork and specimen of urine came back stellar, as always. It’s confusing because surely there should be deficiencies by now? Worst yet is however that the gastroenterologist had sent message back that they are not going to do any further investigations into my symptoms. Why? Because “extended examinations were done back in 2014-2015, so we see no reason to look further into this”.
    I just… I don’t have words. For the life of me I can not make this reasoning sound…reasonable. Because they looked at things 10 years ago nothing can be wrong now? Nothing can happen or change in 10 years time? I… I don’t know. I don’t know what they want from me. Possibly that I start puking up everything I try to eat and faint 68 times per day. Am I sick enough then to be looked at? How far does this have to go?
    GP said we should take the weekend to consider whether we want to go for a second opinion or not. We’ll request it tomorrow.
    My happy and my gratefulness for this week go to MIL. She’s always there. Always. I love her so, so much.

    1. I’m so sorry. And the excuse is just so ridiculous.

      There’s an ultra-rare version of my genetic bone disorder that’s caused by really tiny tumors that hide in places that are VERY difficult to find, and it often takes about ten years for them to get a diagnosis, even though there’s ONE SIMPLE TRICK (just kidding — one simple blood test) that would put them on the right track, except that blood phosphorus levels are so seldom abnormal for anyone (most people get plenty of phosphorus in their diet, and generally pee away any excess, so it’s never high or low, unless you have a rare disease), so no one ever orders the blood test. But if they did, it would be way out of whack, and they’d know to look for one of a very small number of possibilities. But a lot of these patients (well, there aren’t many worldwide, so even just a few saying the same thing is a high percentage of the total population) never get this test, or if they do, it’s ignored, and it takes, quite literally, 10 or more years of vague (fatigue) and/or non-quantifiable (severe chronic pain) symptoms before they get a diagnosis.

      So, running the same old tests, and getting the same old results is pointless. They need to run the UNUSUAL tests that have never been run before!

    2. I’m baffled and frustrated on your behalf, Shass. Response seems bureaucratic and uncaring. I hope the second opinion is more responsive (and, in an ideal world, results in repercussions for that gastroenterologist). If the fault is with your national health system (maybe facing tight budgetary constraints), perhaps there should be a fallback plan of seeking care abroad out of pocket?

    3. I think you’re going to have to keep insisting on second opinions until you find someone who can help you. Don’t let yourself be pushed away. I’m guessing it’ll be hard to stand up to the system, but you cannot go on as you are. I hope you find good help very soon.

      1. Another possibility for Shass would be to contact a medical student to see if she/he might have colleagues interested in looking for information on symptoms like she has been having. I read recently about a 3rd year student who received an award for doing a paper on an unusual disease or condition. He suggested a simple but unlikely test that turned out to diagnose a problem that had no prior explanation or way or making identification. And people with the need and opportunity to do research in medical journals would have a reason to be alert for that pattern of symptoms. This would require Shass to have a writeup on what had been tried before by the doctors, along with a good description of the symptoms to pass on.

        Shass, I hope very much that you can find answers and at last some relief!

        1. Good ideas Jinx, I hope they help a second opinion doctor figure out what Shass needs! You have to be a strong advocate for yourself, and recruit family members and friends to help as well. I am always grateful that I had such good care from UCSD Healthcare more than two decades ago when I dealt with breast cancer! They had team meetings for each patient’s benefit (nurses, radiologist, chemo staff), and I think that really helped. Make sure each member of the team gets a copy of the write-up. Good luck Shass! Taf

    4. I am astounded! What a stupid thing for a doctor to say. Hope you get a better result, soon.

    5. I agree with Jane completely. I know we Yanks are an excessively litigious society, but there are times when the fear of loss of reputation and income is the only thing that makes people take a fresh look at things. And the idea that your condition can’t change in 10 years is ludicrous. Does your local newspaper or television station have an investigative reporter? If the runaround you are getting was exposed to the public, would the hospital GI department be so quick to write off your symptoms?
      What are your options for going to a different hospital for testing and diagnosis? If nothing else, can you consult a different doctor at this hospital? Can you find a place where the whole team brainstorms together (a la the Mayo Clinic?) Jin’s experience with needing to have unusual tests run might get better response if you had a wider array of expertise and experience involved in the consultations.

    6. Of course, you want a second opinion. That’s just insane. “We checked you ten years ago. What could go wrong in that time?” I mean, WTF?

      1. My instinct is to go back to this doc and say you can’t be serious. But realistically if you succeed then you end up with an incompetent jerk for a doctor. So yeah, second opinion.
        And I like the med student idea as an addition ( not instead of).

  21. We can have everything delivered here. I get tired of the fees but we still do it sometimes. I also love pick up orders. They are free at Walmart if you spend more than 30$. And you can specify your own bags & they bring them out & put them in your bags. It definitely cuts down on impulse spending. Groceries are so expensive here.

    I am happy to be feeling almost well. Still don’t have all my energy back but that’s to be expected.

    Had conversations with several people on the phone this week that were nice catchups. I especially love catching up with my granddaughter. Her brother was in the background this time so I got some catchup with him also.

    As always on Sunday I am happy that this is the last day of my work week & I will be off Mon, Tue, Wed – YAY!

  22. I am happy that the new kitten I adopted (named Miri) and older kitten (Pippin) and getting along very well. I found them sleeping on the loveseat with Miri in her cat bed and Pippin curled up near it, with his front paw reaching out to touch her hind paw. It was really cute.

    1. Any chances you’ll post photos on instagram? If so, please tag it #workingwednesdaypix or #arghink

  23. I’m happy that my keyfob takes the same size battery as my pedometer and scale.

    I’m happy that you can make fudge from a 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk and a 12 oz bag of chocolate chips; just melt them together and let set.

    I’m happy that the forecasts for big winter storm that’s coming seem to be diminishing the closer it gets. yay!

    1. We can get deliveries here. We get so many that I check the front porch before locking up for the night.

      Since I like food shopping and cooking deliveries do not enrich my life that much (deliveries are usually for DH).

      Things that are making me happy—the snow drops are in bloom! In little bunches where I don’t recall planting them, but too big to have naturalized from my garden helpers the squirrels.

      Either I forgot planting them (that parathyroid brain fog was bad, it’s entirely possible) or I didn’t notice them the last couple of years (see brain fog).
      Or both.

      I am mostly over my bad cold and sleeping better.

      Mom got the locks changed Thursday and I think my brother was able to set her up with a lock box system that will discourage her from leaving a key in the mailbox in case she forgets hers. (The 48 hours where she planned to do that were…not good.) My brother was there this weekend and since SDW didn’t show up at the time mom suggested to get her stuff out of the house he packed it up and put it in the garage where she can get it without getting in to the house. How? Because she has mom’s garage opener. And car key. And is still on mom’s car insurance.

      Mom sent her the script my uncle drafted saying that mom shouldn’t see SDW any more so that mom can be a credible witness when SDW goes to trial. This is incredible —in the sense of not believable by anyone who knows anything about the courts. First, 97% of all criminal cases end in plea bargains not trials. Second mom wasn’t a witness to the acts in question so no judge would allow her to testify. Third no defense attorney of any ability at all would call a frail 86 year old woman to testify on behalf of someone charged with physical and financial abuse of a senior—it would just look like the defendent had her hooks into a new victim. But mom apparently expects to be a witness so we hope SDW will take this as mom being on her side and not attack mom for cutting her off.

      Now we wait to see what SDW does. I don’t see her giving up without an effort to get back in mom’s life. Frail elderly woman who is financially secure, lives alone, and until now has swallowed everything she said ? Nah.

      I can’t remember if I told you all that we gave mom a safe word. Not something I ever expected to do. I’m pretty sure if someone wrote a book about this people would find it far fetched.

  24. I have all kinds of delivery options available to me, but I also live so close to most things that I choose the pickup option out of guilt. I knew I was really sick right after Christmas when I ordered takeout from my local Chinese and couldn’t bear the thought of walking the three blocks to get it.

    Happiness is nearing the end of our crazy busy period for the quarter and knowing that my Italy trip is mere weeks away. Very much looking forward to Neapolitan pizza and lots and lots of archaeology.

  25. Before I was able to wfh, any kind of shopping had to be squeezed into the little free time I had. It made me very grateful the convenience of delivery. And even now I am thankful for curbside service because honestly trekking through a big store for just one or two things is such a time waster even if I do have more of it now.

    As an aside, I have long believed that it wasn’t the internet killing small businesses. I think it was the insane pace of modern life, and that the internet just filled a necessary niche for a lot of people. I might still avoid the big box stores, but I do more with small stores now.

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