Working Wednesday, May 31, 2023

I had a whole list of things to be done by June 1, and none of them are going to get done. I’d be depressed about that but the sun is shining and it was a random deadline, nothing is actually due, and I had way too much on that list. So I’ve decided my new deadline is July 1 because . . . uh, I think I’m going to give up on deadlines and just work.

What are you working on this week?

108 thoughts on “Working Wednesday, May 31, 2023

  1. I’ve just got the sleeves to set in the new coat I’m making. I’ve had the fabric sitting there for years waiting for me to get my act together. It’s a beautiful midnight blue, with constellations in gold all over it, and it makes me happy every time I see it.
    I’ve also been brave today, and applied for two jobs.
    And I’ve made progress with one of my fanfic projects. So things have happened today.

  2. My grandmother passed. She was 93 and lost to dementia for years. It was very peaceful. And before that she was a very difficult person for most of her life.

    Still, there is an amazing amount of stuff to be done when someone dies. And a fair amount of emotions all stirred up.

    And, of course, regular life still goes on and must be dealt with as well. Good news is that I have a small show at a local bistro for the month of June. Bad news is that I am hanging it tomorrow and am not ready. I hate procrastinating, but sometimes it happens. So that is what I will be working on tonight.

    1. Lupe – I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad it was a peaceful exit. I hope that gives you comfort!

      1. Thanks! She didn’t have a great quality of life for a long time, and hasn’t known who I am for the last handful of years. She has really been gone for a while, so this is good. I was expecting to feel relief, but there was more sadness than I thought, and more from other family members, which is odd because they weren’t particularly involved with her care. I am trying to be as patient as humanly possible.

        1. ‘weren’t particularly involved’ often means ‘complicated casserole of regret & shame’ expressed as grief. I hope those other people’s feelings don’t wash too heavily onto you and amplify your own sadness. Sorry for your loss and best wishes for your art show. Ready is as ready does! <3

          1. I know that you are right, but it’s still annoying, especially coming from the cousin who lived under two miles away and never visited. It was a 40 minute drive for me. Grumble grumble. I will let it all out here so as to be a delight at the service.

        2. My mom is currently in a home with dementia. It started in her later sixties and was bewildering and rough for the years she was still home with my dad. Started with personality changes- being late for things by an hour or more, hoarding groceries, compulsive shopping at thrift stores for clothing and costume jewelery. She was taken up for shoplifting at Safeway. Hitting people.
          This from a responsible nurse and mother– at first you are trying to find the person you know in there, thinking she can snap out of it…
          I try to visit at least weekly now but it wrecks me for hours afterward.
          I will not put my kids through that. That is a vow.

          1. It is so hard to watch them slip away. And I don’t blame you for sparing your kids. It’s good of you to go, even after the person you loved is gone. We went more to check on her care than to visit. I fervently hope that no one else I love will need to be institutionalized in a home. It was necessary, but I don’t wish that life on anyone.

    2. Emotions and tasks. That equals unsettling time for a while. I’m sorry to hear it.

    3. My sympathies on your loss. The administrative parts can be both depressing and sometimes strangely comforting. Hope that it is a smooth process.

      1. Lupe — I’m sorry about your grandmother’s death and the resulting responsibilities and stress.

        My mother, like her mother before her, died after wearing out a lot of family and friends. I worked hard on her obituary — trying to remind everyone of what it had meant for a poor girl from a chicken farm to put herself through Juilliard. And how much she had helped others over the years. Writing the obit was really important to me. She would have loved it because it was so damn long.

        Yay for your show! Procrastinating means that you have been mulling it over deep in your mind. I predict that it will look great.

        1. “My mother, like her mother before her, died after wearing out a lot of family and friends.” This resonated with me. Not my grandmother, but my mom. And, I remind myself she also did a lot of good. So sorry for your loss, Lupe.

        2. Lol. Thank Elizabeth,

          but I am procrastinating wiring paintings to hang and making show cards for them. Annoying stuff. Must finish tonight. Argh.

          1. At least it will keep you busy enough that you won’t have to deal with the emotional stew around your mother’s death for a day or 2.

            I am sorry for your loss, both now and for all the years she no longer recognized you.

    4. Sharing this quote from Hamlet (in which I played Ophelia as a high school sophomore, and we rehearsed for 10 weeks, so I know rafts and rafts of quotes from it):

      “Thou knowest, ’tis common. All that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity.”

      I always find it comforting, that sense of death just being part of a natural progression. I hope you do, too.

      1. I love that, thank you Jeanne. I’ve asked to write and give the eulogy for my sister when she passes. My favourite sister. I will use that. Thanks to good old William too.

    5. I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandparents had everything as organized as people could, but it still took me nine months to complete everything and get their house on the market after they passed. It’s a lot, and the emotions make it rough going. Sending you emotional peace and stamina <3

    6. Lupe it’s OK to feel both things. I know you know that, but sometimes emotion gets in the way. The enormous amount that has to be done at somebody’s death can be overwhelming. I hope you can take your time and that it doesn’t all have to be done at once. Good luck with the exhibition and enjoy it! Blessings

    7. I’m so sorry for your loss.

      My grandma also had dementia before she passed away – aside from a very brief flash the last time I saw her, she didn’t recognise any of us but knew we were friendly. The sadness kicked in a lot later for me as I remembered who she was before the dementia and missed her dearly. I hope you’ve got lots of mechanisms to help you be patient with the other family members… not easy!

      1. Thank you!

        Mostly all the family is being pretty good. I am just bracing for craziness. Sometimes I over anticipate.

    8. I’m sorry, Lupe. My mother went like that. It really is as if they died years ago so it’s a blessing when they pass, but still an ending. Take care.

  3. This past weekend was three days off work, with a Monday holiday, and I spent time all three days with my quilting buddies as we get ready for a big new project. There was reviewing the fabrics we had brought from home, and two separate shopping trips to supplement what we already had. It was great fun.

    Meanwhile DH planned on repairing the deck all weekend but was thwarted by the weather – rainy, cool, damp – not like the typical beginning of summer in North Carolina. I did assist in retrieving materials on Friday night, but I think the bulk of that project will be pushed off til next weekend.

    I did finally get to finishing the top I thought would only take a weekend.

    I plan on quilting it on Friday, so maybe it will be totally done by this time next week.

    1. Using snail’s trail as a border wouldn’t have occurred to me but it is an absolute knockout. Looks just like stylized waves.

  4. I know this isn’t the answer to the question but I have to write this…my nephew (who lives with us) got into law school! I cannot tell you how excited I am. We have been waiting for the law schools to get back to him and nail biting the whole time. This is such a triumph for our family. I am the only person on either side of our family who has graduated from university – until next week when he convocates from his undergrad. So that will make two of us. We come from a working class family. His father (my brother) has been a driver all his life and lives now at a near subsistence level. His mother is an immigrant from Indonesia – a lawyer there but here she has been a cashier at Walmart. My nephew going into law school will break that cycle of poverty. This really is a victory.

    1. Congratulations! I hope he will enjoy it. There are lots of directions to take a law degree.
      My son is also starting law in September. He did some canvasing in a recent election here and would like to do something political or in the public sector.
      I hear the first year is a ton of work and then it gets lighter and more interesting as they specialize more.

        1. University of Alberta in my hometown. He only applied here– wants to live at home still.
          Queens is prestigious! Very cool!
          Patrick, my kid, was working for the NDP ( progressive). They did pretty well, considering this is the texas of the north. He is getting home tonight from a trip with some buddies exploring Japan!

    2. Tammy — Your tale really moves me. Your family is the reason that many colleges and universities encourage students to apply who don’t have a degreed family background. You and your nephew have places to go and you’re determined.

    3. Congratulations to you and nephew! Like you, I was the first one in my family to get a higher education. And my daughter was the second one to do so. (In my family of origin, there was a stigma attached to aiming higher than our blue-collar roots, so I really had to fight against the tide.)

      1. When I went to university I lived with my grandmother because she had a house here in Toronto. She used to ask me regularly: “why don’t you stop going to school and get a real job?”

        1. A real job, jeepers.
          I have a family friend who is in a boutique ( which I gather means small) law firm in Toronto if he wants a connection when it comes time to article.

    4. Congratulations to your nephew and to all of you who support his endeavors!

  5. I’m redoing a lot of undone work. I’m coming out of burnout and it’s so weird because I have good days and bad days within a feeling of overall recovery.

    1. Burnout is such a nightmarish place to land in. Glad to hear you’re working your way back from it.

  6. I’m working on surgery prep. On Friday, I will have a meniscus root tear repaired. Apparently, if you’re going to get a meniscus tear, you do NOT want this one. Sigh. Even the prep is daunting. I’m currently doing a sanitizing laundering of towels. Sheets are next. And I have three days of showering with surgical scrub soap. The recovery is four weeks in a straight brace with no weight bearing on that leg, and then I’ll have to retrain the muscles to work. But next year at this time, I should be able to run marathons! Not that I would, mind you.

    1. Good luck and best wishes! Hope you’ve been stocking up on great books to read while you’re forced to not-run marathons. Readathon ahead?

    2. You could plan to do a marathon like the only one I’ve ever done– a Rosie Ruiz marathon ( you hop on the subway for most of the miles). In my case it was a streetcar which allowed wine drinking while stopped on a high bridge over the river.

  7. I am working on learning to set reasonable todo lists.

    Mine tend to be too long, then I get overwhelmed and shut down. Or I get through a big chunk of stuff, and I’m useless for days after, almost like I’m recuperating, although I don’t know why I need to. Super frustrating.

    I came across the 1-3-5 concept, 1 big/stressful task, 3 medium tasks, 5 small/maintenance tasks. That felt too easy, so I decided to make it a 1-2-3-4-5 and promptly started to overwhelm myself again. So this week I’m working on the proper 1-3-5, and trying to recognize that the “too easy” feeling means I’m not exhausted, and that’s a GOOD thing, not a problem to be addressed immediately!

    Baby steps.

    1. Hmmm, at the moment I’ve got 2 big/stressful tasks on the go, plus 5 medium ones, and I refuse to count the small/maintenance ones because that just makes me whimper. That might explain why I’m stressed and keep burying myself in chocolate. I can’t do anything about the big/stressful tasks – they both have to happen in June – but after that I like the sound of getting back to 1-3-5.

  8. Is anyone else coming to the site and having most of all of the comments already marked with a red heart?

    1. Yes. And if you click on the heart, it “unlikes” it. So everyone should assume that lots of people are applauding / supporting / otherwise approving of their comments.

    1. That’s a glorious red! (I say with my wet hair wrapped in a red towel.) The things you are wearing with it are wonderful, too. I will warn you before I come to England so that you can lock your wardrobe.

  9. Grrr. There was a big fat deer sleeping under my laundry lines this morning. Apparently my new gate is not a deterrent. If she has a faun, I am going to be displeased.

  10. My cat came in from a night out, he cries at my open window in the morning. He jumped on the bed to snuggle, which was nice, but I found myself picking off a few ticks, so threw him out and swept the bed. This is why I only have white sheets.

    Finally have town water, versus the well, so I can water my wild flower projects a bit. Little green babies sticking up, very exciting!

    1. Seresto collars are wonderful for ticks. Expensive, but worth it in peace of mind.

      1. Yes, Seresto collars are worth it, I say, working at a vet clinic.

      2. I use the medication on the neck treatment, but these were just hanging out at the end of his fur. If they bite him, they die. I try to be careful, I’ve been brushing myself off all day.

  11. I’m juggling friends to stay, the big proof-reading job, and planting up pots and borders – which always takes far longer than expected. Today’s a house cleaning/tidying marathon before the next lot of friends arrive tomorrow. Then I need to cram in three days on Monet before one of them comes back (they’re going to a wedding in between) for most of next week.

    The garden’s keeping me happy. More Siberian irises and roses open every day:

    1. Lady of Shalott is GORGEOUS! It’s got that beautiful peach thing going and at the same time, all the tones of blushing in addition. My two favorite flower attributes. Is it a David Austin rose?

      1. Yes, it’s a really good doer. I’m growing it against a 6ft fence, but it’s really a bush rose – it’ll work well in either form, bush or short climber. It has a spicy, fruity scent, and a really long flowering season. As you say, it starts off coral pink and matures to apricot.

  12. After my blissful eleven-day work break (six vacation days + one holiday + two weekends) I signed on yesterday to 302 emails, of which only two were left over from pre-vac sign-off. At the end of the day, 41 emails remained. Nothing was on fire and I was mostly left alone during the day, which was unexpected and nice. Today I have an application to file and the rest of the email to scour out.

    Writer work managed this week = getting through Ch. 7 on the novel-in-progress and gestating the next chapter, in which one of my MCs has a closure conversation with his ex. As usual, the characters are pulling me in a slightly different direction from my original plan.

  13. I didn’t get any of my “deadline” stuff done either, Jenny, so you’re in good company. (Or bad, depending on how you’re looking at it.)

    But yesterday I got most of the rest of the garden planted, including moving another wheelbarrow full of compost from the bin to a couple of the raised beds, and got it all watered. It has been very dry here for upstate NY in May–I think we maybe had two days of rain all month. None of the seeds I’ve planted are coming up. First it was very cold, now it is very hot (2 days of 90 degrees following a few of 80’s…in MAY). But I keep plugging away at it.

    I got a little bit more written on the WIP. About at the 10K word point and not sure I know or like the way the story is going. (Although my brain fog is such right now that I’m not sure I’m either very creative or a good judge of my own work.) I’m chatting with my agent in a bit and hoping she has something inspiring to say. Like, “No, it doesn’t suck.” I’d planned to have at least 30K done by the end of May, so uh, no.

  14. I’m doing… stuff. No schedule, no deadlines. I just ate macaroni tuna casserole for brunch plus a couple of Breyers chocolate ice cream cups for dessert. Now I’m looking at the goats on al Johnson’s Goat Cam. They aren’t doing anything exciting. I haven’t even seen them nibble the grass, but it is once again tourist season, and the goats are on the grass roof. I learned about Al Johnson’s Swedish Restaurant and Butik in chapter 1 of Variations on a Theme Book 4. It’s been there for over 40 years.

    1. Oh sure! That’s ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back! Watching goats!

      1. I thought the goats were really, really cute. But I didn’t spend ten minutes watching them – what were they doing that captured your attention so?

          1. My dad at the end of his life mentioned how much he loved little goats and how he wished he had one. Not a super practical wish for a suburban professor but he had gone to farm school.
            I wish I had figured out how to lease a goat to entertain him for a bit.

            What you learn at the end of someone’s life can be a revelation. My mom learned when my grandmother was in hospice that the baby sister she thought had died of kidney failure at 4 months had actually been given into state care because she had Downs. Which I guess was pretty common then. And back then downs babies had only a few years life expectancy because of heart problems but it was still a shock to hear .

  15. What a brilliant way to keep the grass on a sod roof managed! And they seem to be very happy up there, too. Even though the prospect of Lutefisk and piles of cheese fails to appeal to me, I’d definitely visit the place if I was anywhere near Wisconsin!

  16. I have the one week checkup after the first cataract surgery, and then the prep for the new crown today. This will also be the second time I have driven with my “new” eye. That seems like enough for one day. Lupe, I sincerely sympathize with you. I think it is sometimes harder to grieve someone who was hard to love, than to grieve a very beloved person. Best wishes to Nancy who anticipates better health, and to Tammy and your nephew, who seeks a higher education.

  17. I’m still working on the depression-thing, and planning and plotting things to do to counteract it. Doing research on projects I wanna get started. I hope I can make ’em reality. At least one of them is something I’ve wanted to do since around 2015, it’d be fantastic if I’d manage to get started on it.
    Went out for lunch with MIL and one of her friends. Made slowcooker-chicken-thingy for dinner. Food is difficult right now. Have lost a bunch of weight. No idea how much, only notice that my bras are less… filled, and I think I’ve moved up at least 3 holes on my belt. Oh well. Probably didn’t need that extra weight anyway.
    Head-shrink and I concluded that Friday is a bad day to call since our place will be full of cameras and recording-people making a documentary about Sven. She said I could send her an email about everything that’s going on however, so I did that yesternight. It was…not a short email. She might need the half hour she offered me to talk to read through it. Whew.
    Hope all of you are having a good and productive week. Love to read about everything you’re up to.

      1. If it all turns out the way the makers have envisioned it, it’s gonna be great. Gonna take a while before it’s done, though.
        Matcha and I were in the promo they’re trying to get investors and producers on the line with, too. She was doing cute-cat-sleeps-on-cat-tree-thing while I was talking. If we get the people we need in on this, I’m sure it’s all her doing. <3

    1. Take care of yourself Shass, try not to lose too much weight, my mother loses weight naturally, the doctor actually worries about it as she’ll become fragile if she’s too thin. so I buy her Complan (vitamin food supplement). She eats normally and drinks a cup of food supplement to help keep the weight on. I actually offered to get her a blender so she can have healthy soups, but this way was easier

      1. Thanks for your message! <3 I am really trying. When I'm not feeling well mentally, the first thing that goes out the door is food. I used to be really thin, then when I started to feel better mentally (around when I turned 30), I also started eating like a normal person and gained weight. And now…some of it is moving on.
        Good idea to try making smoothies and soups though. I bought a blender last year that I haven't even unboxed yet. Maybe I should give that a good go…
        Glad to hear your strategy works for your mother. Is there perhaps something going on with her thyroid glands that causes this weight loss? Have they checked things like that?

        1. Not her thyroid, she just had to cut some things out of her diet for her health and then it turned out without them she lost weight without trying. I know food is hard for you currently, but even if you don’t want to eat, try to have something so you’ll have energy at least. The blender is good, because you can make a base for soup and just add things so batches taste different. Otherwise just make it as easy for yourself as possible. Maybe surround yourself with precut vegetables and bite sized food and try to snack on them

  18. I got into Much Ado! I’m Hero. Never would have expected that one 😛 We start rehearsals tonight. However, we only have like 8 people…almost all women…so frankly, I dunno how this is going to go at at all.

    In other news, I’m crocheting a map of the world and I’m finally hitting the end of the project, just doing the last 13 rows of it or so. It’s for a present and I’ll have it done before the birthday in August, so that’s great. I presume after that I’ll go back to working on my Halloween costume and whatnot.

    1. That’s wonderful! Congratulations. And it may be a lot of fun having a small cast.

  19. Dog poop. For a few weeks I was unable to keep up with pick up (knee injury) and now I’m overwhelmed. And the guy who mows the back lawn won’t mow (understandably) and the grass is long and hides the piles. Yikes!

  20. My job was hideous as expected and it’s a good thing I never come in physical contact with the IT guy who never seems to completely fix my software. I would appeal to Deb the Everyday Witch for a curse but I know she doesn’t do that kind of thing.

    The accountability partner thing is going well. The novel isn’t jumping on the page in thousand word spates as I would wish it to but it is moving along faster than it would if I weren’t writing with accountability!

    My last house project is 99% complete so, of course, a new project is on fire now. Sigh.

    I start therapy on Friday and I am so looking forward to that!

    In the fun department my wip novel has led me back to Bob Dylan. I went through a very long love affair with him in my teens. (He was, of course, only there in music but still…)

    1. What’s your favorite Dylan song? Mine at the moment is “Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts.” It’s basically a short novel in song form, plus it’s super cheerful.

      1. Jinx I’ve never heard that Dylan song. Can’t wait to look for it.
        What’s stuck in my head at the moment is “Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright” & It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue.”

    2. Good luck with therapy! It’s a ride, but it’s a great one once you get out on the other side of it. Well done you for getting help.

    3. Shame you don’t live in HK, there used to be a load of little old ladies, who hung out in a certain area, who’ll curse people for you for pocket money. This involves them smacking a photo of them with a shoe, while shouting curses. It’s a win win, they never claimed to be magical, but it helped people vent and they’re on limited incomes

  21. Lots if little but necessary jobs like painting the floors of the bathrooms cabinets, the bits on the house where the new balcony railings were installed, sewing new cushion casings for the outdoor chair cushions, scrubbing wicker planters given on weekend, finding out what the plant is which was in one of the pots, going through all the supplements and vitamins and finding many expired. And on it goes.

    Have big plans for flowers and veg plants on the balcony. Bought three begonias in memory of my mom and sweet aunt Dot for the shady end. Daughter-in-law’s Nana passed last month, I was given her deck plants and wicker pots. Lots!

  22. It’s been too warm to do much work outside but I did manage to buy some flowers and plant them. I want some color while waiting for the perennials to bloom. I did manage to red a few books while lounging in my hammock swing in the shade in my backyard.

  23. Still reviewing primary ballots. Surprisingly few ‘Mickey Mouse” write ins this time.

  24. Lupe, I’m so sorry for your loss.

    I was trying to relax and get ready for the cruise when I found out that a good friend of mine from university passed away last week after a short illness. She was only 49. So, now I’m remembering.

    1. Ouch, that’s rough news. So young, too. Hope the good memories give you some comfort. Take care of yourself.

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