In an NYT essay, “Want to Make a Change? Conjure Your ‘Possible Selves,” Joanne Lipman argues for the power of positive imaging of a future you, building a bridge from “the now self to the possible self.” Building that bridge, Lipman suggests, means taking active beginning steps, finding a support person/”expert companion”, sharing your goals with others, and reach out to people who aren’t close to you.
I am clearly at a place where I need to change my life, so I am looking at all of those things, the big thing being, what do I want my possible self to be? I’m still not sure, but imagining different possible selves, doorways to the future, is making me happy this week.
What possibilities (and anything else) made you happy this week?
So Friday was a nightmare, five guys and a truck and house full of stuff to go through. I had a panic attack in the middle of the night, followed by an allergy attack, followed by no sleep, and the the truck came . . .
But before the truck got there, Krissie was there, and then Mollie came, and then Jamie was there, and put chairs out in front and made me sit there with them, and we laughed a lot and I just sat there amazed: people were taking care of me. My best friend, my daughter, my therapist, all showed up to surround me and make me feel secure and loved in spite of what a mess I am.
I think a lot of us just take care of people, it’s what we do, so when the world flips around, we get dizzy with emotional vertigo, and we have to let others step up, and it can be terrifying. Unless you have a tribe. Then you just laugh and eat breakfast at noon and hug each other. That was the other thing: They all like each other a lot, they all have friendships and respect for each other, and I’d be lost without them.
So this is to thank Mollie and Krissie and Jamie for being the best of all possible tribes and for getting me through Friday. You are the best, and I’m the luckiest damn woman I know. And this is also to ask a comment request: If you have a tribe, who’s in it? How do you support each other? What makes you laugh together and hold onto each other and show up for each other?
And finally, how did you find happiness this week, with a tribe or solo?