Happiness is the Argh Ink People

I love this blog. Well, actually, what I love is the community on this blog. People from all over the world, a span of ages, occupations, ethnicities, hobbies, nobody with an ax to grind, or if they do have one, they don’t grind it here. If I had to describe the Argh people I’d say, “smart, friendly, liberal readers,” but I’m not even sure if “liberal” applies. Seventeen years of good people talking to each other, no flaming, no personal attacks, no trolls.

You guys make me happy.

What (or who) made you happy this week?

115 thoughts on “Happiness is the Argh Ink People

  1. Before a lot of people had the general rule, “Never read the comments.” They used to apply it here.

    But when you posted asking Cherries and Arghers questions, some ventured in to read and were very surprised at how much actual fun we have in the comments. And how emotionally supportive everyone is.

    I’ve always read all, but I love that major a Argh characteristic has always been, “You can read the comments.”

    1. I’d go further, and say that the comments here are a constant goldmine.

  2. I like it here. I like Jennifer Crusie the author. I like her fans. I like what Jenny shares with us. I like what her fans share. I lurk here several times each day, knowing that someone will share something worth sharing. I love that I can post about food or gardening or retirement and not be told to find somewhere else to be. Argh Ink is not my home – it’s more like Cheers, and I can be Norm or Cliff or Frasier on any given day. Or just be myself. This is one of my Happy Places.

        1. Speaking of sharing Gardening stuff here, I have a new blog entry: Thyme for Another Farm Report.

          AND I pruned leaves from Romaine, Red Romaine, Marvel of the 4 Seasons, and Parris Island lettuces, added a ripe yellow tomato plus store-bought cheese, hard-boiled egg, crispy fried red bell pepper, and my own dressing. Salad for lunch.

  3. Me three! Love it here.

    I have had a fabulous weekend. Went to Marlborough to drink wine with excellent people and run a half marathon. The run was so bad, I kept thinking the event would be covid cancelled and didn’t prepare, imagine my distress to find out I had to run 21km on no training, I set a new personal record for slowest event ever. BUT then we drank wine and laughed and talked and had a generally brilliant time. And it was gorgeous weather and running through vineyards in autumn is never going to be wholly awful. I’m very happy. Also, very sore. Totally worth it.

      1. I couldn’t!!! Was baaaaad.

        I am regular runner, but have been very unmotivated this year. I’ve run 3 times in the last month (and not much before that either), and I should have been doing that every week!

        PS as someone who has always been very unsporty, I still find it very hard to say that I am a runner, like I’m faking it. I mean, I’m slow (even usually, not just right now) but I run.

        1. That’s the only part that really counts in the definition. The rest is about how devoted or proficient you are. As someone who is barely up to hobble this week, I’m still quite impressed.

    1. Soooo, we started planning our 2023 trip and NZ is at the top of the list. Can I pick your brain for ideas?

      When Lisa and Paul pitched NZ to Trina and I, I said “I know someone from there, I can get details.”

      You were alive to drink wine after 21 kms. That’s better than I would have been!

      1. I’d be interested too. Australia and NZ were next on our trip list but then covid….

      2. Of course!!! Are you on Instagram or twitter? If so, find me and DM me and I’ll give you my contact deets. If not let me know and I’ll find another way. I’m AllanahinNZ on twitter and allanah.nz on Instagram.

      3. Officewench, NZ has been at the top of my bucket list for years; ever since I read some books set in NZ, I’ve wanted to visit it and when LotR was filmed there, it made me want to visit there even more!

    2. Your story is inspiring me.

      After last running a half marathon 10 years ago…(the last big age milestone I had) I got it in my head to train for one this fall, but the training is going horribly, right now consisting of me being barely able to run 3 k 1-2 times a week – and between finding the time to do it and how hard it’s been given the lack of running conditioning that my body is in after not having really focused on that form of exercising in like 7 years since my pregnancies – I’ve been questioning whether I’ve made too ambitious a goal for myself, even with months to go.

      I have plans to taper up, and I’ve done it before, so I know mentally I should be able to do it again… but still just thought it would be feeling easier/going a bit better overall by now

      But your story is inspiring me to stick with it! If I just keep getting in some amount of regular training and taper up over the summer….I can probably still be ready for 21 k by the fall. It doesn’t have to be fast, it just has to be fun!

      Current micro goal is to do a 5 k on Memorial Day weekend… fingers crossed!

      1. Katie, you can! I don’t know how long you have, but this is the training programme I absolutely didn’t follow, but I’ve done in the past and it’s excellent. It’s 12 weeks, so even if you can only run 1-2 times a week for 3K or so until the start of this 12 weeks, this will get you over the finish line. If you’re already in that 12 week window, consider doing your long runs as ‘run 3 mins, walk 1 min’ from the very beginning – this go-slow approach really does get you there better than ‘run until you can’t any more’. (or run 3.30, walk 30, ymmv)


  4. Happy today has been cuddles from my gorgeous boys, and takeaway for dinner. It’s also been bingeing on Who Rules the World (except now I have to wait until Thursday for more episodes, damn it!) and being able to help a friend with a plotting problem.

    A family walk along the beach and pavlova icecream was pretty darn good, too.

    1. I don’t usually write but you hooked me with your plotting…a story? a garden? a misadventure?

  5. I wandered round our botanical gardens this afternoon with a friend. The light was pure gold on autumn leaves. It was spectacular. And we made 20 huge eels very happy by feeding them stale bread. I wouldn’t have thought they’d like bread but they certainly did. I miscalculated their enthusiasm slightly and got a hole in my finger. But it was only a little hole.

    1. “This? Oh, it’s nothing. Just an eel hole from slow stale bread. Slight miscalculation.”


      1. (By which I mean, I never would have believed it if I hadn’t read it from an Argher.) Wonderful story!!

  6. And this community makes me happy too. It feels like a constant safe space in my life, I know that no matter what, Argh will be here.

  7. Do you guys remember the year when Jenny’s heart was giving out? Jane was stuck in limbo, wanting like heck to move to a home where she could have an allotment. Kate was figuring out life and Deb was writing her Baba Yaga series. There were many other folks whose stories I learned about and followed on Argh.

    That was only a couple of years ago. I knew I’d walked into a space where old friends were sharing tales that had begun way back in the past. Yet newcomers were welcome.

    I love it here. And I like the now, both hearing the current reports and seeing my world in a more positive and productive way. Last night’s Kentucky Derby is an example — it was astoundingly fantastic to see the horse that was the last minute fill in to come from behind and win the race. That’s a real life great ending.

    I get those here. Even the sad ones are graced with everyone’s warmth and love.

  8. I love it here too – it’s one of the places I come to as often as I can. It is warm and welcoming, and full of interesting people. I feel like there is a lot of give and take – people helping out with knowledge, advice and good vibes, or applauding successes and supporting each other after a downturn. It makes me happy to see what everyone else is up to in this little world we’ve made. I think that the friendships forged here would continue to flourish should we meet in person.

  9. I always look forward to Sunday when I can read Jenny’s post and catch up on what Argh readers have been doing the previous week. The daily headlines are scary and/0r depressing but this community reminds me that life is joyful and worth celebrating.

    I’m back working on the flower farm where I did my school coop. Two days a week which leaves me time to do other things. After a cold wet spring, the tulips and daffs are blooming – absolutely gorgeous. Weeded peonies and planted sunflowers – can’t wait to see them bloom. Spent a morning building a pollinator garden at a community garden. Took months to get approval and even though we don’t have plants yet, seeing the space take shape was great.

    My own garden is starting to bloom. I planted lots of tulips last year and many are coming up. My dwarf iris have been prolific this year and the botanical tulips are naturalizing beyond the borders of my garden.

  10. I’ve been an Argh follower for many years but don’t comment often. I love the great stories, friendship, and help available in this blog.
    It gives me a happy place to go when I feel bad. At the first of the week, I changed meds and had four great days with not many symptoms from my ME/CFS. Of course, I overdid it. To cheer me up, my friends are taking me to lunch on Monday. All in all, a good week.
    Thanks, Jenny

  11. It’s so good to be able to be here. This blog is where I learned how to find my online voice, because it’s pretty much the only place I comment. And this community is a godsend especially in the last handful of years when it was so easy to feel alone in real life.

    Otherwise, I am glad it is sunny again. The rain was dragging me down. Lots to do, the sun is out, and I think that I can get a good chunk of it done.

    Also, happy mother’s day to all the moms and moms in spirit. To strong women: may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.

  12. I’d love to hear how people here first discovered Jenny’s site and then how they first decided to post. I know there are old pals called “the Cherries,” but I don’t know exactly how they got here. And that some (like Deb recently) are writers and others (like Bob) just enjoy tales of mayhem, but I wish I had more of a sense of how this community formed over time. Because people here are book people, and that’s what makes me happy.

    1. I don’t know what came before, but I joined when it was a Yahoo Group (Are those still a thing?). Maybe someone else knows what preceded that incarnation.

      1. The first Argh Post is here:

        Before Argh there was The Cherry Forums, which became huge and had wonderful moderators and a lot of commenters called Cherries (they did this to themselves, BTW, I just called them “people”). Mollie set the forums up when she and I went into partnership because I showed her how publishing works in case I died and she inherited everything, and she looked it over and said, “You’re doing this wrong.” The Forums were great, but they were huge and a time suck (I was supposed to be writing fiction) and Mollie revamped the website and made it gorgeous, and then she said, “You need a blog and we’ll link that to the website and that way there will be new content on there, but there will be no comments.” So for a long time there were no comments until people complained, and I opened the comments, and here we are. There was also a He Wrote/She Wrote blog where the commenters called themselves Cherry Bombs after our logo, and that ran for two years and ate our lives, too, although it was wonderful for us. Eventually, we folded everything in here, and two years (?) ago (must look that up) we started doing Working Wednesdays and the really brilliant idea of Good Book Thursdays. Oh, and there used to be a blog called ReFab (reinventing fabulousness) that was Anne Stuart, Lani Diane Rich, and me, and that was where Happiness Sundays started, and when we shut that one down, I imported Happiness Sundays here. I’ve had a lotta blogs, but I always end up back here with you guys.

        1. Kathryn in DC
          AUGUST 18, 2005 AT 12:49 PM


          Thank you so much for blogging. It’s a medium to which you are wonderfully suited. And we, your fans, get immediate gratification. Got to love that! Your talents, wit, charm and joy [yes, you do so have joy..how else could you come up with and do justice to all those great shoes in Bet Me] were meant for blogging.

          Some Arghers didn’t need to wait til today’s post to say it. 🙂 🙂 😀

        2. I can’t remembee when I first joined any of those foruns Jenny mentioned. But I discovered her fab writing shortly before Welcome to Temptation came
          out in German.
          Sometime between then and naming myself “Bavarian Cherry” I joined in the discussion which car the love interest of Zelda’s should drive (I remember opting for a trusted Volvo). This book is still a wip iirc.
          Sometime afterwards, already with a baby bump, I met up with two lovely cherries here in town – one had come over for a trip from Misouri through Europe, the other lady came down from where her hubby was stationed.
          Ds is turning 17 in a couple of days…
          Many happy memories.
          Love it here.
          You guys form a global community of kindness and intelligence – all “spawned” by one well of the same with a ton of wittiness thrown into the mix.

    2. I was hooked on Jenny’s books and came looking for more. I don’t remember when, but after the cherries, I think. I lurked for a good long time, because I wasn’t comfortable interacting online. Then there was a discussion about Jane Eyre vs. wuthering heights that I had to chime in on (love the first, hate the second) or maybe it was when Jenny was asking for devil themed names for shops and I had a good one…

    3. I read Jenny’s books and saw her thanks to the Cherries, and was intrigued to learn who they were. I searched and found the blog and lurked for a long time and read all the back stuff I could. I was so excited to be connected to one of my all time favourite authors and am so happy that Jenny is just like I’d imagined her from her novels, lots of snark and a great heart. This community has provided me with so many great reads, insights into lives in other countries and lots of laughs. I’m especially happy to be here for the newest Jenny & Bob collaboration and can’t wait to read Lavender!

    4. Once upon a time, circa 2007 (aka early high school), my sister bought a used copy of Bet Me at a tent at our local Relay for Life in Eugene, Oregon. I bought a different book that was not nearly as good, and then I moved on to Bet Me. I was at that stage of nerdery where every time I found an author I liked I looked them up to see if they had a blog. Obviously Argh is (and was) fabulous, so I stayed.

      Bet Me wasn’t my first romance, but Argh was definitely my gateway to the romance community. And I can’t count the number of writing things I’ve learned from Jenny and Argh.

      … also I just realized that if 2007 is when I joined Argh, I have officially been hanging out here for half my life. Thank you to Jenny and everyone else for making this such a consistently warm, smart, and entertaining community.

  13. I love this blog too. So many good book recommendations, so many thoughtful comments, so many cool craft and garden pictures, such a wonderful place to share something that maybe one can’t say to one’s nearest snd dearest – or perhaps something funny one wants to share with a wider audience. The feeling of connection is amazing. So glad I found ya’all!

  14. This is the only online community besides Facebook that I even read, let alone participate in. It absolutely makes me happy, especially Good Book Thursday, which has shaped my reading for the past two years and has become the silver lining for me of the pandemic.

  15. Somewhat off topic – two guys from CSIS (the Canadian equivalent to the NSA) showed up at our door last week to see my husband. Flashed their badges and everything. 20 years ago my husband created malware for a living. He came to regret it and presented 10 years ago at a conference about how he had sold his soul and was trying to redeem himself. That presentation is on the internet and the CSIS folks tracked him down – no calls or emails from them in advance, just knock on the door – so that they could pick his brains about creating malware. I wasn’t home but my husband said they really liked our dogs. I said that will be a great consolation when I visit him in prison.

    Anyway, they took him for coffee at a local Farmboy and all is well. That made me happy this week.

  16. I’m extremely grateful for this community; and I love feeling connected to so many people around the world. Gives me an intimate perspective on a lot of things that would feel remote otherwise. And it’s such fun.

    I’m enjoying the sun – spending hours pottering in the garden between frequent reading and garden journalling breaks. I went to a plant nursery and a garden centre this morning, my garden design brainstorming having shown me where the gaps are going to be when I’ve finished taking out what’s not working – either to compost, or to pot up and put in a slug-free spot to recover.

    And the sparrows have finally discovered the aphids infesting the flowerbuds on my golden honeysuckle.

  17. I spent yesterday at Middle Tennessee State University watching my middle niece get her Masters degree in education and could not be more proud of her. Luckily on the same campus my great niece was competing in dance and her little team came in first.

    Then took the great nephew home afterwards to watch the Kentucky Derby and had great discussions on the traditions of the race (my parents were born and raised there) and this was the most social activity I’ve done since the pandemic began. It was great to feel somewhat normal again!

  18. This site was a recent find, and has fascinated and encouraged me. Yesterday, I put in the ground the last of the plants I had purchased, which involved clearing a space for them and pulling out lots of volunteer bergamot, Indian strawberries, and grass, plus a large piece of that awful black cloth people use to prevent weeds from growing. It just collects dust that eventually turns to mud and grows weeds on top of that! Anyway, there are now 6 small Milkweeds growing in that spot. It makes me happy to think of the butterflies that will come and thrive because of them, someday.

    1. Be thankful you could lift the weed-suppressing membrane out: the previous plot-holder must have covered most of my allotment in cheap stuff that weeds had just grown through. It had fallen apart, and I’m still digging up scraps of it every time I take a fork to the soil. It’s made of plastic (looks like interfacing), so not something I want mixed into my soil.

  19. I love this blog, too. I feel invested in this community and love reading snippets of people’s adventures and opinions in a supportive space. I also like the optimistic focus of Sundays. What made me happy today was wisteria. The wisteria in my part of the world is at peak “wow” today. (You can check out some photos here, which we took this morning: https://knitigatingcircumstances.com/2022/05/08/peak-wisteria/).

  20. I’m relatively new to the blog, but I really like it here! I fell into Jenny‘s book Welcome to Temptation, and laughed myself stupid! I shared them then, with my teenage daughters. It just started one day, with a CD I had in the car. When they asked what this was, I said that it was a new author I’d found. My daughters are now in their 30s. They can still quote some of the lines from some of Jenny‘s books. That’s a quality share right there. My daughters are more likely to read Kurt Vonnegut or Ayn Rand, but there you go. So, I guess I would just like to say thank you everyone! You’ve made a lovely place to play and learn.

  21. I read Jenny many years ago, when she had the yahoo blog, but it was closed, no more members. Alas. Later I found the cherry bombs, there used to be so many comments they would break the blog. I loved the Refab blog.
    Thank you Jenny and all your friends, you gave and are giving me many happy days, not just Sundays.

  22. I love this blog and its comments. As for happiness this past week – my daughter visited me from Toronto. She had been here, in Vancouver, staying with me, for a week. She left yesterday afternoon. She took me to a great fish food restaurant, and we went to see Cirque Du Soleil. All in all, a nice week.

  23. This is a great space. Thank you for allowing/encouraging us to come hang out. Yours is the only blog I read. In the past I commented more frequently, but now I often read, smile, and then go about my day.
    I’ve been around here for an age, can’t recall how long. Back in the day I was Sakura Cherry Blossom. What fun we’ve had over the years.

    Happy Mother’s Day to all. Remembering my mum and wishing she was here. Remembering the early days of mothering and wondering if I’d survive. Ha ha. Thankful for two great kids who now watch out for me.

  24. I didn’t discover Jenny’s books until around 2008, a used copy of Fast Women, but after I fell out of my chair laughing I proceeded to track down everything I could find of hers. But it wasn’t until about four years ago that some of here stuff that I hadn’t been able to find got released as ebooks that I ended up on her website and discovering Argh. Good Book Thursdays immediately gave me recommendations for some things I really enjoyed but hadn’t come across before, and a lot more since. And after a while I felt that I got to know some of the posters and started reading the Happiness and Working Wednesday posts too.

  25. It is never ever ever boring here. Yay, us!
    I have no idea how I found this blog or how long ago, but it was after the beginning. I have a vague memory of knowing the Cherries existed but not being able to find them anywhere. Maybe they were mentioned on rasfc before Usenet drowned in spam?

    1. The cherry bombs lived in jenny and bobs basement, when Wild Ride was finished they threw us out into the cold. The C b got together and started a blog, unfortunately I moved after a couple of months and when I went to look for the new blog I couldn’t remember anything. I don’t know how long it lasted. I can’t remember my CB name either!! The joys of getting old.

  26. I think it is very appropriate that we are having this conversation on Mother’s Day. In the last 10 years of my Mom’s life she found it difficult to get to the library by herself. For 10 before that she read mostly mysteries, cookbooks, and political nonfiction but didn’t keep up on much new fiction. Since I live in a city that had many more bookstores and a library system that, at that time, carried far more romances, one of the first things she would ask me was if I had could recommend any new (to her) romances. I used to lend her my copies of Jenny’s books, but after a while I had to start combing the thrift stores for more copies because she refused to give mine back. Since this was at a time when our reading tastes were beginning to diverge, being able to share our love of these books was a very sweet thing.
    And it is so much sweeter to remember those times we shared rather than how much I miss her. Being a mother, grandmother and great grandmother was one of her 2 greatest pleasures in life.

    1. If my Mom had been at all comfortable with a computer, I would have loved to introduce her to this blog. She would have ADORED all of you!

  27. Argh is definitely one of my happy places. 🙂 It’s basically Facebook & Argh for me (like Tammy!) when it comes to social media.

    Happy this week: yesterday was a sunny, warm, Stay Inside for Writing and Writer Business day, which turned out to be excellent strategy because this morning the conditions (overcast, cool) were perfect for an extended bout of Weed Management. The front yard looks much, much better.

    Also: two compliments from neighbors this week. One of them verbal: a woman walking with her child said ‘we love your sunflower garden’ as they passed (I only realized they were out there when she spoke – the front door is usually open in the afternoon to let the breeze come through). The other was when a man brought his toddler across the street to be amazed by my giants. 🙂 The tallest have gotten to eight feet again this year.

  28. I’m totally a lurker, but I do love lurking here, so please take my thanks for this wonderful internet space as well!

    And also: I may have missed it (see above re: lurker), but have we talked about Our Flag Means Death here yet? I mean, talk about things that generate the happy, bingeing a hilarious pirate rom-com with found family and great queer rep is super up there for me right now. Watched the whole thing three times in the last week. Love my muppety pirates!

    1. I’ve heard amazing things about Our Flag Means Death! I don’t have whatever it’s streaming on right now, but as soon as that changes it’s on my watch list.

  29. Like everyone else, I like it here. It feels like everyone is an adult. So many blogs now resemble photograph albums with a few words. This place is all about words and I love that…even if Good Book Thursday makes my want-to-read list grow so much that I think I need to quit work so I have more time to read. It makes life better.

  30. I was never a Cherry so I must have come in during the forums. It was definitely before ReFab. There were a lot of people posting using their Cherry Forum IDs. I don’t think I commented before ReFab. Some of the blog names I have forgotten but not the people (there was a fabulous commentator who worked with dolphins in Florida and was charting her progress losing weight and increasing her exercising limits who had a stomach reduction surgery. We all were rooting for her. I think as she redesigned her life she dropped out of posting or changed her posting ID. If she is still lurking here, say “hi”. I hope life is going well).

    And Jenny used to blog about teaching at various writers’ conferences. I particularly remember one where she was in Maui (?); Bob was there with a broken leg and a thigh high cast and everyone was signing it. Jenny, you should post a link. I would like to see if it is still as amusing as I remember. Then at the same time ReFab was going on, Jenny and Bob started He Wrote/She Wrote. It took up huge amounts of my spare time to keep up with them both but was a complete life saver because my mom had a serious stroke, was paralyzed on one side and could no longer speak and I took her to therapy pool and dealt with social workers and administration at her facility making sure she was receiving quality care, plus tried to give her several outings a week so she had some semblance of an interesting life. And interfacing with my siblings and Mom’s siblings all who would call and talk for hours and offer helpful suggestions. And this went on for 17 years. These blogs saved my sanity.

    1. I just asked Bob: He’s never broken his leg.
      We did go to Maui twice, though.

      1. I could have sworn there was a blog where you talked about drinks with little umbrellas and Bob had a cast on his leg that people were signing and a well known author (Elizabeth George??)insisted on signing it on the upper thigh. And during the stand and identify yourself section someone stood and said that she was secretly Angelia Jolie and the next woman who got up said she was secretly Jennifer Aniston and Die, you bitch. Obviously, I am remembering you having a much more interesting life than I did.

          1. I am a lurker here and have been since the yahoo days. What struck me after reading those earlier blog posts is how things have changed since the early days of the blog. Those were longer blog post followed by a few comments. Now even a short blog post gets a gazillion comments. You have created this great community and I appreciate it.

          2. OH, I needed that. I laughed until tears came to my eyes about the I am not pregnant one.

          3. I can’t stop laughing over “the general consensus afterward is that collaborating with me has made Bob a kinder, gentler, Surly Bastard”. Now I’m imagining it as part of a blurb on a book beginning with “collaborating”.

  31. I came to Jenny’s books late (2018?)when I started reading romance again to get through my divorce—and believe me Fast Women was such a help with that!

    I found the blog and so many interesting people here when I watched the Lucifer pilot and my newsfeed showed me Argh Ink’s response to the pilot that became Nita.

    And then the Good Book Thursdays which is mainly where I lurk. I’ve found so many great books that way-thank you all!

  32. Don’t remember when I found this space and I know I lurked for a long time. It’s such a comfortable and safe space that I couldn’t only lurk.

    And then there’s the intelligence, the snark and the lack of BS. I can always count on this space as an antidote to the irrational poison spewded out by so many people.

    But enough about the nasties. After two days of rain, it’s sunny and warm and a good day to spend with a good book. I’ll check in tomorrow.

  33. I have no social media at all, so this is really the only online space I visit, but it’s definitely quality over quantity. Kind, interesting humans who respect and encourage each other in spite of any differences. It’s funny, I keep a loose mental track of people’s adventures and circumstances here, but it only occurred to me this week that others here do the same to me! And I’m so grateful for that care.

    Happiness this week will be having three days off (in a row!!) in which to do laundry and go watch The Lost City after how highly it was recommended here. I just have to get through one last 10 hour shift and the dreaded interview feedback with my manager, and then I can sleep for as long as I can sleep. Bliss.

    1. About that feedback interview, remember women tend to be self critical, men tend to portray themselves as Superman. DO NOT be the first to say anything critical about your job performance. Put a positive spin on everything you do. If asked what you see is one of your weaknesses, remember that you demand too high a standard from yourself and want every job to be perfect. NEVER give a manager any ammunition that can come back and bite you. (I was a Human Resource Manager for 10 years). If anyone wants to give you grief, make them do their own damn work.

      1. Jessie, many years ago when I was studying drama, one of our lecturers decided that we should self-assess for a particular project. It was only a small group of students – three women and two men. He asked us a series of questions and we had to rate ourselves on each one.

        At the end, the men had given themselves high distinctions, and the women had JUST passed. The lecturer was horrified. ‘It’s actually the other way round,’ he said.

        1. I believe that’s called the Dunning Kruger effect, and it was definitely in play in these job interviews. The feedback session confirmed that the interview was the only criteria for getting the jobs. I pointed out that there’s a big difference between talking about your job and doing your job, and made my manager confirm out loud that there are no issues with my job performance, but nothing will be changed, now or in future. “Job performance gets people the interview, but the interview gets people the job.” Bless his heart.

          1. You may want to remind him of another saying: People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers.

      2. My wonderful dad used to say, with a twinkle in his eye, that while as far as he knew he had no faults (which a lot of the rest of the world agreed with; I’m not just a prejudiced daughter), if he had a fault, it was perhaps that he was a little too modest.

        1. That’s fascinating, when Ann italicized her quote, which was the last thing in the post, it italicized the tally number for the Likes. And she did it with a bad back and coughing spells and everything!!

          1. That’s odd, because I carefully ended the italization right after the word if.

      3. I view middle managers as something akin to lions. Don’t show them your weakness. Don’t turn your back. If you must interact, do so from a safe distance, and preferably with someone who runs slower than you around…

  34. Well, I had a bad week — picked up a cold, presumably at one of the two in-person meetings I attended — and on the day when I was feeling most ill, had a fall to the sidewalk on my way home, and couldn’t get up. I contemplated the moon until a gentleman came out on his porch to see whether his cat wasn’t ready to come in, and he asked if I needed help, so I explained that I couldn’t get to my feet unaided. In the end, he and his wife drove me to my door, thank goodness! But the next morning every muscle and joint was seized up, as my great-grandmother would have said, and the cold was worse. Luckily on Wednesday I had an emergency session with my physical therapist, and wonderful Dr. Jim poked and prodded my skeleton mostly back into alignment — my back is willing to sit or lie, but not to stand straight for more than about a minute and a half — and I’ve just been recovering ever since. Polka Dot, my clingy cat, has taken all the coughing in bed in stride — whenever I go to bed and lie down, all the phlegm in my chest rearranges itself via hard coughing for about ninety minutes, and she just lies there with her head on my shoulder, purring.

    Happy part is that most of this stuff seems a little better today!

      1. So glad the man and wife drove you home after your fall. It must have been quite frightening not knowing when you would get help. My aunt lived at a lake in central BC. She fell and broke her leg. Poor sweet Aunt Dot lay there for over an hour or two before someone drive down her road to visit her. She was very cold. Healed from that episode and fell again a few years later. Same story.

        So glad you didn’t break anything and kind people came to your rescue.

        1. So am I. It wasn’t cold, and I wasn’t hurt, but I’m nearly seventy-five, and I had a good lesson in why my mother was terrified of falling in her old age. I wasn’t terrified, but when you can’t get up again without help, clearly it’s to be avoided. And this is the first time that it feels as if three or four health problems have occurred at once, not a good sign.

    1. Ann, that sounds really scary. I’m glad you’re okay and being looked after by your cat.

      1. Polka Dot is right there. She was a rescue and then returned to the shelter, so she has never been quite certain that she’s really in her forever home (she is) and has always been quite clingy.

  35. Having a confirmed case of Covid does not make me happy (I was SO careful) but the fact that it is a very mild case does. Plus, it was an excuse to stay in my pajamas most of the weekend and read, nap, and crochet.

    There may be a new puppy in the future, which is sure to lead to much happiness.

  36. This was a tough weekend for Paul; it was his first Mother’s Day after losing his mom and she was someone who put a high value on that kind of thing.

    We have more snow but it should be gone soon. It will be 13C by Wednesday but I’m still thinking that I won’t get my garden in before June.

    We had a nice weekend but it was up and down. Fred got super excited and accidentally bit the woman who runs the boarding kennel. She was adamant it was an accident and not an attack and she said in no uncertain terms NOT to put him down so we are working on teaching him and the puppy to settle down quickly when they are too excited. Of course, they are lazy couch potatoes at home but we will do what we can to excite them so we can practice them calming down.

    I got a new iPad which was an adventure in trying to find the one I wanted as several of the stores that had it last week were sold out on Friday.

    The baseboards are almost done which will mean I can get the house together before Paul’s dad comes to visit.

  37. This post made me happy. This blog makes me happy. Jenny makes me happy. Jenny’s books make me happy. And you wonderful people always make me happy. This is a safe space where you can be yourself and do your thing, nobody’s judging. It’s okay not to be okay and you get support from all sides – and when you are okay, or fabulous even, everyone’s happy for your happy, too. So many communities make me anxious these days and scared of saying what I really think, but I don’t get those vibes here, at all. I mightn’t comment so much these days and even when I do, it’s hard to get back to see if someone’s reacted on my comment because I am so. friggin’. tired, but please know that I care about you all and think a lot about you and appreciate you all so, so, SO much. Argh was where I went when Sven got his heart attack, because it’s a safe and warm and welcoming place where we look out for each other. Except for MIL and my mother, Arghers were the first to know and the best support I could’ve wished for at that time. <3 Conclusion: You are all the best kind of people, and Jenny the one that brought us all together, so credits to everyone! <3
    I found Argh after a friend of mine told me that Min's Chicken Marsala-recipe was to find on Jenny's website. Some further exploration brought me to the blog and I lurked for a long, long time before I started commenting. I still find commenting scary at times, but I am working on it. Good Book Thursday was in full swing for probably more than a year or two before I joined that, but if I remember correctly, that was what made me comment since sharing good books is such a wonderful thing. I also love WW and the Sundays, but let's be honest: All posts are a joy.
    Another happy is that I have arranged for my cat to get shots and a new chip and a passport for travelling abroad, so hopefully(!) I can take him with me when I return from seeing my family in Sweden coming June. If the vet says he's in condition to travel, I'll do it. Now keeping fingers crossed…!

      1. Thank you! Yes, the only reason why I didn’t bring him with me when I moved in the first place was because our previous place (a flat built in 1935) really wasn’t a cat-ffriendly place, especially not for a reasonably young cat that was used to have acres of outdoor space to roam. Now he’s much older, doesn’t go outside much because he’s being bullied by neighbours’ much younger cat, and my mother think he’ll be much happier if he is where I am, and our new place allows for it. So let’s hope the vet says he’s good to go!

    1. Shass, that’s wonderful! I hope that the move works out for you. I finally moved my cats down here last year and they’re such a comfort.

      1. Yeah I hope it’ll all go well. Fingers crossed! How did your cats react to travelling? Was it by car, airplane, train? And how far?

        1. Two hours in a car, then two hours in a aeroplane. Poor babies hid under the bed for a day after they got here, but they’ve settled in beautifully. They’d travelled before though, so they didn’t need to be sedated or anything.

          1. Glad to hear it! Hopefully Chili will take to travelling okay, too. I can live with him hiding under things for a few days if that means I get to spend years with him around afterwards.

  38. I adore the blog and the comments. Such a great community. So many interesting people from around the world. So many new authors I may never have read without good book Thursday. Lurked for quite a while before commenting.

    I’m in the Canadian Arctic until the 19th. I’ve been out at the family cabins situated in the Mackenzie River watching for the ice breakup. I want to see and hear the ice breaking and the river moving so badly. I have been told the noise is quite something to hear.

    Today I am going to have a shower in a repurposed sauna made into a shower including a rain shower head. One half is the shower, the other half for drying. On demand hot water hooked up to a battery and propane tank to heat the water. The ingenuity of the northern people.

    Happy belated Mother’s Day. The internet booster and satellite dish were installed yesterday. My young cousin (10) shot his first goose in one shot. He is still smiling. He said his first goose is for his mother. Sweet boy. I love the north and people. Kind. Funny. Smart And very resourceful living off the land.

  39. I was a Cherry from the YahooGroups lot – my ‘handle’ was Cherry Question. I mainly lurked, and just transferred my lurking skills here when the group shut down. I still don’t comment all that much, but I do enjoy everyone here, and appreciate the goodwill that abounds (which may very well be a unique phenomenon on the Internet).

    My happiest happy (it was a good week, yay!) was spontaneously, and slightly randomly, going to a vintage car festival in Llandudno on Monday with DH and DS. We all had an absolutely excellent time – DS in particular was beside himself with the opportunity to travel on the top deck of a double-decker bus twice (into Llandudno centre, and out again – took maybe 5-10 mins each way). It was great weather, we ate tasty, satisfying, very unhealthy food sitting on a bench next to the sea, and the vehicles exhibited were interesting (even to a non-enthusiast like me). I got all nostalgic thinking about the times I went to such things with my parents, and it was just an all round good day.

    I’ve also done quite a bit of work in the garden this weekend due to the decent weather and DS being otherwise entertained. I’m doing quite a lot of planting ancient seeds to see what (if anything) sprouts as well lots of weeding/clearing/sorting. It makes me look forward to more nice days to get outside.

  40. My (adult) kids remember when my dinnertime stories often started with, “Today in the Cherry Forums someone said…”

    And they know the big life moments that arose directly from participating in this great community, including 1) my attending a romance writing retreat where Jenny taught, and 2) sharing a rental van with a Cherry I’d met online who was moving from the West coast to Minnesota at the same time DD was moving from Minnesota to the West coast. I drove out with DD and back with Pat–memorable trips both ways!

    And then there’s the time DH and I went to see Jenny and Bob, and we were sitting on the bookstore’s comfy couch, and DH fell asleep. But he didn’t snore.

  41. I’m not sure when I joined the community either. I was a lurker at first, and like Several others here, I only post occasionally. I know it was while I lived at my other house before my divorce so it has to be at least 10 or 12 years ago. I love coming here for all the reasons already mentioned above; it does feel like a safe and welcoming community.

    1. I forgot to add that the first Jenny Crusie I read was Faking It; it was on the new book shelf at my library and it was definitely before I moved from the Finger Lakes region of NY to my current area in late 2002. I found the blog or whatever it was at that time shortly after I moved here.

  42. So I went back in the blog archives to try to figure out when I started reading it and evidence suggests sometime around 2014. I think found it because I just went looking for Jennie’s website ? I had been checking authors websites to learn when their next book would be out.

    In the process I read the December 12 2012 blog and I hereby recommend you all read it too to brighten your day. If I do ever come down with Covid I plan to distract myself by reading all the older blogs.

    The blog is definitely my happy and safe space and I have a large group of book samples downloaded on my nook app from Thursday suggestions… when I need a book a browse among them and then borrow or buy the winners. I don’t think I will ever run out of suggestions.

    It’s not been a happy week because not only is the Supreme Court trying to take us back to the days when they burned witches (pretty much literally as the leaked opinion cites that eminent legal authority Matthew Hale who sentenced two witches to death https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/09/alito-roe-sir-matthew-hale-misogynist/) but also for work I have to keep reading what all the states plan to do if they get to write laws about abortions and contraception and homosexuality and and and…it’s not pretty. So I’m kinda drowning in the bad news.

    So for light amusement I’m wondering whether Vicky White’s horrendous bad choices were inspired by romance novels and if so which ones. She pretty much could be the role model for all TSTL heroines.

    I did talk to my kids for Mother’s Day so that was nice. And I started putting my annuals in but I’m way behind . This is because DH and I got our first Shingrix shots and wisely planned for Friday evening so we would have the weekend to recover. Which we mostly have . I guess it’s a happy that it’s done. But it’s also probably partly responsible for my deep crabbiness this week .

    1. Well, now I feel bad about the Vicky White comment being flip. But I still wonder what motivated her

      1. Debbie, I only watched the headlines, but I wonder the same thing.

        Early in his business, my husband had several sociopaths as (short term) employees. They’re dangerous for everybody. As a nurse friend said, being on the psych ward was awful because a few patients could convince her that she was the crazy one. I suspect that this inmate is very convincing and controlling — further, that his whatever-pathy is part of why the police were so adamant about his danger to others. Plus the fact that he killed people.

        Please don’t get me wrong about the need to be respectful to those with mental illness. These are specific cases.

    2. Yeh, the Shingrix vaccine was the worst. But better than shingles. I had them, not a painful case, and now my one pupil doesn’t dialate properly. It’s kind of like a colonoscopy, you’re better off getting it.

  43. Like so many here, I loved the books and came to find out more about these mysterious “Cherries.” And found this wonderful group of interesting, supportive, and diverse people. I don’t comment often, but read regularly, and try never to miss Thursday’s book recommendations. Not to mention the humor hits just the right note. Thanks to Jenny for setting the tone and creating an environment that is so wonderful. Thanks everyone for making this such a great blog.

  44. This happiness post is a happy. Argh is my favourite online place, because of the people who comment. I love the blog, for sure, (thank you, Jenny) but this is the only one where I also read comments. It’s also one of two? that I page back to catch up when I miss a few in a row.
    Moving to Scotland is Decided, so grateful it’s finally settled. One of the three of us is staying in Sydney so the cats don’t have to move overseas until we have somewhere to move them to. I hadn’t thought to vet check whether they are physically ok to travel so thank you for that, Shass. They are rather old.. 🙁
    I am extremely grateful that I don’t have to leave them with strangers or try to find temporary housing in Edinburgh that will take cats, if such a place even exists.

    Under all the stress and worry there’s a constant burble of Yay! I loved Scotland when I lived there (6 months fall and winter, I loved the weather :0 ) as I’ve not ever really loved living here. It’s a great city, it’s just not _my_ place.

    1. Wow, a change from Australia to Scotland is a big move. May I ask where you originally came from?
      Moving great distances would kind of terrify me now (want to stay nearer my elderly parents), but find the couarge impressive.

      1. San Francisco. I moved often as a child. Low income single mom, and I think owners could ask a renter to move or raise the rent at choice. Then I was a nanny and moved everytime I changed jobs.
        Once 5 times in 6 months. Let go “because I made being home with the kids look like so much fun” and she wanted to do it herslf, horrible share place, into spectacular nanny gig and right back out because planned adoption fell through, into share house run by guy not creepy toward me but was to my friends so quickly out. Mostly within California but moving to some place new is very familiar territory.
        When invited to do a year and a half long trip through Europe and Austraila, moving every 3 months I was thrilled. And terrified. It was great, and hard. While in Sydney, partner was practically bullied into applying for a place here.
        Wasn’t me, I don’t bully, a colleague, not even one that worked here. Actually, that same man told me that I needed to provide a three course meal every night for a happy relationship. Hah! wouldn’t make me happy. Really I wouldn’t want that even if it was _for_ me not by me.
        Anyway, the first oversea move kind of snuck up on me. And by then I owned perhaps 6 boxes of stuff. Now? Ack.

  45. Late to this party but I became Clever Cherry sometime before Maybe This Time came out. I went to see Jenny at a bookstore in Louisville, KY.
    When I was getting the book signed I mentioned commenting as Clever Cherry. Jenny’s response was something like – i know you, babe. Come around here and take a picture with me.
    Still have my signed copy of the book but several moves later I can’t locate the picture.

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