I’m trying to write a blurb for Anna (Krissie just sent me her blurb for the book she’s working on, so I thought I’d try Anna’s), and for some reason, it wasn’t until the fourth graph that the Lucy-and-Charlie other shoe hit the ground like an anvil:
Here’s the first draft of the back cover blurb. Note “first draft.” This is too long and too awkward.
When Lucy meets Charlie . . .
Anna Jones is looking for payback sex when she picks up a hot suit in a Vegas casino. After a night of passion and Snickers, she kisses good-bye the guy who calls her Lucy and thinks fondly of the man she’s named Charlie, no regrets, except maybe about eating his waffles and letting him go . . .
When Anna meets Nate . . .
Back in Jersey, Anna is tangling with her new boss when the FBI shows up: turns out Charlie is really Nate and is gainfully employed by the government to investigate the third-rate museum where Anna works. Also, he’s still hot. But Anna had executive fantasies, not federal agent dreams: Nate is not what Charlie seemed and that’s a deal breaker.
When Nate meets Anna . . .
Meanwhile, Nate’s pretty sure sweet, innocent Anna is not possibly involved in anything criminal, but then he meets her mother, finds out about her grandfather, watches her handle herself in a parking garage and realizes that Anna, no matter how much she looks like Lucy, is a whole new deal, too, and she’s not one he wants to make.
When push comes to shove . . .
But when trouble shows up—money laundering, fraud, breaking and entering, art theft, assault, and a champagne fountain to be avoided at all costs—Anna and Nate begin to fight crime together and see that they have a lot in common with Lucy and Charlie after all, and that maybe there’s time to make one last deal, forever.
Ha! I didn’t see that until the fourth paragraph, either (and then not until you said there was something to see). 🙂
The incipient editor in me is cringing a bit at “Anna and Nate begin to fight crime together to fight crime and begin to see that”
BUT, the reader in me says YEAH, that’s the story!!! (this part “they have a lot in common with Lucy and Charlie after all, and that maybe there’s time to make one last deal, forever.” )
Oh, that’s a mistake (editing on the run), I’ll fix it. Thanks.
I love it!
Well, you’re not the only one to miss the Lucy and Charlie reference. Argh.
And this only made me realize I need to write a blurb for my current WIP. AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!
But I love Anna and Nate so far! 🙂
I agree that it’s too long and (a bit) awkward, but it’s also totally intriguing, and I very much want to read the book
Really awkward. This is what happens when you’re desperate for a blog post.
What will really be awkward is going back through all your text and changing it so Cater and all the boss feds, and “Lucy’s” bosses are saying, “Mwah mwah Mwah, mwah.” instead of understandable words.
Heeheehee. I would have noticed if they’d gone with Lucy and Linus.
Yeah, but they’re brother and sister. Eww.
I’d read it from that blurb!
I kept thinking that you already had a heroine called Lucy (who had to get rid of Bradley) and a main character called Charlie (all night), so I missed the reference until the cartoon spelled it out for me. But don’t let that deter you from writing that book.
And I thought you MEANT that reference — like they were flinging off adult ways and turning into kids again. Plus, Lucy in the bedroom was a little bit pushy and kind of insecure, and Charlie was going along with what she wanted and letting her eat all the Snickers.
Well, THERE’S an image I didn’t want, Lucy and Charlie Brown in the bedroom. Although somewhere on the internet . . . Rule 34.
Way too late to wish otherwise. I remember a one-panel cartoon from the ’60s showing Lucy with a baby-bump shaking a fist and yelling, “Damn you Charlie Brown! You blockhead!”
Cool.
To be honest, I didn’t notice it. They are in no way acting like Lucy van Pelt (is that the right last name?) and Charlie Brown in the Vegas scene. I think you’re fine. Plus, if you want to embrace it, it gives you scope for an inside joke or some psychological commentary later on. Such as Lucy/Anna rocks Charlie/Nate’s world by pulling away the football/his complacent worldview? Or something? Whatever! You’ll come up with something brilliant, I have no doubt!
The thing I did notice when I was photoshopping Lucy to echo Lucy in Vegas was that I’d turned her into the little red-haired girl.
Lol! Charlie’s dream girl and his nemesis all rolled up into one! Hmm. It could work!
I saw that too.
Well I noticed the other day, but just shrugged it off, because, to my recollection, Charlie Brown is never called Charlie. Always Charlie Brown. (Peppermint Patty calls him Chuck.)
Peppermint Pattie’s sidekick (Marcie?) always calls him Charles.
I saw it, and it bothered me for a hot minute; like Colognegrrl, I recalled the names
had already been used in other Crusie novels, but decided I’ve never finished writing even one novel, so should just keep quiet. Also, I wasn’t asked to be an editor, so simply enjoyed reading the story.
I didn’t notice, but I agree with the above comment that it could be turned into funny later in the book. You’re always so good at clever and witty 😊
I didn’t notice either.
Me reading the Peanuts seems centuries ago and even then I always preferred Snoopy and Woodstock.
Also when I read the name Lucy it reminds me of my little girl (sadly no readhead and no curly either) and Charlie is actually my son’s middle name (inherited from my father). So I love both names 🙂
I do like Nate and Anna, too, a lot. Nate for me is synonymous with being a cool guy (like one character in one beloved YA novels) and Anna is my daughter’s bff. A cool girl, too…
Whatever – the names are cool!! And so will be your book characters.
I didn’t notice. Is it an age thing? Or a non-US thing? Peanuts was around when I was a kid, it was in the papers, but not really a big cultural icon for me – so the names didn’t register at all.
I didn’t notice because once Anna’s real name was revealed, I forgot that she ever went by Lucy. Until the end of the comments, all I could think was, “But Lucy doesn’t LIKE Charlie Brown!”
Well, Lucy is the name that Anna is given, so Charlie is just her knee jerk response from her youth. Her response might have been Desi or considering they are in Vegas, Diamond. It’s just something that some people might notice and others might not. Besides, the names are from the Girls in the Basement aren’t they?
I’m not even sure that Charlie is subconsciously Charlie Brown for Anna. I don’t see her casting herself as a mean girl. (I love Lucy Van Pelt, but she’s mean.)