I think change is good. Reinvention is good. Especially when you don’t have any other choice.
So I’m looking at my writing and thinking, “I’ve done that.” I’m proud of what I’ve done (most of it), but I did that. I don’t want to be an imitation of what I used to be. It’s been ten years since I’ve published, people have forgotten what I used to be. I’m a new author again.
So I’ve been thinking about where I want to go next, aside from the half dozen books I already have started. Thinking about trying something new, maybe inspired by the stories I’ve loved, like Pushing Daisies. Except I just watched a series I swear was modeled on Pushing Daisies and all I could think was “This is just like Pushing Daisies except not as a good.” So I think trying to write magic realism would be a bad idea for me, a kind of “This is just like Water for Chocolate except bad.” And anyway, I already tried that in Bet Me and my editor made me tone down the magic realism so I’m probably lousy at it.
Plus there’s the whole imposter syndrome I’m already dealing with, the “I must really suck at this” working on me while I try to figure out what’s wrong with Nita. I like that book. There are parts of it I adore, parts that make me think I’m a genius. And there aren’t any parts that make me think I’m awful. And yet many people in NYC said, “Nope.” Well, two agents said, “This needs work” and an editor said, “Nope.” It’s quelling, that’s what it is.
So I’m thinking once I get Nita out the door which must be soon because my god I can’t stand this any more, I need to start thinking outside the box. Assuming I have a box. Why would I want a box? Just so I have something to think outside of? A jar in Tennessee I can knock over? Forget the box. I don’t need no stinkin’ box.
I’ll think of something.