Cherry Saturday, March 23, 2019

Today is Introvert’s Day, which means it’s my day. You’d think as social as we all are on here, we’d all be extroverts, but we’re being social in front of screens alone in our homes, so nope. Or maybe I’m projecting. I’m an introvert’s introvert; I moved to the middle of nowhere and go for days without talking to anybody but the dogs. And you guys. Then while looking for an image for this post, I came across a page of introvert T-shirts. I want them all:

My Time Alone Is For Your Safety

I’d Love To Stay and Chat, But I’m Lying

I Am A Social Vegan. I Avoid Meet.

I’m Just Here for the WiFi.

And then there’s the t-shirt I liked so much I actually bought it:

You Know What I Like About People? Their dogs.

And I’m pretty sure I’m going to buy this one because it may sum up the Argh people:

64 thoughts on “Cherry Saturday, March 23, 2019

  1. I’m a weird mix of intrav- and extrov-. I’m both at different times.

    One of the best t-shirts I ever saw was in passing, on a lady in the mall. It said, “I’m sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.”

    I felt that.

    22+
    1. That one pops up in my advertiser feed all the time. I’d get it, but I don’t want to be rude. And that truthful.

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      1. In true introvert style, I bought it, but don’t think I’ll ever wear it outside the house.

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        1. I know. I love it because it’s so true, but it also seems kind of mean, so wearing it in the house is perfect. Anybody who sees it there invaded your space.

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  2. I’m an extrovert. But I like it here just fine. The T-shirt I have seen recently which is perhaps the most suitable for me this year (I’ve been giving no quarter to sexism, racism, or homophobia where I encounter it) says, on the back, ‘May your way be lit by the light from my burning bridges’.

    24+
      1. My Burning Bridge saying (which I always [falsely] ascribe to my dad) is, “Tears shed cryin’ over spilt milk won’t put out the burnin’ bridges behind you.”

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  3. At the recent Schools Strike for Climate, I saw a photo of a kid with a sign saying “Things are so bad, even the introverts are here”. I suspect that’s not a new one, but it did tickle my funny bone.

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    1. The extroverts all tells us introverts, “come out and social” or “you need to be more assertive”, but they never teach us how to do that well.

      10+
      1. I can ‘perform’ social quite well – but I pay a high price for it. I think that’s one of the things extroverts often don’t understand – the amount of energy it takes. Other people drain me. Dogs and cats and horses don’t. Books don’t.

        12+
        1. The way I think of it is the people I care about are what I spend my energy on. You spend your money on what you value – energy is the same. But time alone is what I need to build up the reserves to spend.

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  4. Every time I take one of those personally assessments, I’m right on the borderline between introvert and extrovert. I’m an introvert in that I need time alone to recharge and not go on rampages, but I have an extroverted profession (teaching) and definitely need contact with others to feel sane(ish), but that might just be having acclimated to the job and the small children.

    16+
    1. This exactly how I am, Peggy. Most weekends I can spend the whole time alone and be happy about it. But if I didn’t get the right type of interaction during the week, I feel lonely during a solo weekend. And when I’m in between jobs, I become the joiner who suddenly is in book clubs and attends meetups because I have the energy all of a sudden.

      11+
  5. (Off topic) It is my turn to choose the next book for my Book Club. Which of your books would you recommend? (And are there discussion questions? After the wine and food, we still DO discuss the book, no matter what my kiddos think)
    Thanks!

    8+
    1. Hi, Jessica, welcome to Argh.

      It depends on what your book club likes. Pure romance? Bet Me. Action/adventure? Agnes and Hitman. Family and ghosts? Maybe This Time. Caper Romance? Faking It.

      My favorite is Faking It, but then I like a caper (although they’re damn hard to write).

      17+
        1. Those are hard to do. Having said that, Nadine’s book is supposed to be one, but I haven’t got a plot, yet.

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  6. I’m an introvert. On the Myers-Briggs test, my dot sat under the introvert label on that continuum.

    My favorite book on the subject that I would love every extrovert, parent, and teacher to read is “Quiet : the Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain.

    It contains a manifesto for introverts:
    1) there’s a word for “people who are in their heads too much” : thinkers.
    2) solitude is a catalyst for innovation.
    3) The next generation of quiet kids can and must be raised to know their own strengths.
    4) sometimes it helps to be a pretend extrovert. There will always be time to be quiet later.
    5) but in the long run, staying true to your temperament is key to finding work you love and work that matters.
    6) One genuine new relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.
    7) it’s OK to cross the street to avoid making small talk.
    8) “Quiet leadership” is not an oxymoron.
    9) Love is essential; gregariousness is optional.
    10) “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

    Also, I love all those t-shirts!

    19+
  7. Ohhhh I’m loving these. Part of me is laughing and part of me sighs. The multi-hued one you led with pretty much sums up my whole life!

    And the one about the dogs-oh yeah. My closest friend for the past 35+ years is someone I met when I was living in an apartment complex that allowed dogs and I leaned over the balcony to ask “what kind of dog is that?” That lead to years of walking our dogs at the same time when possible. Introvert friend making–will your dog vouch for your character?

    11+
  8. I’m so introverted but I’m a primary teacher. So at the end of the day I crave solitude and silence and no one saying my name sixty three times in one minute.

    14+
  9. I believe I gave my son two of the introvert shirts in Jenny’s blog.

    He’s a physics student. His first summer research job he was apparently working on a computer in a room with many physicists. I would ask him if he talked to anyone and he would say “my Professor”.
    And then I would ask “did you say Hi or Goodbye to anyone else?” And he would say “Mom, we are physicists!” (No.)

    Just in case you are wondering what to get your physics friends….

    My husband is an extrovert. I’m not. He would have people over for every meal on weekends. I would prefer to nest. It’s a miracle we have made it past thirty years.

    10+
  10. I decided to Google introvert t-shirts just for grins and giggles, and found this one.

    Bibliovert (noun): A person who prefers the company of characters in books. Other people, no so much.

    Oh, yeah. I’m buying it.

    14+
  11. A few years back a couple of friends bought me a t-shirt that says “Books are like people. Only interesting.”

    I totally agree with the dog thing. There are so many people in town that I just know from their dogs. Tall Boy always has to tell me what kind of dog they have, like his co-worker whose wife works at the pool (the pool I went to 4 times a week until I got sick 4 months ago), she’s just Mrs. Bernese Mountain Dog. The guy who does odd jobs (he’s retired) and works for the couple next door is Bloodhound Dude (even though his wife was our real estate agent and his son used to work for the same company as TB and we’ve been introduced). I wouldn’t recognize our neighbor if she doesn’t have her pekinese with her.

    11+
    1. When I worked at a greasy spoon I didn’t know everybody’s name, but I did remember what they ate for breakfast. One day I was out running errands and my Mom said, “You know Dave Kohler, don’t you?” And I thought, “Yeah, but I know him as fry 2 with bacon.” It turns out that he owned a store a few blocks from the house my parents had built and they had known him for decades. All I knew was how he liked his eggs and coffee.

      9+
      1. When I was a bookseller, I was like that. Names were hard, but I could remember customers by the books that they bought a month ago.

        10+
  12. With rare exceptions (greyhounds, I’m looking at you) the dogs of introverts seem to serve as their extroverted sidekicks and spirit guides. I admire that, but I’m a cat person, through and through.

    12+
  13. Oh, my day! Definitely. I love this one the best: “I Am A Social Vegan. I Avoid Meet.” It should be my motto. The internet was custom-made for us.

    9+
  14. One of the things that I truly love about the internet is that it has made it clear that none of us are alone. All those desperately isolated gay kids in small conservative country towns, all the transgender kids who haven’t dared tell anyone – and yes, all the introverts. Suddenly we realise that we have a large cohort, and we’re not as weird as we always thought.

    One of the things I truly love about writing as a career is that most of the time it equates with solitude. Some people complain, ‘But being a writer is so isolating.’ ‘Yes,’ I reply. ‘Isn’t it wonderful?’

    13+
  15. Lurker here. Just thought I’d mention that it’s National Puppy Day, too. I celebrate both.

    10+
    1. Hi, Audrey, welcome out of lurk.

      I saw that it was National Puppy Day, but as far as I’m concerned every day is Puppy Day and every dog is a puppy. So I went with Introverts.

      13+
      1. Yes, it’s always puppy day here, too. And walking the dog is the only time I get out amoung people.

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  16. My two best friends are extroverts. It took me from elementary school into our forties? maybe fifties? to realize that being with people _energizes_ them. They get tired and bored and lonely without enough people-time, even though they each are in professions where you spend a lot of time sitting at a desk thinking. I often enjoy being with people (such as them!) but it sucks energy from me that I have to recharge in solitude.

    12+
  17. Neither intro nor extro, not -vert of any flavor (except maybe purrrvert, see above). I am a -mist

    Possibly a pessimist, just as likely an optimist. Always a monogamist – that’s not bragging, I just don’t think I could have handled more than one at a time.

    You know the optimist/pessimist test? The one where you fill a glass to the 50% mark and ask someone how much there is? Extroverts say, “If I had seven more of these, I could throw a wine-tasting party!” Introverts just enjoy their solitary beverage.

    6+
  18. I think of myself as an extrovert. I have no difficulty talking to people and dealing with social situations, although I do not like speaking in public or selling. But I can spend days without seeing anyone, or turning on the TV or radio, as long as I have books, cats and projects and it bothers me not at all. My husband is an introvert who is great at public speaking but seriously dislikes doing things were he has to socialize. But he has to be around people often and is always on my case to have people over.

    3+
    1. Somehow as I was typing this two “o”s appeared before my name and I posted before I realized it had happened. So this really is me not a new person “ooJessie”. But most of you have already figured out 1. I am probably an extrovert and 2. my proofreading skills are lousy.

      4+
        1. You should keep them both. Jessie for when you are observing succinctly on something in a scholarly way, and ooJessie when you are channeling the Crowgard in you and see something shiny.

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          1. you give me too much credit. I stopped doing scholarly years ago. I am the poster girl for seeing shiny and being distracted.

            2+
  19. I love every one of those slogans. Says the introvert who lives in the middle of wilderness and had to drive to civilization today to go to Costco and that was enough Other People for the next week.

    4+
    1. Clearly we are sisters. Except we’re too far in the outback to have a Costco. We have a Home Goods. It’s my happy place.

      3+
          1. I grew up in a beautiful rural area–closest shopping was an hour away. Now I live in an overcrowded, overpriced metropolitan area (sort of the suburbs, but not) because work, and husband is a city boy. I hate it and would give up the shopping in a hot minuted.

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  20. The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney had a HUGE impact on me. I even bought extra copies to give away.

    I always kinda liked the quote from Barfly about liking people but feeling better when they’re not around.

    6+
  21. I trained myself to act like an extrovert in my twenties. It was the only way I could cope. I was so shy and anxious in social situations that it was painful. Then I started teaching motorcycle safety classes to tough airmen and that solidified the act.

    Now I’m an introvert disguised as an extrovert who knows the right questions to ask to keep a conversation going. Although, to be truthful, now that I work from home most of the time I think I might be reverting to type. I’m teaching a class at the end of next month and I’m afraid I’m going to freeze right up.

    6+
  22. I am definitely an introvert. I like people (not as much as cats or dogs) but I finding being with them exhausting. Even the easy ones, and the ones I like.

    I always say that it is a good thing I have a day job (although thankfully not one where I have to deal with tons of people, except during the holidays when we are really busy), because otherwise I would happily not leave my house for weeks. Or until I ran out of cat food, whichever came first.

    2+
    1. I go out on Thursdays for therapy and groceries. Otherwise, nope. It really is too peopley out there.

      2+
  23. A couple of my co-workers took me out for lunch last Friday (it’s the countdown, five days left before layoff, still no interviews, fairly sure the period of unemployment is going to be nontrivial) and asked if I minded being home alone.

    I was like, uh, no. LOL I don’t mind going to a job, I can even cope with the commute (I am, after all, alone for all that time with my music), but being home alone all day does not = suffering. It’s great.

    2+

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