A Little Help Here

Remember when I asked you all to brainstorm names for Demon Island businesses?  You were brilliant.  I need more, a real estate firm, probably the only one on the island, and a bowling alley.  And of course, anything else you can think of.

Thank you.

47 thoughts on “A Little Help Here

  1. Bowling Alley: Knock’n Dead
    Real Estate firm: Heaven’s Gates, Pearly Gates, Pandemonium Shores <— these seem more like real estate development areas

  2. Real Estate in the US always seems to be people’s names. Also, Real Estate sells — by definition! — to people who really live on the island, not to tourists. So it’s much more likely to be something like Lemmon and Patel or Garfunkel and Hernandez or Park, Coughlin & Li or something. I agree that Shady Acres etc are more like names of developments.

    And now I’ve seen Knock em’ Dead I can’t think of anything else as a Demon Island bowling alley.

  3. Are there rules here? I think I missed the previous post. Also, I feel like an appropriate name for a demonic real estate business would be: “The JaneB Home-buying Experience.”

    (Un)Real Estate:

    Hell’s Half Acre
    The Fourth Circle
    Hades Estates (now I want the cemetery on DI to be called sHades Acres)
    Elysium Estates
    Alternate Realty

    Bowling alley:

    Good Intentions
    Holy Bowlers
    Pins & Sins
    Bowl for Your Soul
    Dante’s Lanes

  4. De/Max? (Been seeing a lot of Re/Max signs around my neighborhood.)

    Definitely feeling Knock’em Dead as the Boeing alley…!

    Demon Island Realty Enterprises, abbreviated DIRE? Demon Island Estates, DIE?

    1. I like DIRE. Most Real Estate businesses, in my experience, don’t seem to have a sense of humour. An unintended sense of humour, however…

  5. My local bowling alley also has a noisy game center and karaoke booths. So . . . the Devil’s Playground.

    The Money Pit might be truth in advertising, but not very conducive to selling real estate. (Also, not super-related to hell — the pit is too tenuous. But it might help someone else?) Oh, but how about as a tag line: Sell Your Home, Not Your Soul. Or: You Don’t Have to Make a Deal with the Devil to Find Your Perfect Home.

    This would be better for a used car lot: “Devil’s Dealers.”

    Haunted Homes: Exorcise Your Right for the Perfect Space

    The Warded Door: Homes with Heart, Not Evil Spirits

    Exorcised Estates?

    Bell, Book and Candle: Free Home Cleansing With Every Purchase

  6. I want to cast another vote for the Knock ‘Em Dead Bowling Alley. The DIRE acronym someone suggested for the real estate business is cool, too.

    Maybe something to do with Dante’s 9 circles for the real estate name could work. Wikipedia tells me the first one is Limbo. That has potential for people looking to move. First Circle Real Estate: “Number one in real estate on Demon Island. We can move you out of limbo and into your new home.” Or something like that. There’s also circles for greed and fraud, which seems like it might be an issue when it comes to real estate in this town, so maybe you could do something with that?

  7. Last Stand Real Estate
    Bad Lot Realtors
    No Man’s Land Realtors

    Lights Out Utility Company
    Move Heaven and Earth Construction
    Mrs Lot’s Salt Water Taffy
    Hell on Wheels Roller Rink

  8. Real estate:
    Nether Regions Homes
    The Abyss Agency

    Do you have a newspaper? I’m thinking:
    The Perdition Edition
    Tribulation Times

    Drawing a blank on the bowling alley, though…

  9. I don’t have any clever ideas, but those of us who have spent some time in tourist towns (Ashland, OR, in my case) know that the Agencies are also trying to sell to the visitors.

    1. Great Balls of Fire Bowling and Buffalo Wings

      I think Great Bowls of Fire might be over the edge.

      Or “The Straight and Narrow” came to mind, as well.

      There ought to be a good connection between gutters and devils, too.

  10. Satan’s Spare Pin
    The Devil’s Strike
    The Back Alley (this sounds more like a bar to me, maybe inside the bowling alley)

    Underworld Sold
    Inferno Listings
    Hell House(s)
    Brimstone Realty

  11. I live near the Devil’s Kneading Trough. The local bus is the 666, affectionately known as the Devil-Bus. Yet I can’t think of any cool names for estate agents.

  12. Down Town Realty. “Come sit down and don’t get dragged under by high prices”

    Orpheus Realty – Is your current home closer to Hell? Let us open the gates for you and bring you back to heaven. You will never look back in our hands

    Rip’s Pins or Rip’s Half Moon Bar – Time flies when you’re bowling at Rip’s.

  13. Inferno Realty
    Succu(Bus) Station
    Hellion Wheels or Hell On Wheels Car Sales/Repair
    Brimstone Bakery
    Affliction Fiction Book Shop
    ApocaLips Makeup
    Medusa’s Makeovers or Makeunders
    Dante’s Diner
    Dead Meat Butcher Shop/Grocery

  14. Dan Tay’s in fer no good season – sporting headline? The second half of this sentence is poor but I think the Dante’s Inferno reference is ok.

  15. Nether Regions Lingerie
    Hellfire Ice Cream/Creamery
    Crypt Keepers Storage Solutions
    Apparition Apparel
    Hemlock Pharmacy
    Red Shoes Dance Academy
    Blinderson’s (Blinders On) Movie Theater
    Titanic Boat Tours
    Desi’s Catering (dessicate) or Dizzy’s Catering (disease)
    Scorched Earth Realty
    Witherman’s Gym/Health Club


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