Cherry Saturday, August 4, 2018

Today is Sisters Day.  I figure that’s both the sisters (and brothers) you were born with and the ones you meet later and realize are soul sisters (and brothers).  You know, like Argh.   The important part is to stick together as you roll down life’s highway. 

Also, it’s August.  How the hell did that happen?

28 thoughts on “Cherry Saturday, August 4, 2018

  1. I’m an only child. I have deep gratitude for all of my siblings-by-choice. I also know how blessed I am to have them.

  2. The photo at the top oddly reminds me of a Christmas photo of my husband’s late mother and her sisters. There is only one sister left alive, and it’s really poignant to see a photo of them at a very young age, all looking so happy and innocent. I don’t know why the post photo reminds me, since these are all grown women. But there is the same sort of old-fashioned feel to it, I guess.

  3. The woman driving the car has a look that says to me, why am I always the responsible one, having to drive my drunk, flirtatious sisters home. Sigh.

    Like Sure Thing, I’m an only. Fortunately, I have good sister & brother in-laws.

  4. I am an only child and am baffled by the whole sibling idea, mostly because I don’t know too many people who get along well with theirs.

    1. I was often envious of people with sibs. My cousins were cool but older and the younger ones lived far away. While I saw a good many children and older people who had bad sibling relationships, I saw a lot of good ones.

      I mostly grew out of the envy and I try to let children know that their sib is the only one who can understand them and the reasons for how they are and why they have issues. I tell them that they should show the same compassion and understanding even if they learn to react differently to same home life. It’s built-in emotional support if you can show care.

  5. I have two brothers. I’m close to the younger one, Ed, but my older brother thinks I’m going to hell and makes no attempt to keep connected. I’ve given up. Which is a tad sad.

    However, I have excellent sisters by choice and great cousins, so I’m not missing out. For those of you who are onlies, my sisters by choice are closer to me than my close brother, so I don’t think you’re necessarily missing much.

    My mother had two sisters (only one of my aunts is still alive of the three of them) and while they were close, there was also a lot of bad feelings between the youngest and the two older sisters. I don’t think you get that with chosen family. YMMV!

  6. As the oldest of my sisters and brother I can tell you it had been hell. From being the one to watch over them till our dad came home from work and our mother going to work, a matter of two hours, believe me it felt like an eternity. I must have been eleven or so. I know now they must have felt like I was the entitled one which I think the oldest is in ranking siblings. It created some kind of resentment. I seem to be the only one that will call my sisters and one year I actually made a vow that I would not call to see if they would call me. It took one year for my sister to call and I’m still waiting for the other. I know my mother had issues with her sisters and my mother in law, too. Boy did we fight over clothes. I just remembered what my father in law said about his sisters, that the first one up was the best one dressed. Some sisters are close and some aren’t and that’s life. I’ll also sometimes stay away from books about sisters maybe because I’m jealous of their closeness. But I’ll tell you right now nobody better mess with my sisters and I’m in my seventies.

  7. My sisters and I have a good relationship, close but not to close. We do not call each other more than about once a month, unless something particularly exciting is going on. Plus I have step brothers and sisters with whom I had good relationships although they were older. As the youngest, I don’t really acknowledge the partial or legal relationships.

    My closest relationship was with my oldest sister, who was a step and 9 years older. Up until her death 13 years ago, we talked all the time. She came to visit me at least once a year, usually twice. She took me to my first bar at 18 (NCO Club on the Base. Her husband was in the military). She tried to teach me to bowl and gave me good advice (“Bowling doesn’t seem to be your sport. Actually, Jessie, I don’t think you have a sport”). She thought I was a brilliant sculptor and an even better painter (the eyes of love). I miss her.

  8. Love the photo! It’s so funky.
    About sisters though – I’m not so sure. It is different from family to family. I have one sister, and she doesn’t speak to me. We are strangers, not because I want it but because she does. I have never been able to bridge this gap.

    1. Hugs, Olga. I have two sisters and I love them both. I’m reasonably close with one, although we have little in common, and the other barely acknowledges my existence. It breaks my heart, but there isn’t anything to be done.

      Thank the gods for sisters (and brothers) by choice. And Argh and the Betties.

  9. Having to sign in to post. Each time. Two times for this blog post so far. Annoying but not fatal.

  10. I don’t have sisters; my brother and I don’t get along.

    I always imagined that girls who have sisters are also the types who have groups of close friends who last forever. (I have never had a group of close friends.)

    A lot of novels have clusters of girls or women.

    Yet, in real life I have friends, including several close ones, scattered all over the place, and I’m very happy. I guess I’ve separated the kind of story sisters/girlfriends into a fictional group which is far from my reality. (Besides, those extra friends in novels are good at getting info across to the reader.)

  11. I have one sister. We were close as kids, but have grown somewhat apart. She doesn’t like to talk much, but she can cook and makes delicious food. She is still my sister by choice as well even though we don’t get along much.

  12. I am the youngest of three sisters and believe that being raised with such strong minded, beautiful and just tough women made me a better woman. My sisters and I have had many times over the years where one was left out at some point but in the last ten years as we have gotten older it has balanced out. The only thing is being the baby of the family, I am constantly being advised and told what to do with my life. But I did learn a lot from watch THEM make more mistakes …………….so its worth it. I am grateful I can have a conversation with two more amazing women who I can say……………”werent our parents fucking crazy for doing…..” and they can finish the thought. There is huge comfort in that. We are not perfect, but we are for eachother.

  13. I am lucky enough to have 4 sisters and 1 brother. We all get along well (perhaps because we all live far apart) and call each other periodically. My oldest sister took over our mother’s role of keeping us in touch and up to date with one another’s news. We all look forward to her newsy emails and reply in turn with our own news. We do try to have a sibling reunion every 2-3 years but it doesn’t always work. But when we do manage it, we have a lot of fun.

  14. I am the youngest of six. My mom says I’m her reward for not killing the other 5. 😉
    My sister is a disaster and I just stay away. Though she only calls when she wants bail money for someone in her family, so it’s an easy “no.”
    I am very close to two of my brothers. I spent last week with the one in DC, attending concerts by the Eagles and James Taylor and Shelby Lynn. We probably talk on the phone twice a week.

  15. Just read thru all the comments and it seems about 50-50 as far as liking or not liking your sibs.
    I have 1 bro, 7 yrs younger, haven’t talked to him since 1997. He’s a jerk, just like my dad was, so it’s ok with me. Sure wish I’d had a sister or two.
    Interesting conversation.

  16. I have excellent girlfriends, there through thick and thin, and feel deeply grateful for them. I also have a brother, who I don’t see as much as I would like to even though we live in the same city. We’re not close, but I love him dearly all the same.

    I can’t imagine not wanting to be close to family, my mum is one of six and in their 50s-60s, they’re still relatively close. So this conversation is enlightening.

  17. Family is important, whether the one you were born with or the one you made.

    As you get older, being in touch with the people who knew you and gets your in jokes & the pop culture references of your day

    To them you’re not that tired grown up person you see in the mirror, to them you’re still that kid that tried to fly, was up with all night, performed bad karaoke with before there were camera phones, that person people forget they used to be.

  18. I have one sister and 2 sister in laws. My sister and I were not particularly close when we were young and into our 50’s but we became much closer when our mum became ill. We started to ring each other every day and now 20 years later we still do plus we have daily text and WhatsApp conversations. We text each other first thing in the morning to see how we are. When I was very ill in hospital she and my brother in law were rocks and visited every day for the three months I was in. My husband knew they would be there for him in the initial very dark days. We are very different personalities but don’t argue I think we both just bite our tongues and do whatever we intended to. I’m the oldest but she likes to boss so I just smile and quietly ignore.

    I have a good relationship with my sisters in law, younger sister to one and much older sister to the youngest.

    I’m glad I’m not an only and sad my son is.

  19. I am very close to my oldest sister. My middle sister had strokes when she was still in her 50s, and so it not really with it in this plane of existence, but even before that, I loved her more in a historical, shared past sense than the immediate, shared interests and principles sense that I have with the eldest. I have cousins who I seldom see, with whom I do not agree on many issues, but as I get older, I do value them for the sense of family and biological connection.

    With all of them, as long as I don’t try to get more out of the relationship than is really available, I can enjoy what there is. Cynical but workable.

  20. I have a big brother. I love him. We’ve always gotten along, but he works a lot and lives a four hour round trip away, so since he’s had kids, we only see each other around Thanksgiving and Christmas and, sad to say, our grandmother’s recent funeral.

    He has two somewhat girly girls, though, so he sees something of his engineering self in my son. He’s the only one in Max’s life who encourages him to play video games! “Hey, Max. I’ve got a new game. Want to see it?” The answer is always YES.

    Also, when Max was born, he looked so much like my brother/my dad, instead of his own parents, it was quite hilarious.

  21. I’m the oldest of two, and my brother is the Good One. I was the grave disappointment; nobody ever said “Jenny” without sighing and shaking their heads, which is amazingly freeing since you get the same reaction no matter what you do. Fortunately, my brother really is a good one, solid and honest and dependable, lives across the street from my parents, now visits my mother several times a week in the nursing home. We don’t talk much, and we never talk about politics–I don’t know what his politics are but since he lives in a small town in central Ohio, I have an idea–but we always say “I love you” and mean it, and when we hug, it’s the real deal. He really is just a good, good guy. (I’m the terrible warning (g).) For sisterhood, I have Krissie, Best Sister Ever.

  22. My brother and I barely speak, and whatever. I’m over trying to fix it.

    I do have two daughters, and watching their sisterhood is the joy of my life.

  23. My sister is very precious to me and I’m grateful we become friends as adults, because growing up was a little perilous. We were in the deep south, not native to that environment, confused and angry and displaced … little wonder we both tended to lash out at the nearest available target. The only person who has ever hit me was my sister. 🙂 It’s been very different since our college years, when each of us was able to find a supportive tribe.

    But she is also my beta reader and this weekend she told me that a thing I wrote made her laugh out loud, and that makes me Very Happy.

  24. I don’t know, but it always seems to me that good sibling relationships depend partly on the ‘people skills’ of the parents — which can help THEM get along despite the challenges of sharing a bathroom — and the psychological similarity of the various branches of the family, which help individuals in that family find simpatico help in growing up and dealing with life.

    My parents were very different, but thanks to World War II, met on a troop train in a snowstorm and ended up creating two different psychological strains of children. As a result, one of my sisters never did see the point of my dad, but agreed with my mother that math was super fun and books were boring, while my youngest sister and I were always critiqued by my mother for sitting around with our noses in a book and not being excited about touch football, camping out, or entering the science fair.

    We were sort of lucky, in that the inner traits went along with some outer signs of these family strains; I always found I could enjoy talking and relate better with my dark-haired, dark-eyed cousins and older relatives, while the blue-eyed tribe thought my middle sister was SUCH a wonderful girl.

    As the oldest, I looked after both sisters when our mother died, and did my best to help both of them navigate social waters that had been hard for me, but after many years, I’m in frequent touch with my similar sib, and kind of estranged from the other.

    I think this is part of why successive generations of a family tend to disperse and lose touch as the gene pool gets swept apart by different input. Still, sibling stuff is an endless source of both good stuff and bad stuff. I’ve enjoyed every post on this topic, so best wishes to all of you and your simpatico genetic or chosen sibs!


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