Cherry Saturday, May 12, 2018

Today is Limerick Day.  

Per Wikipedia: “A limerick is a form of verse, often humorous and sometimes obscene, in five-line, predominantly anapestic[1] meter with a strict rhyme scheme of AABBA, in which the first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme.”  

Per me: A limerick is an annoying form of verse that is usually intended to be funny and is often intended to be dirty.”  


There was a young lady of Niger
who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
with the lady inside,
and the smile on the face of the tiger.  (Edward Lear)

There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez.
When comments arose
On the state of her clothes,
She replied, “When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez.” (Ogden Nash)

Wikipedia had this one which I think is pretty clever:

Which when read out loud is:

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

Another favorite:

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
And when they asked why,
He said “I do try!
But when I get to the last line I try to fit in as many words as I can.”

Feel free to add more in the comments.  There’s that one about Nantucket (clean and dirty versions) that I feel sure we’ll see down there.  :






26 thoughts on “Cherry Saturday, May 12, 2018

  1. There was an old man
    From Peru. Whose lim’ricks all
    Looked like haiku. He

    Said with a laugh, I
    Cut them in half, the pay is
    Much better for two!

    Emmet O’Brien

    That’s the only poem I know that’s better written down than out loud.

    A writer of romance called Jenny
    Got stuck though she’d written so many
    She thought it had beat her,
    Until spooky Nita
    Got devilled by Nick from Gehenny.

    1. Another limerick/haiku hybrid:

      There was a young man
      From Cork who got limericks
      And haikus confused

  2. Take a theme—make it striking and new:
    Find rhymes—just a couple will do:
    Put it all into verse
    That is witty and terse—
    And you can write limericks too!

  3. How complex the limerick’s lure—
    So stylised, so formal, so pure:
    Though coarse yet exact,
    Though broad yet compact,
    Rude, vulgar, assertive, cocksure.

  4. There was a young lady of Quetta. A
    Tattooist once offered to fetter her
    And stencil rude quips
    On her thighs and her hips,
    Etc., etc., etc.

    (Do I win a prize for the shortest last line evah?)

      1. My work here is done! I kid you not it was the first thing that came to mind when I thought it best be Argh-relevant.

  5. Oh cwap. I forgot to intro that link. It’s to an article about food in books helped the writer to improve her life. Your description of chicken marsala came to mind.

  6. There was a young fellow from China
    Whose poetry was-a much fine-a
    But his limericks tend
    To come to an end
    Quite suddenly.

  7. I always enjoy playing the limerick game when I listen to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me on NPR (usually a few weeks later as a podcast, but still), and scandalizing my Creative Writing classes with this one:

    There was a young girl from Madras
    What had a most beautiful ass:
    Not rounded and pink,
    As you probably think–
    But grey, with long ears, and ate grass.

  8. My dad has a great talent for writing silly, clean limericks. (He might write great dirty ones, but I’m his daughter and don’t really want to know.)
    My favorite that I remember by heart is –

    “The famed Alexander Graham Bell
    I hope he rots in hell
    There’s not a moment alone
    Without the ring of the phone
    With someone with something to sell. “

  9. There was a young lady named Bright,
    Whose speed was far faster than light;
    She started one day
    In a relative way,
    And returned on the previous night.
    —Arthur Henry Reginald Buller in Punch (Dec. 19, 1923)

    Science limericks–ya gotta love ’em.

    1. Said the Bright one to friends while in chatter,
      “I have learned something new about matter!
      Though my speed was so great,
      Much increased was my weight,
      Yet I failed to become any fatter!”

  10. There once was a lady from Clyde,
    Who ate so many apples, she died.
    The apples fermented
    Within the lamented
    Creating cider inside her insides.

  11. My dad loved this one:

    There was a young man from Chicago
    who wondered what made a buzz saw go.
    He put down his face
    right close to the place.
    The doctor said, “Where did your jaw go?”

  12. In our fabulous 21st century,
    Nobody’s lunch is for free.
    The news and wi-fi,
    Cat videos and lies —
    All come with a complementary cookie.

  13. It’s the only thing I remember writing in my college poetry class.

    There once was a girl named Priscilla,
    Who thought she deserved a chinchilla,
    But her boyfriend named Chad
    Was a bit of a cad
    And all that she got was gorilla.

  14. Late to the game, but loving this post. A good friend turned 50 last year and for a gift, she asked guests to bring something to perform. (I know, right? I almost didn’t go!) But I decided on a limerick:

    There once was a girl named Catrine
    Who was turning fifty in Eugene
    Her hair was not gray
    Her boobs not a-sway
    And that, not this limerick, is obscene.

    1. Catrine, Catrine, Catrine, Catreeeeeeeeeen.

      I’m begging of you, please don’t steal my man.

        1. (-: It’s originally Dolly Parton’s “Jolene”. Her beauty is beyond compare, with flaming locks of auburn hair, and ivory skin, and eyes of emerald green.

          I bet Jolene aged well, and is still flirting with all the married men who come into the bank.

  15. Cherry books

    Gin Jones Recent and upcoming releases

    •“Not-So-Bright Hopes” (Danger Cove Quilting Mystery short story) in PUSHING UP DAISIES, April 2018

    •Danger Cove Mysteries, boxed set (includes first Farmers’ Market Mystery), April 2018

    •Deadly Thanksgiving Sampler, Danger Cove Quilting Mystery, fall 2018

    •A Display of Death (Helen Binney Mysteries), early 2019

    Anne Stuart Heartless May 15

    Chris Merrill- A Kiss Away from Scandal June 22

    Alyssa Day – March and April in Atlantis soon.

    Barbara O’Neal July 17 The Art of Inheriting Secrets

    Robin LaFevers (His Fair Assassin) Courting Darkness Feb 2019

    Corrina Lawson Warriors of Seneca, just re-released on May 1. Eagle of Seneca to release on June 1.

    Heidi Cullinan Coming soon and recent releases

  16. My godfather wrote one about a cat of ours.

    “A cat filled with evil infinite
    could raise absolute hell in a minute
    his name was Leroy
    and he could destroy
    a house and everything in it.”


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