Your Moment of Dog: Goldi-Milton

~ Jenny

So I was going to wait until the new year to start a new recurring feature–Your Moment of Dog–but then today I was cleaning out the basement for the insulation guys who are coming Friday and heard Milton make this racket. Squirrel, I figure. He has a thing for squirrels. Still, the neighbors would probably appreciate some silence so I go out and yell at him to get up those steps and shut up.

And then I look closer:

Milton the Dumbass

This has been Your Moment of Dog.

Addendum: Slight better pictures of bears:

Bears 1, 2, & 3

Bears 1 & 2

67 thoughts on “Your Moment of Dog: Goldi-Milton”

  1. Aaaaaacccccck! Run, Milton!

    Hell, I saw that pic and started running and, yeah. I don’t live there.

  2. OMG! Nice to know that your safety is in such good hands. Er, paws. I’m sure he could have taken those bears.

    I just got the news that my tiny calico cat Samhain is finally losing her 6 year battle with chronic renal failure. The vet estimates we have a couple of months. But she’s so feisty, she’d still take on those bears. Thanks for the Moment of Dog, I need that.

    2. I’m so sorry to hear that, Deborah. There’s no easy way out of a situation like that.

    7. Deborah, I am so sorry about your cat. She sounds like quite the fighter.

      I have a senior cat (18+) who has kidney disease. I have to give him subcutaneous fluids once a week but he still enjoys life. It will be very hard to lose him when it’s his time to go.

    9. So sorry. Pets are so dear – I know Samhain is – and they leave us too soon. Six years! Feisty, indeed.

    12. Am very sorry to hear about your cat. My ancient, creaky dogs are beloved family members so I know how hard this must be for you.

  3. My little dog, (a Pom) just went blind a month ago from Retinal Degeneration, but she can still get around and is doing well. During the day she is in a playpen to keep her safe. I’m sorry Deb. Been there, done that.
    But Milton…with his short legs, I can see ninja kicking here. I would have been more scared the he appeard to be.

  4. Bears! In December! How weird. All of ours have been denned up for a month or better, we had a very mild fall. Tall Boy and I went out to look at a big male grizzly who was haunting the same lease at the same time for a good 10 days but we were one day late. It went down to -20 the night before and he stayed in bed the next morning. We would have gone sooner but TB was working.

    Brave Milton. Silly, but brave.

    1. They’re black bears, so they’re really mellow. Grizzlies? I don’t think so.
      It was 50 today, so they’re not exactly in deep hibernation. They did all pile together by the steps as the sun went down.

      1. It’s funny how many of my memories of childhood center around black bears.

        My sister is a millwright and used to work in Banff, in the Rocky Mountains, on the gondola there. She and her co-workers were often trapped inside their shop by grizzlies who thought quitting time was a good time to peruse the salad bar. More often they were trapped by elk, but she spent a lot of time waiting on bears.

        We live right in the heart of grizzly country so sightings, especially by the guys who work in the oil field, are common. Where Tall Boy used to work, several hours north of here, they have a lot of grizzlies too. It was a rare week up there when he didn’t see any.

      2. How wonderful to see wild bears just outside your house. Milton did a good job bringing them to your attention!

    1. I live in northern NJ which is moderately wild, but still pretty heavily populated with people. So there’s a lot of people/wildlife interaction. My neighbor down the way is saving a fox with mange by throwing medicated chicken legs to him every day. The last time Milton had a major barking fit, my neighbor across the street had about twenty deer on her front lawn. Milton got out and ran up to them barking and they didn’t bat an eye. We have fairly mellow wildlife here.

      Of course, I say that, and something horrible will happen, but for right now, the bears stay down by the river until about 1AM when they come up and cut across our yard to get my neighbor’s garbage. Milton is locked in for the night by then, but he still yells at them from the window.

      1. There’s an essay from John McPhee writing about northern NJ, and he says it is a textbook place for bears. And I believe him more when your pups can find them on your… dock? yikes!!

        1. Shower yourself with that spray they sell in the wilderness stores. Bear-Be-Gone or something like that. THEN carry Milton with you at all times. You can never be too careful 😉

          1. Really, black bears are very laid-back. Up until this September, the last fatal bear attack in NJ was in 1852. Then a hiker was found dead in West Milford, so . . .
            I don’t plan on chatting with them. They can have the boathouse and we’ll take the top of the hill.

  7. Eeek! We get excited to see a hedgehog or a deer! I forget you still have real wild in the States.

  10. Yowza. We have hooligan/raccoon interactions all the time, have had a wild turkey in my garage, deer are regular visitors, and coyotes, foxes, and great horned owls are common. Once I heard a mountain lion kill her prey and huff for her cubs. But bears? Whoo boy, I’d be a ball of nerves.
    OTOH, seems appropriate for your fairy tale world. Getcha right in the mood!

  11. I feel like an also-ran here. A loser. One who doesn’t measure up. We have no deer. No bears. All we have in our back yard is a skunk. In the middle of a city with a population of a million!

  13. Yipes! Your dog Milton is way bigger than his britches… The bears on the dock reminded me of how a large number of sea lions swam into the San Francisco piers several years ago and commandeered a bunch of boat docks. A new fun tourist attraction. If it had been bears, I bet the pier would have been abandoned. Do the bears like to swim?

    1. Black bears are, in general, very laid back. Loud noises make them run away, unless they live in northern NJ where they’re like, “Eh, noise” and go back to sleep. Brown bears and polar bears, on the other hand . . .

  15. The squirrels love to taunt my yorkies and the yorkies are more than ready to be taunted. You would think they would bark themselves into laryngitis, but that never happens. The other day one of the more reckless squirrels decided to give the dogs a real thrill. He made a run down the tall tree, then sprinted across to a fencepost about 3 or 4 feet away. He nearly didn’t make it. Sweetums got her nose in the fur of his tail, but not her teeth. It was a thrill for the dog and the squirrel. I think the dog enjoyed her thrill more. She’ll always remember the one that barely got away.

    1. For years I have let my dogs chase squirrels. Beagle, wolfhound mix, friend’s lab mix, little fox terrier.. look go catch the squirrel! Dog runs, squirrel runs up the tree and chatters rude things down on all of us. Fun for all.

      Then I had a border collie mix. Sucker caught the squirrel and then dropped it on command. I actually had to let her kill it since it wasn’t going to survive the walk to the car in that condition.

      So now, I tell the new dogs – Mollie ruined it for you – no one is ever chasing a squirrel again.

      I will say I still think squirrels are cute even though the dogs are trying to convince me they’re a invading force just waiting to take over the world.

      1. Milton loathes squirrels. The rage in his voice as he chases them is palpable: “DIE YOU LITTLE RATS.”
        With the bears, it was more like, “Go away, go away.”

  17. I almost kinda saw a platypus swimming and taunting his audience from a Tasmanian pond two weeks ago. Photographic results still under review. Closest I come to wild beasts unless you count the mad Maltese I live with when he sights other canines on the tv or on the street. Bears. (*shudder*) A reason never to return to New Jersey.

  20. Talk of bears always reminds me of the wonderful passage in Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods when he’s lying awake in his tent on the Appalachian Trail remembering all the stories he’s heard about fatal bear attacks.

    “Black bears rarely attack. But here’s the thing. Sometimes they do. All bears are agile, cunning and immensely strong, and they are always hungry. If they want to kill you and eat you, they can, and pretty much whenever they want. That doesn’t happen often, but – and here is the absolutely salient point – once would be enough.”

    Somehow, it gets very funny.

    1. Yeah, really. “Dachshund” means “badger dog” because they were fearless and went after badgers in their dens (hence the short legs).

      Fearless but cute.

    1. I think that is the Mama Bear and her two grown cubs. She had three, but she rejected one of them, so my neighbor, Helen the Saint, the woman who is saving the mange-ridden fox, called the county and they came out and took the baby bear and moved him to another bear who adopted him. Helen is my favorite neighbor ever.

      3. Oh wow. I thought she was amazing when you explained about medicated chicken but this is somebody who goes above and beyond!

        Hello Argh Inkers. Happy Everything. I’m currently Lady Lurks-a-lot because it’s Summer vacation and I have too much to do.

  24. Thing is, living in Australia, I’m more scared of snakes and spiders. I think I’d prefer the bears, they’re magnificent. Funny thing, Mum got worried the dogs would chase snakes, so she bought one of those fake ones, meaning to teach them not to go near them. Problem is, where to store it? Every time we see it, even knowing it is fake, it gives us a fright!

  26. We camp in Yosemite Valley every summer and it’s rare if we DON’T have a black bear encounter. They’re super mellow as long as all your noshes and deodorant and trash are properly locked up. Normally they wander through camp, give you a lifted “‘Sup?” muzzle and move on.

  27. Jenny, I was worried about you after reading today about the “Bear Lady” in NC who went missing, and now they’ve found her bones, and they think black bears might have killed her. Supposedly, she’d stopped feeding them when the police came in and warned her. I know you won’t feed them, but here was the worrisome part–the article it said, “Black bears have killed 61 Americans since 1900, including six in the past five years, far outnumbering brown bear attacks.”

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2932606/Bear-Lady-North-Carolina-killed-bear-authorities-savaged-remains-woods.html#ixzz3QJC9rgUV

    1. I’m fine, no worries.

      The Daily Mail isn’t exactly a sound source, and its source was Fox News. The original article said they have no idea how she died. So it’s entirely possible this woman, living alone in a trailer without plumbing, electricity, or a phone at 67, died of natural causes, at which point the bears (or something else) dragged her into the woods and ate the remains. Circle of life. Reading about her, that’s probably how she’d have wanted it.

      I love the Daily Mail for the thrill value, but always track the source back. Fox News is about as reliable. The local paper they picked up the story from is much more low key, although they also pointed out that she’d been feeding the bears which is never a good idea.

      But yes, I’m careful. Really.

  28. I’m so glad!!! I think I’ll imagine you in the NJ wilderness surrounded by nice bears who wear top hats and monocles, speak like Paddington, and play poker on your lakeside deck.

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