Monday, April 10, 2006

SHE WROTE: Let Him Eat Ding Dongs

I searched for that damn sock, too. The problem is, my laundry room is in my closet (because that’s where it makes the most sense) and once I’d searched the washer, the dryer, and the floor, I began to wonder if it hadn’t migrated into the mess that is my wardrobe. I could just see a filmy stocking cooing to his argyle, only to suck it into the twisted mass of wreckage that is my “clothes to be sorted and hung up later.” Then he says he did it on purpose. I’m doing this turkey’s laundry (because I’m his hostess, not because I’m a girl) and he gaslights me with one sock.

He doesn’t deserve me.

Which is probably what he’d tell you, too. In a different tone of voice.

And I did so have coffee AND a coffee maker, but did he ask me to set it up the night before even though he knows I don’t do mornings? Nooooooooo.

And then I come back to the blog and everybody’s talking about chocolate and do I have any? No, because Bob took the booksigning gifts upstairs with him. Sigh.

Then today, we did Cincinnati. Our escort was Kathy, and she was a real trooper considering what she had to put up with, starting with Bob whining when I told him candy corn was not a vegetable. Then we had an argument about whether I’d ever taken Exit 4 off the interstate (“Did not.” “Did, too.” “Did not.” “Did, too.”) until she yelled, “Children!” and then I said, “He started it,” which did not make me seem more mature, I now realize. And during the live TV interview we did, the interviewer who was great said, “You should see these two during the commercial breaks. It’s like brother and sister, punching each other.” So the good news is, we’ve gotten past the “Are you married?” stuff, and now we’re into “Will you grow up, PLEASE?”

We may have been on the road too long.

There is other stuff that needs to be said, but really, there’s just a big echoing space between my ears at this point. (Don’t say it, Bob.)

Oh, and we didn’t muddle through DLD, we intuitively discovered our process as we explored the possibilities inherent in the narrative. I did love this in Bob’s blog: “One thing you’re going to see much more of is gender differences and conflict. And reconciliation and understanding.” Because that’s pretty much the story of March for Jenny and Bob. Aside from the fact that he’s TRYING to drive me crazy (one sock? what is he, twelve?) we’re doing pretty good here.

Really must go to bed now. We have to leave again in nine hours and eight of those have to be spent sleeping.

One sock. Jeez.