I Love This House

Setting is really important to me, both in fiction and in real life, and Atlas Obscura sent me a link to the perfect Crusie house this morning. I’ll never be able to use it in a book because it would take 30,000 words to describe it. The short article points out some of the phallic shapes, but completely misses the vaginal window and the fallopian tube front door. And the Eve figure is fantastic, pretty much what I’m hoping every Crusie heroine feels like at the end of the story. Continue reading

Your Moment of Dog, March 14, 2017

So today at about 9:30, I opened the front door to the expected blizzard. I shoveled a path to the driveway and then quit before I had a heart attack. Yes, it was still snowing, but it’s easier to shovel a foot of snow at a time than it is to shovel four, and this stuff isn’t supposed to stop until eight tonight. We’re getting two to three inches an hour. You do the math.

The dogs do not do math. I went inside, yelled, “Outside!” (their favorite word next to “Cookie!”) and Milton and Mona raced through the door. Continue reading

Cherry Saturday: 3-11-2017

Today is Oatmeal Nut Waffle Day. And I object.

I don’t object to oatmeal nut waffles, I’m sure they’re tasty and good for you. I object to this insanely specific day. I can go along with Waffle Day or World Nut Day, maybe even Oatmeal Waffle Day, but when you get down to a double-modifier, you’re just being ridiculous.

Bottom line: Eat whatever waffles you want. The Waffle God will still be appeased. Continue reading

Cherry Saturday: 2-25-2017

Today is World Sword Swallowers Day.

There are better hobbies. As the Wikipedia says:

“Sword swallowing is a skill in which the performer passes a sword through the mouth and down the esophagus to the stomach. This feat is not swallowing in the traditional sense; the natural processes that constitute swallowing do not take place, but are repressed in order to keep the passage from the mouth to the stomach open for the sword. The practice is dangerous and there is risk of injury.”

YA THINK?

“Careful focus is required to complete the process without injury, as the sword passes within millimetres of vital body parts such as the aorta, heart and lungs.[6]”

What idiot first thought, “There’s a long sharp object. I think I’ll put it in my mouth in order to bring it closer to my aorta, heart, and lungs. Hold my beer.”

I recommend crochet. No swallowing.