“Remember the white dress I wore through that film? George came up to me to the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: “You can’t wear a bra under that dress.”
“Okay, I’ll bite,” I said. “Why?”
And he said: “Because… there’s no underwear in space.”
He said it with such conviction. Like he had been to space and looked around and he didn’t see any bras or panties anywhere.
He explained. “You go into space and you become weightless. Then your body expands but your bra doesn’t, so you get strangled by your own underwear.”

“I think this would make for a fantastic obituary. I tell my younger friends that no matter how I go, I want it reported that I drowned in the moonlight, strangled by my own bra.” Continue reading

Wolfgang Smith, A Good Dog and True: 2001-2016


Wolfie was born in a &%^$*&^ puppy mill which is why he had such extreme parrot mouth and looked like a very small, deranged wolf. He was shipped to a pet store where some idiot bought him and then returned him. Then somebody else bought him, and then they gave him to somebody else. I picked him up to take him to Dachshund Rescue as a courier and then refused to hand him over, so I was his fourth owner before he was a year old. We were together for the next fourteen years, through moves to Columbus, two moves in Cincinnati, and one move to New Jersey. He was generally an easy-going dog, aside from the occasional bouts of vamp-face snarling that tapered off as he got older. He had issues. Who doesn’t?

He was the model for Steve in Faking It, and appeared as himself with new puppy Milton in Dogs and Goddesses. I’m sure he’s now chasing squirrels in dog heaven (he always got along with cats), free of the arthritis, blindness, deafness, heart murmur, leg tumor, and other ailments that brought him down in the end.

He is survived by his foster brother, Milton, his foster sisters, Mona and Veronica, and that woman who kept feeding him.

He was a good dog and true, and he will be very much missed.

Why, Yes, Russ Parsons Is My Cousin


I know, I name drop him all the time, but I’m very proud that Russ Parsons, internationally known writer, IS MY COUSIN. And he has a great weekly e-mail newsletter, In the Kitchen, that you should subscribe to if you like food. Sign up here because Russ is possibly the only person who has gone out drinking with Julia Child, the Clash, and Muddy Waters, although (he says) not at the same time. Also me. Because he’s my cousin. And he’s BRILLIANT about food and music and he’s a good, good guy. Also, did I mention he’s my cousin? I’m very proud.