Argh, Name Question in Nita, SPOILER

I have a quick spoiler question for anybody who’s read the last version of Act One (weeks ago). So if you don’t want spoiled, don’t read below or in the comments.

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SPOILER!

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Okay, if you’re still here, you’re on your own.
Remember how Nick had lost an agent named Sadiel and then Nita bought Mort’s birthday present from Sadie’s Demonista?  I don’t care if people saw that reveal coming, but I do care if people are wondering why the hell Nick and Nita don’t get it sooner or, even more important, Jeo and Rab, who are not stupid and who have been there longer and investigated the town.  I like the idea that she doesn’t want to change her name, but I’m afraid it’s just so obvious that it makes everybody in the story idiots.  So when you read the first act, did you make the connection and wonder why none of the people in the story did?  

Because I think I have to change her alias.

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45 thoughts on “Argh, Name Question in Nita, SPOILER

      1. I’m stuck with Sadiel because I’m trying to use actual demon names. I think “Zadie” might stick out too much.

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  1. I didn’t notice until she panicked when she heard Nick was in town. (I can’t remember if that was in the last version or one of the earlier ones.) I think some readers, who are a little more alert than me, might notice. Maybe you could change it to Sally?

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    1. If you didn’t notice, I’d rather keep it. She’s always been a Sadie to me.
      She doesn’t panic, Crome does. She panics when he walks in the store, but that’s the reveal.
      (I know, it was ages ago.)

      2+

  2. Didn’t notice. I feel like an idiot for not noticing and would like to pretend otherwise since it’s obvious now, but you need honesty, so there it is.

    5+

    1. Yeah, likewise. Didn’t notice, feel like I should’ve. I think I didn’t notice because the demon names are weird enough that I have trouble remembering them. That works in your favour there.

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  3. I didn’t notice, and it was a bit of an ahhh! moment for me when it was revealed. I think because Sadie is not a particularly unusual name, so I didn’t associate it with the more unusual Sadiel.

    However you asking why Jeo and Rab didn’t notice when they were investigating the town did also make me think that was a reasonable question, though that was more why didn’t they recognise her when they were investigating the town.

    Don’t know if this was particularly helpful, sorry!

    3+

    1. That’s a good point. I think she’d duck them. She has friends who’d warn her, but that’s something I should deal with.

      3+

  4. Noticed, made a semi-maybe-could-it-be connection, but didn’t sit up and bark. I’m not – last time I checked – not an idiot, none of the story people are. I liked and appreciated name connection, didn’t take it further. Go with it.

    1+

  5. I totally noticed … after you pointed it out 🙂

    Sadie is so common and American and homespun that it rolled past me, but I found myself giving “Sadiel” the side-eye … for whatever reason in my mind, it has a French thing going.

    But now that you point it out, I do wonder why Jeo (still not used to that – I’ll get there!) and Rab wouldn’t have checked out the shop given the similarity in names, since they were actively looking around.

    1+

    1. Yep, gonna have to deal with that.
      Sadiel is an actual demon name; I bought a dictionary of demons which is unfortunately Western heavy but still useful.

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  6. I didn’t notice it, and was too caught up in the action in front of me to worry about what Rab and Jeo had been doing/not doing.

    4+

  7. I did not spot it, I think it’s because it was right out in the open. If you’re looking for an someone undercover and believe they’re in peril or dead the last thing you expect is their name on a Shop sign.

    4+

  8. I’m pretty sure I didn’t notice. Although reading these drafts isn’t the same as starting a completed novel – I might notice more detail then.

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  9. I pronounce Sadiel and Sadie differently. The ‘a’ in the first is short, but in the second is long. While I would make the connection between Kathryn and Katy instantly, Sadiel doesn’t ping the same.
    It also helps that the language nerd in me knows that Sadie derives from Sara, so that’s the name I connect Sadie to.

    3+

  10. I didn’t connect the two. Keep it the way it is, it’ll be fine. Unless you really want to change it,of course.

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  11. So I think based on this, I’ll keep it, but find some way to explain why Rab and Jeo don’t find her.
    THANK YOU ALL.

    And now, on to Cherry Saturday.

    4+

    1. He doesn’t have a son. Just Nita. Mort is the mayor’s. Superfecundation. It’s in there at the beginning of Act 2.

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    1. I might get away with that. They’ve been there a week, but they’ve been searching for the gates first, the agents second.
      I think I’ll still have to deal with it, but I’m feeling better about not changing it.

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      1. Hold it, why aren’t they searching for the agents first? Nick seems really worried about the agents, I assumed Jeo and Rab only started searching for the gates after they failed to find the agents and Nick came to take that search over himself.

        Could Sadie have been out of town? And having her sign repaired while she was away?

        1+

        1. I think getting Sadie’s name off the sign is a big help.

          They started with the gate because that was the primary mission. They also figured that since both agents disappeared on that mission, whatever had happened would turn up again and lead them to the others.

          Nick is concerned about the missing agents, they’re his responsibility, but he puts the gate first.

          1+

        2. It makes sense to me that if you’re losing agents, you would block all the ways in and out before you started looking for them the next time.

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      2. I noticed but not in a bad way. A sort of oh, I wonder if that’s one of the missing but not enough to stop the story or ooh, too obvious way.

        However afterwards, I might wonder why the boys didn’t find her. Or any of the other multiple demons and 2nd and 3rd generation demon spawn that are walking around. Outside of the smite, you don’t have any magic, right? So Sadie couldn’t have anything like a “nothing to see here spell on her shop”? And the demon liquor already proved that Jeo & Rab know they can’t find demons passing for human without a test.

        I think if their real mission was to find the gates rather than the missing agents it might work for me. Because once you’ve lost both the first agent and then the one sent to find him, Nick might not want to risk them until they knew where the gates were and could close them off. So they weren’t really looking for Sadiel so they didn’t find Sadiel.

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  12. I never picked up on it, but I read letter clumps and don’t sound out anything. (Hearing Harry Potter read aloud was a very different book!)

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    1. But then, Stephen Fry is an Emperor among men!

      I know this from his reading of Roald Dahl’s The Enormous Crocodile. I couldn’t afford HP audio books when they can out and then forgot about them when I had money. Sigh.

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  13. I also didn’t get the connection before the reveal. I would wonder why Rab and Jeo, who was Dag?, didn’t find her, but could be persuaded that it is a woman’s shop so didn’t look. I may not have realized Sadiel is a girls name. For what it’s worth, autocorrect just switched Sadiel to Sadie’s for me.

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  14. Makes me wonder how exactly the two minions are ‘investigating’ the town. Are they doing a textual analysis of names and so on? Looking for strange vibes? Peering around in the dark looking for some kind of arcane luminescence? Odd demonish smells of sulfur or something?

    My thought is that they might not be paying attention to names, so the spelling similarity might not register with them at all.

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    1. They have the reports that Sadiel and Forcas sent back and they knew where they’d been staying on the island. Other than that, they had to keep a low profile. They looked for a week, checking the hospital and the clinic, trying to find places the agents had been, asking around, but the island doesn’t talk much to strangers and they were stuck, so they told Nick they weren’t getting anywhere, and that’s when he came down and all hell broke loose. So to speak.

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  15. Umm, I caught it but maybe you could change the name of the store to Demonista and have someone refer to it as Sadie’s place or Sadie’s store.

    Maybe the waitress got her Rosie the Riveter headscarf “at Sadie’s.” Something like that.

    2+

  16. I didn’t notice the name similarity (now it seems obvious of course!) I like Office Wench Cherry’s suggestion …

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  17. I would probably have spotted it – but then I get any two characters with the same initial confused anyway. When I first read the Lord of the Rings I couldn’t tell Saruman from Sauron.

    1+

  18. Yup, I didn’t notice either, though afterwards I was like, ohhhh. Maybe it’s not so odd that they havne’t noticed before, because they’re not expecting to notice. Like, they were unaware that this town is becoming this mini-haven/vacation spot for demons and so they’re not looking for the connection. It’s amazing how much you’ll miss simply because you don’t expect to see it. You might need to slip that in later, so that readers don’t have a fridge logic moment, though.

    2+

    1. Oh, that’s a good point. Jeo and Rab have no idea the island is a refugee haven, they’re just looking for the gate and the two agents they think have disappeared because of foul play. They wouldn’t have any reason to assume that a shop owner was a missing agent.

      Yep, I’ll have to address that, too.

      1+

    2. I didn’t notice. It didn’t occur to me* that a missing demon might have started a business right out in the open, so I wasn’t thinking “gee which of these townspeople might be a demon in hiding?”

      *possibly not to Jeo or Rab, either. 😉

      1+

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