Some of you may have noticed that the blog is REALLY SLOW to load. No? Well, I have, and we’re in the midst of trying to fix it. Okay, not we exactly, Mollie’s in the midst. I’m dealing with other things, many things. I have multiple fine messes on my hands, as Ollie might have said to Stan.
For example, I can’t find my lawn trimmer which is essential because the grass is about a foot tall so my lawn mower won’t cut it. Which means I just bought another trimmer, so now I will undoubtedly find the first one. My lawn looks like pure screaming hell, so I had no choice but jeez, how many places could have I have put a four-foot long bright green rechargeable trimmer? Also I need to plant things. And finish putting together the potting table I bought, not realizing that it had ONE MILLION PIECES. I know, these are not pressing problems, but they’re a nice distraction from the news except that there’s an air quality warning out (POLLEN) so I can only go out there and hack at grass for about ten minutes before I have to come back in to avoid dying. At which point I obsessively read the news again.
And then there’s the house. Oh, god. I think I’m just going to throw everything out except for the dogs and some of the yarn and my good cooking pots and the computers. Because this is ridiculous.
Oh, then there’s the news. Our President is a mornonic Russian collaborator except I think he’s too damn dumb to know he’s colluding with a foreign power. Meanwhile the Republicans seem to be closing their eyes and wishing real hard this will all go away except for Chaffetz who’s quitting Congress and so doesn’t give a damn. The good news: The FBI, the CIA, and the NSA now have good reason to hate him, so much so that they are now collaborating with an institution they once regarded as a bitter enemy: the free press. You know that old saying, “Never pick a fight with somebody who buys their ink by the barrel?” There is no old saying about never picking a fight with all the intelligence agencies because nobody is that damn dumb. And now, Trump has alienated both. Oh, and the courts are doing a very nice job, too. It’s fascinating because it used to be that every time he did something, I’d think, “Well, he’s hit bottom.” Then he gets out a shovel . . . .
I’m really looking forward to: the Tell-All books that will be published if the country is still standing after we kick the Donald to the curb.
And then back in Nita’s world, I’m writing antagonist monologues, first person pieces in which the antagonists explain exactly what they’re doing and why that’s the right thing to do, aka Evil Overlord Monologuing according to the Evil Overlord Rules (Rule #34: I will not turn into a giant snake. It never helps). The monologues won’t be in the book–although I think any book is improved by giving the antagonist a POV except for mysteries,–but I still need to do it for me.
And sometime soon I must get the dogs to the vet for their well-puppy check-ups and take the car in for it’s well-Prius check-up and then get that inspection sticker and a new septic tank . . .
Maybe I’ll just lie here in bed and listen to the dogs snore for awhile while I pretend to be various nefarious Evil Overlords out to get Nita, all of whom will have a competence that Donald Trump does not. Did you see the WaPo report that said the people who write his security briefings make sure that his name is in every paragraph because if it’s not about him, he stops reading?
Maybe he’ll turn into a giant snake. At this point, it couldn’t hurt.