Your Moment of Dog, March 14, 2017

So today at about 9:30, I opened the front door to the expected blizzard. I shoveled a path to the driveway and then quit before I had a heart attack. Yes, it was still snowing, but it’s easier to shovel a foot of snow at a time than it is to shovel four, and this stuff isn’t supposed to stop until eight tonight. We’re getting two to three inches an hour. You do the math.

The dogs do not do math. I went inside, yelled, “Outside!” (their favorite word next to “Cookie!”) and Milton and Mona raced through the door.

“YAY, we’re outside!”

“Wait a minute. Where’s the grass?”

Then Milton discovered I’d only shoveled to the end of the patio.

“Is this a joke? Is this one of those human jokes? ‘Cause you’re laughing. NOT FUNNY.”

“Forget this. I’m outta here.”

“Nope, nope, nope.”

If you’re wondering where Veronica is, Veronica does not do nature. It’s tacky and there are no soft blankets or electric mattress pads, plus there’s all that annoying wildlife she has to bark at. It’s exhausting. She’ll go out if there’s a cookie involved, but then she’s at the gate, looking at me like “Really, you think I’m going to stay out here with the lowlife squirrels and birds. INSIDE. NOW.” If she had a tin cup, she’d be dragging it against the bars of the picket fence.

We’re all inside now. Mona is snuggled down into plushy blankets. Milton is under the plushy blankets in order to be closer to the electric mattress pad. Veronica is smug, dry and warm and not coated with snow. All is well.

Except for me. I’m gonna have at least another foot of snow to shovel. And then there’s the driveway. It’s a good day to stay inside.

(For those who worry, I have four dozen bottles of water, a huge stack of firewood, three recharging batteries for my electronics on full charge, and enough food for the apocalypse. The power will undoubtedly go out shortly, but this is not my first blizzard. No worries.)

44 thoughts on “Your Moment of Dog, March 14, 2017

  1. “Apocalypse.” I just finished re-reading Pratchett’s “Sourcery” in which the four horsemen gather for the “apocralypse” – an apocryphal apocalypse. Now I can’t read the real word properly.

    Of course, I add “and then the killings started” inappropriately, too. Maybe it’s a reaction to all this snow…

    I’m glad you’re staying (mostly) warm and dog-covered.

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  2. I”m all electric over here in Maine. But I have neighbors with fireplaces, and I’m downloading books. What a set of priorities, eh?

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  3. But I do wish I’d brought my cat over for a sleep over. Blizzards without company are kind of lonely.

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  4. Fab storyboarding:)

    And storytelling. Good opening, transition to trouble, confrontation, resolution, and return to normal. I’d tune in for the next episode. Especially with cute, loveable characters like these.

    As a Canadian pup, mine loves snow and hops her little dachshund mutt legs right through the high stuff. What she’s not keen on is wearing a coat when it’s minus a bazillion degrees celsius. Put a pic up of her the other day on my FB page in one of her coats and her face says it all. And booties, forget about it. She loves hopping through the white stuff too much & booties slow her down.

    Good luck with the snow shovelling. We are fortunate to have a kind neighbour who almost always clears our driveway with his snowblower when he’s out doing his. Makes life a lot easier.

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  5. The smaller one is an Aussie mix and loves this stuff. The bigger one is a generic brown dog and thinks some lousy owner screwed up her weather request.

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    1. I love generic dogs, especially brown ones.
      Mine are purebreds but they’re all rescues. I still can’t believe some idiots threw away Milton, Veronica, and Mona. These are excellent dogs. Well, Veronica has issues, but so do I.

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  6. THEY’RE GOOD DOGS, BRONT.

    While I am having intermittent envy for those of you who live in places with traditional weather, I am also really grateful that we don’t have to shovel our way out of the house to let the beasts do their business. Getting them to go outside during an actual rainstorm (pissing rain, gusty winds, thunder) a few weeks ago was tough enough. They went from “we’re not 12 we’re just snuggly” to “you have no respect for our old age!” then refused to participate until they were really desperate. Angus required the solemn oath of a proper walk before he’d agree to set toe out the door, then remembered he was a Lab once he was totally soaked, and wanted to stay outside and play.

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  7. “Zoey’s on a job, I always worry. It’s not out of my way.” Paraphrased.

    Dogs are the best. We got our boy as a one-year-old from people who’d advertised him for sale online. He was their pet but there were issues they blamed on other dog. Not sure that’s true. He has teeny issues but is REALLY smart. And loving. Best snuggle-upper ever.

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  8. I love this! I guess all dogs universally hate bad weather. I have a chihuahua and two mixed-breeds who are not fans of the rain. The chihuahua has to be carried to the grass in the rain, otherwise she just runs into her crate and burrows under the covers. She’s very particular about getting her paws wet. And I can’t say I blame her. The other two don’t like going out in the rain, but they go out there and just give me the look. When they run back in, they somehow avoid the towels I lay by the door and shake off all the water on the wood floor.

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  9. Oh, my. That is both dreadful and exciting at the same time. Sorry. Haven’t been in a snowstorm for at least a decade. Hope you don’t lose power, but if you do I see that you’re prepared. Love, love, love the photos.

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  10. One of my earliest childhood memories is going out in the yard after a snowstorm and falling down in snow deeper than I was tall. My little white poodle Taffy came to my rescue.

    Your dog reminds me of good old Taffy.

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  11. Welp, it’s bad enough here that I canceled our goddess weekend. It was going to be Krissie, Lani, Sweetness, and Light and me, all together again, but I’m not sure I can get the driveway shoveled out for them to park and I know New Jersey is going to be a sheet of ice in general and my driveway and front patio in particular because there’s over two feet of snow out there and it’s going to melt on Friday and run downhill. To me. Then it’s going to freeze overnight. Then it’s going to melt big time on Saturday. Then it’s going to freeze overnight. Melt, freeze, repeat. And there’s not enough salt in the world to make that safe. I’m disappointed. But I’ve stopped obsessing on how I’m going to move all this snow and keep my loved ones from breaking bones trying to get to me.

    Next weekend.

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    1. Next weekend should be better. I live about an hour east of Syracuse and so far (as of 6:30 this evening) we have had 25 inches of snow with 6-12 additional inches still to come. And that isn’t taking the winds which are expected tonight through tomorrow evening into account. With all that happening, the driving may be horrendous for the next few days. If I remember correctly, Lani lives in the Syracuse area so she is getting this too.

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      1. Wow. I think we topped out at 24″. I’ll go measure tomorrow since our snow is finally done, for the most part.
        It’s looking like we won’t reschedule until Easter, which is awful, but at least nobody’s going to die getting here.

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  12. Dare I note that I took the dogs for a long walk amid budding trees and clearish skies? Mine would walk in pouring rain if asked; I’m the wimp there. And in snow. Which is why I live where snow and minus freezing weathers are extreme rarities. Stay warm everybody!

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  13. Not so strangely reminiscent of my house. Only here the big dogs go out, do their thing and come back in, while the little one leaps high out of the snow and then disappear until the next leap. She also chased the poor neighbor boy who was plowing our drive with his ATV snow plow. Would NOT come in the house until she was one little ball of shivering ice and snow.

    You need a neighborhood boy with snowplow, Jenny. Ours works for a pittance and is very careful about where the horrid little disobedient ice ball is. I love her with all my heart, but she really is a willful creature. Part Jack Russell, don’t you know.

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  14. I live in upstate NY too (about 2 1/2 hours from where Lani is in Syracuse, I think, in Delaware Cty). I had 27″ last time I checked, and we’ve probably gotten another 2-3 since then, plus expecting a bit more overnight and tomorrow. As my Jewish grandmother would have said, “ENOUGH, ALREADY.”

    They closed all of NY State. The whole thing is under a state of emergency. They didn’t even have mail delivery, which I only remember happening once during major floods, and then it was only on certain roads.

    My plow guy didn’t show up until late afternoon, when I was getting a little claustrophobic, but at least I have a plow guy. Tomorrow I’ll have to do some more shoveling, but for now I’m happy to only have to do the walk outside the door.

    I love the look Mona is giving you over her shoulder as she walks back inside. I’m pretty sure she was thinking, “What the heck was the point of this, Crusie?”

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    1. She usually races to the door any time I open it. I’ve been out there shoveling three more times, and Milton was the only who came out with me. And he didn’t stay. It’s like “Screw this. Put down paper.”

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    1. The snow just stopped but another winter warning just popped up. Now we have blowing and drifting. Really bad blowing and drifting. And then this weekend because of a massive melt and overnight freezes, terrible ice.

      However it will be 85 here in July, with global warming probably in June. And you’ll be on fire. :p

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      1. I know *SOB* I like 85, in AUGUST. It’s just wrong in March.

        In other news, gmail has started bouncing the email notifications for comments to my spam folder and that’s just wrong too.

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  15. Its crazy here in northern CA! Epic rainfall up to last week causing flooding not seen in decades, but 80’s for last four days…my border collie cross Blue, loves outdoors no matter the weather, he was rolling on the path in the rain just for fun yet my other hooligans were not impressed with the rain. Charlie Waffles the beagle/ German Shepard acts as if the rain is attacking him and our foster Frenchie loathes the wet in every way. I swear the looks they give me say more than any human words.

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        1. Kind of like “and then murders began.” An all purpose suffix.
          Waffles would not work for Milton or Veronica. Mona Waffles would work, especially since we also call her Muppet and Muffin. I think Muffin Waffles might be overkill though.

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          1. Mona Waffles…on the job…I see her as being a more dignified sort, doing investigative reports compared to Charlie Waffles. I always explain him as the annoying but well meaning dumb jock, who thinks he is big and bad but then has his fluffy behind handed to him by the good but underfed hardworking kid who got tired of the Waffles banter…..and am I crazy for humanizing my dog and that this cartoon scenario just flashed through my head? I’ll go back to painting and reading the blog now!

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          2. No, no, I can totally see this happening. Except Mona is not dignified. If Button was a dog, she’d be Mona. Or if Mona was a human she’d be Button.

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  16. Stay safe everyone! We only got about 12 inches here. My poor snowblower chugged and huffed it’s way through it. My son, age 7+, loves it. It’s just wet enough to pack so he was trying to make a snow fort.

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  17. Could we have a 2nd moment of dog? It sounds like the snowfall was …. amazing … and it would be lovely to see it from a real person’s (or dog’s) perspective.

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    1. Well, Mona is refusing to go out now. It’s about twice as high as it was before and she came out this morning, said, “Nope,” and went back in. She even spit out the cookie I gave her. Totally disgusted with this white stuff, as am I.

      Milton and I will go out one more time to try to finish shoveling a path to the car. I’ll see if I can get a picture then.

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  18. About a foot of snow here. Today’s excellent yoga class started with the instructor saying, “How are we feeling today? Tight from shoveling?” – and the class nodding. Stiffly.

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  19. Had lots of snow and lots wind all night, lost power around 4 :30 p.m., still don’t have it back. Spent the evening in multiple sweaters and a hat under multiple blankets watching Guardians of the Galaxy on my laptop, then reading and watching on my iPad. I had the power all rationed out.
    So tonight I’m at my parents, who(m?) I convinced to get a fabulous automatic generator this summer, and it’s warm and light, and I have wifi! Also a cat and a dog, and human company. So, I’m good. And I’m glad the Goddesses decided not to venture on to the roads, as disappointing as that is. Easter is good, then you can color eggs.

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  20. It’s just over 90 here in Tucson according to my car. I sometimes envy people who have real seasons when it hits 115 here in the summer (I have a friend in Colorado who likes to tell me about her nice weather in the summer sometimes), but growing up in Arizona means I’m not equipped to handle actual weather. I have no desire to acquire the ability.

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  21. (-: Those are fabulous moments of dog, and it’s been so long. I’m sorry for your storm (and my daughter is in upstate New York, braving it out and only saying, “Well, it’s spring break here.”), but it is worth it for the cute puppies.

    Our puppies were born in October, so I’m not sure if they even remember a time when the ground wasn’t white. God, they love the stuff — digging their nose into it, tossing it up in the air, making snow angels (or whatever the doggy equivalent is — looks more like snow dragons by the time Rex is done). Mud season is just starting to come in, and they are fairly curious about this wet dirt stuff, too. Must smell marvelous, judging from their reactions. It’s so slippery, though, and they are getting so strong . . . I’m pretty sure I’m going to be tail over teakettle in a mud puddle some day soon. Ah well, that’s spring for you. Three large snowstorms, six inches of mud, and then finally the crocuses start to bloom and we’re into summer.

    Hope it all melts quickly and safely for you!

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  22. Take care, do put your phone in your pocket before you go out clearing snow just in case. My friend lives somewhere very hilly, she has a little sled to drag her groceries in when it’s winter.

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    1. I actually have been doing that because I’m getting pictures of Milton in the snow when I go out. Mona has joined Veronica in thinking the Great Outdoors is not that freaking great in the winter.

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