And thank you very much to everybody who posted a crit of my scene for giving me a lot of food for thought. I’ve been flailing because there’s so much STUFF in this book, and I knew this scene was way off, but it was obscured by the other Stuff. So this has been excellent.
Liz should be the protagonist in the scene but she’s passive, just letting ML wash over her. She’d have done that as an eighteen-year-old, but not at thirty-three. So everybody who said she needs to step is right.
ML needs to be more interesting. I think she really is a virago, and after I stepped back (which is what I’ve been doing for the past couple of days) and thought about her, I realized I had her conceptualized badly. Continue reading